486 lines
12 KiB
Plaintext
486 lines
12 KiB
Plaintext
YOU ARE ABOUT TO ENTER... A NEW DIMENSION... A DIMENSION OF VISUAL
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PHENOMENON AND SUPERNATURAL COMPLICATIONS. WHERE THE ANITDISESTABLISHED
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CORPORATIONS BECOME DISJOINT AND UNRECOGNIZABLE FROM THE YUPPIE HETEROGENEOUS
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SECTIONS OF MODERN SOCIETY... YOU ARE ABOUT TO ENTER A TOTALLY AND UNDENIABLY
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RE-UPHOLSTERED..
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TALE FROM THE LOSER ZONE
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/-------------------------------------|
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! (C) 1985 THE CIRCLE SPELLBOOK, INC. !
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|-------------------------------------/
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HE WAS KNOWN MOST POPULARLY AS BLACK BUCCANEER, FAMOUS PHREAKER, HACKER,
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PIRATE, AND ALL-AROUND DUDE. BY HIS PERSONAL FRIENDS HE WAS KNOWN AS RICK, NOT
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THE BEST FOOTBALL PLAYER, NOT A LETTERMAN IN HOCKEY, JUST A REALLY AWESOME
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DUDE... WHO WAS UP FOR ABOUT $200000 IN FINES TO THE U.S. GOVERNMENT... BUT
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HE COULDN'T GET CAUGHT... HE WAS TOO SMART FOR THAT, AND FOR THAT REASON HE WAS
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WELL RESPECTED ON EVERY BBS IN THE MIDWEST. THEN ONE DAY, HE CALLS THE PIRATE'S
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PLACE II, A WELL-KNOWN HACK/PHREAK BBS WHICH IN THE PAST HAS ALWAYS BEEN WELL
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KNOWN FOR ITS SREENING OUT OF LOSERS... BUT NO SYSOP CAN STAY HOME ALL THE TIME
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AND NO SYSTEM CAN BE PERFECT... AS MANY WERE ABOUT TO FIND OUT. FOR AS BLACK
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BUCCANEER DIALED THE LAST DIGIT OF THE PHONE NUMBER ON HIS COPY OF MEGATERM 4.0,
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HE DIDN'T REALIZE THAT HE HAD JUST GAINED ELITE ACCESS TO.. THE LOSER ZONE
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/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/|-|-|-|-|-|-|-|-|-|-|
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WELCOME TO THE PIRATES PLACE II...
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PLEASE ENTER YOUR SECURITY CODE:
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SWIFTLY RICK ENTERED HIS SPECIAL
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PASSWORD "8BLUE8" WHICH SIGNALLED THAT
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HE WAS A V.I.P. ON THAT BOARD.
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ON-LINE: BLACK BUCCANEER
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GOOD EVENING, IT IS 7:36 ON FRIDAY, NOVEMBER EIGHTH!
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LAST CALLER WAS: AUNTIE CRACKS-A-LOT
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(RICK GIVES A LAUGH WHEN HE THINKS OF THIS USER'S REPLY TO THE FEEDBACK HE
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MUST HAVE SENT...)
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YOU HAVE 10 PIECES OF MAIL WAITING!
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USE [E] OPTION TO READ.
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====== A N N O U N C E M E N T S ======
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(CTRL-S TO PAUSE/SPACE TO ABORT)
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RICK QUICKLY ABORTED THE ANNOUNCEMNT TO FIND OUT WHO THE HELL WOULD GIVE HIM
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TEN PIECES OF MAIL...
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---------------------------------------
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[?=MENU]: E
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[R]EAD MAIL, [S]END MAIL, OR [Q]UIT: R
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CHECKING YOUR MAILBOX... 10 LETTERS
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(CTRL-Q(SPACE TO ABORT)
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LETTER FROM: AUNTIE CRAKS-A-LOT
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POSTMARKED: 3:07 54 PM THUR NOV 08
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HEY, DOOD! I HAVE SOME KOOL WAREZ FOR
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YA IF YA WANT THEM, LIKE POLE POSTITION
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AND BEER RUN, BUT YOU HAVE TO HAVE A
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GOOD TRADE! IF YOU GIVE ME SOMETHING
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REALLY KOOL I MIGHT EVEN GIVE YOU
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ULTIMA V! HURRY UP AND CONTACT ME, I
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CAN'T HAVE MY BUDDIES IN BLACK BAG
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WAITING FOR ME!
