textfiles/humor/malechem.txt

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Subject: M E N (Chemical Analysis)
CHEMICAL ANALYSIS
Element: Man
Symbol: Ah (short for a**h***, a common French root
used to identify the element)
Discoverer: Eve
Quantitative Analysis: Accepted at 7 inches, wavy brown hair, 6' 0" in length,
though some isotopes can be as short as 4 inches yet
way 200+ Kg.
Occurance: Found following duel element Wo, often in high
concentration near a perfect Wo specimen. (Experimental
evidence: any beach on any coast)
Physical properties: Obnoxious when mixed with C*H*-OH (any alcohol) Tends
to fall into very low energy state dirrectly after
reaction with Wo (Snore ... zzzzz) Gains considerable
mass as specimen ages, loses reactive nature. Rarely
found in pure form after 14th year. Often damaged as a
direct result of unlucky reaction with poluted form of
the Wo commom ore.
Chemical properties: All forms desire reaction with Wo, even when no further
reaction is possible. May react with several Wo
isotopes in short period under extremely favorable
conditions. Usually willing to react with what ever is
available. Reaction Rates range from aborted/non-
existant to Pre-interaction effects (which tend to turn
the specimen bright red and send it to react with Sa,
the sex analyist) Reaction styles vary from extremely
slow, calm and wet to violent/bloody.
Storage: Best results apparently near 18 for high reaction rate,
25-35 for favorable reaction style.
Uses: Heavy boxes, top shelves, long walks late at night,
free dinners for Wo...
Tests: Pure specimen will rarely reveal purity, while reacted
specimens broadcast information on many wavelengths.
Caution: Tends to react extremely violently when other Man
interferes (sp?) with reaction to a particular Wo
specimen. Otherwise very maleable under correct
conditions.
Here it is--enjoy.