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L83R,
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AUNTIE CRACKS-A-L0T
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PROUD MEMBER OF THE WISCONSIN WHACKERS
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(K)ILL, (R)EPLY, (S)AVE, (N)EXT (Q)UIT:
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RICK IS LAUGHING TO HARD TO TYPE WELL, BUT MANAGES THIS WEAK REPLY...
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80 COLUMNS, 100 LINES MAXIMUM /EN TO
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QUIT, /S TO QUICKSAVE, /Q TO QUIT
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YOU LOSER HAHAHA! MY GOD... YOU REMIND
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ME OF THAT JHONNY THE AVENGER IN THE
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REAL PIRATES GUIDE! HAHAHAHA!
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LATER,
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BLACK BUCCANEER
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PROUD MEMBER OF THE AUNTIE-CRAPS-A-LOT
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CLUB... ACME HACKERS, WE'RE GREAT
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WHACKERS! HAHAHAHAHA!
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/S
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PLEASE WAIT... DONE
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LETTER FROM: AWESOME USER
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DATE POSTED:
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ABORTED
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RICK IS STUNNED... ANOTHER LOSER... HOW COULD IT BE? RAPIDLY HE TYPES 'OFF'
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AND PULLS OUT A PHREKING PROGRAM TO GET A NEW CODE, PRAYING THAT THAT WAS JUST A
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FLUKE... UNFORTUNATELY, RICK OLD BOY, THERE ARE PLENTY MORE FLUKES TO COME!
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---------------------------------------
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RICK SPENT THAT ENTIRE NIGHT LOOKING THROUGH EVERY DICTIONARY HE COULD GET HIS
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HANDS ON FOR SUCH WORDS AS 'DUDEZ' AND 'KOOL,' WORDSK HE HAD NEVER HEARD OF
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BEFORE AS HIS ENTIRE LIFE HAD BEEN WITH PEOPLE WHO KNEW HOW TO SPELL. FINALLY
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GIVING UP, RICK DARED TO CALL AGAIN...
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WELCOME TO PIRATES PLACE II
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ENTER AUTHORIZATION CODE:
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------
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ONCE AGAIN, THE FAMOUS BLACK BUCCANEER WENT THROUGH THE PROCEDURE AND SKIPPED
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THE THIRTY-THREE LETTERS WAITING FOR HIM AND DECIDED TO TAKE A LOOK AT THE
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MESSAGE BASES.
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PIRATS PLACE II MENU OF SUB-BOARDS
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----------------------------------
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1 - GENERAL BOARD
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2 - HACKING BOARD
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3 - PHREAKING BOARD
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4 - PROGRAMMING BOARD
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5 - CREDIT CARDS AND OTHER THINGS
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6 - ANARCHY BOARD
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7 - COMMUNICATIONS BOARD
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8 - BLACKLIST
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9 - REVIEW BOARD
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10 - ELITE BOARD
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PLEASE PICK (1-10) :1
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GENERAL BOARD
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THERE ARE 99 MESSAGES POSTED
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SORTING...
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START LISTING TITLES WITH #90
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90. IDEA
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91. I AGREE
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92. HEY, DUDEZ!
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93. SUM K-K00L WAREZ!
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94. ULTIMA V!
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95. LET'S WAR!
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96. SHUT UP, PUSSY!
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97. YOU STINK!
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98. MY GOD! THE LOSERS HAVE INVADED!
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99. SHUT UP, DICKWHACK!
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READ MESSAGE # (1-99) : 98
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LETTER FROM: YELLOW JACKET
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DATED: 11/7/85
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WHAT THE HELL! IS THE SYSOP ON
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VACATION? WHAT'S HAPPENING? WHERE ARE
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THE COOL USERS? HELP!!!
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LATER,
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/-----|
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!= = =!
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!= = = |
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!= = = /
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!= = =!
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|-----/ THE YELLOWJACKET
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READ MESSAGE # (1-99)
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RICK SEES THAT HE IS NOT THE ONLY ONE PUZZLED BY THIS SUDDEN INVASION... WAR
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BOARDS EVERYWHERE, FAKE WARES, EVERYTHING FOUND IN A DUDE'S NIGHTMARE. QUICKLY,
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RICK SENDS MAIL TO THE YELLOW JACKET TELLING HIM HIS FEELINGS AND THEN LOGS OFF
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THANKFUL THAT NOT ALL THE LOSERS ARE THERE.
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---------------------------------------
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LETTER FROM: YELLOW JACKET
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POSTMARKED: 11/8/85
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WHAT DO YA MEAN, DOOD? I LIKE IT HEAR! ALL THESE K-KOOL PEOPLE ARE REALLY
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NICE TO ME! WHO CAREZ ABOUT HACKING? I'LL SPEND MY TIME CALLING ALL THEZE
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K-K00OO()()<><>L BULLET YELLOW JACKET!
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ISN'T B-SPACIN' K-KOOL?
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--------------------------------------
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IT IS THE NEXT DAY... RICK IS SHOCKED BEYOND REPLYING, AND QUICKLY REALIZES
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WHAT HE MUST DO... QUICKLY HE POSTS A MESSAGE ABOUT HIS NEW BBS WHICH HAD JUST
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GONE UP AND WAITS FOR THE GEEKS TO GO TO HIS TRAP...
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/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/
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WELCOME TO THE BUCCANEER'S CHEST
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WHAT'S YER CODE, MATE? NEW
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PLEASE ENTER YOUR FULL NAME:
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=>AWESOME USER
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PLEASE ENTER YOUR VOICE PHONE:
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=>000-000-0001
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YOU ARE:
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AWESOME USER
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000-000-0001
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IS THIS CORRECT? YEP, THAT'S RIGHT!
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PLEASE WAIT...
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YOUR PASSWORD IS: L053R
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PLEASE WR{ITE IT DOWN AS YOU WILL NEED IT THE NEXT TIME YOU LOG ON TO THE
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BUCCANEER'S CHEST!
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ON-LINE: AWESOME USER
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TODAY IS NOVEMBER 11
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LAST CALLER WAS: THE GEEK
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PLEASE WAIT... NO MAIL WAITING, SORRY!
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---------------------------------------
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BULLETIN UPDATED 11/6/85
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WELCOME TO BUCCANEER'S CHEST, WHERE THE BEST HACKERS AND PHREAKERS HANG OUT...
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THERE HAS BEEN A SUDDEN UNEXPLAINED INCREASE IN LOSERS AROUND HERE, SO I'VE
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DECIDED TO GIVE A BIG SURPRISE TO ANY LOSER WHO WOULD LIKE TO CHAT WITH ME...
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SO IF YOUR'RE A LOSER, COME ON DOWN!
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LATER,
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BLACK BUCCANEER OF...
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/-----------/
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/ /!
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/ / !
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/-----------/ !
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! ! !
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!BUCCANEER'S! !
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! CHEST ! !
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! ! /
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! !/
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!-----------/
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-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=---=-=-=-=-
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[?=MENU] :C
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"AYE, CAP'N! GUY HERE BY DE NAME OF AWESOME USER 'ERE TA SEE YA' SIR!"
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THE DOOR TO THE CAP'NS QUARTERS OPENS AND OUT STEPS YOUR SYSOP, BLACK
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BUCCANEER WITH A SNEER AND A BOTTLE O' RUM IN HIS HAND.
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SO, YOU SAW MY MESSAGE, EH?
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YEAH! I WANT SUM K-K00()()OOL WARESEZ!
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I HAVE SUM GOOD 1'S, BUT U GOTTA GIMME
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SUM GOOD AXESS!
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I KNOW, AND I WILL... ALL YOU HAVE TO
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DO IS TYPE 'OFF' AND THEN NEVER CALL
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ANOTHER BBS FOR THREE MONTHS! THEN
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SUDDENLY YOU'LL GET SOME REALLY GOOD
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GAMES!
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K-K00L, MAN! THANX, FREND!
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NO PROBLEM, BUD.
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"IT'S BEEN A GOOD CHAT, MATEY, BUT I GOTTA GO FIX DIS HERE COURSE WITH MY GIRL
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IN DARE... THANKS FER CHATTIN'"
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-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
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[?=MENU] :OFF
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YOU WERE CALLER NUMBER 357
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GOODBYE, AWESOME...
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RICK CHUCKLES TO HIMSELF "FOUR LOSERS DOWN AND A MULTITUTDE TO GO... HEHE"
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---------------------------------------
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LATER THAT WEEK, RICK CALLS THE PIRATES PLACE II TO GLOAT OVER HIS TRIUMPH...
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AND SUDDENLY FINDS OUT THAT HE'S MISSED THE BIGGEST LOSER OF ALL... (WARNING:
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THE BELOW LETTER TO "BLACK BUCCANEER" SHOULD NOT BE READ BY PEOPLE WITH BAD
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HEART CONDITIONS, CANCER, LUKEMIA, OR AN ALERGY TO LOSERS AS THE SURGEON GENERAL
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HAS DETERMINED THAT READING ANYTHING BE THIS PERSON CAN BE EXTREMELY DANGEROUS
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TO YOUR HEALTH)
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LETTER FROM: MAXIMILLIAN KEHE
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DEVLIERED: 11/15/85
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DUDESEZ,
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I HAVE SUM REAL K-K00()()<><>CCOOL WARESEZ LIKE KARATEKA III AND PAC-MAN II,
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BUT I BEE-ING A GREAT DOOD EX-PECT T GET A GREAT TRADE FROM U! OR ELSE I'M
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GONNA GET MY TEN-FOOT TALL DADDY TO PUNCH U AND THEN MY BUDDY JHONNY THE AVENGER
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WILL FONE UR STUPID BOAD AND KRASH IT!
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C U LAID-HER, DOOD!
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MAXIMILLIAN KEHE
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I BUY MY K-KOO00L ADAM AT KALDOORS!
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(DON'T SAY WE DIDN'T WARN YOU!!!)
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RICK WAS STUNNED, CONFUSED, AND DUMBFOUNDED AS HE KILLED THIS MAIL AND WENT ON
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TO THE MESSAGES.
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90. UP YOURS, PUSSY!
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91. DRUGZ R K-K00L!
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92. I GET HIGH ON SWEETTARTS!
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93. GUMMI BEAR FER PRES!
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94. D&D IS K-K00L KAR-TOON!
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94. I LUV DISKS!
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95. WHAT'S A SHOWER?
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96. I DON'T KNOW BUT...
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97. IT GETS U CLEAN! EWWWWW!
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98. MY GIRLFRIEND
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99. ECH! COOTIES!
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READ WHICH (1-99) :
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RICK SLOWLY AND METHODICALLY READ ALL THE I&Uj4SS ON THE SUB... AND THE
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NEXT... AND THE NEXT... FOR WHAT SEEMED LIKE ALL ETERNITY...
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---------------------------------------
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EPILOUGE:
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ON-LINE: BLACK BUCCANEER
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WELCOME! TODAY IS SUN, NOVEMBER 21
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LAST CALLER: MORGAN THE PIRATE
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NO MAIL WAITING, SORRY!
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====== A N N O U N C E M E N T S ======
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(CTRL-S TO PAUSE/SPACE TO ABORT
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WELL, I'M BACK FROM VACATION AND HERE I SEE LOSERS EVERYWHERE! SOMEONE MUSTA
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GOTTEN INTO THE SYSOP FUNCTIONS AND GIVEN ALL YOU LOSERS ACCESS... WELL, YOU
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CAN BE SURE YOU'LL BE LATERED BY THE END OF THIS WEEK!
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LATER,
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MORGAN THE PIRATE
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---------------------------------------
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[?=MENU] :
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PLEASE WAIT...
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(*> ATTENTION! THE SYSOP IS PRESENT <*)
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HEY, RICK! CAN YOU BELIEVE ALL THE GEEKS AROUND HERE SUDDENLY? THIS IS
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RIDICULOUS! MY FEEDBACK WAS FILLED WITH FIFTY LETTERS FOR "K-K00L WARES!" IT'S
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RIDICULOUS... IF I DIDN'T HAVE THAT EXTRA 10 MEGS THE BBS MIGHTA GONE DOWN...
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I CAN'T BELIEVE IT!
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WHAT GEKS? EVERYONE HERE IS A K-K00L DOOD! HAY! I C YOU'RE BACK FROM
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VACATION... CAN U GIVE ME ULTIMA V? AND ALSO... I WANNA BE CO-SYSOP! CAN U
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GIVE ME SYSOP AXESS?.....
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-----------------------------
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NOT EVEN GOOD STUDENTS ENJOY ENGLISH OR VOCABULARY... BUT SOMETIMES ONE MUST
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REALIZE THE IMPORTANCE OF IT, AND WHEN ONE DOES, IF NOT PREPARED HE MAY NOT BE
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ABLE TO TAKE IT... AND BECOME ANOTHER DUDE WHO CRACKED... ANOTHER OBSCURE
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DEFINITION IN... THE LOSER ZONE.
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||
/-------------------------------------|
|
||
! (C) 1985 THE CIRCLE SPELLBOOK, INC. !
|
||
|-------------------------------------/
|
||
|
||
FOR MORE CIRCLE SPELLBOOK HUMOR LIKE "DORKS AND DUDES: THE HACKERS ROLE-
|
||
PLAYING GAME," CALL THE CIRCLE OF ENCHANTERS AT (203) 972-2810... AND STUFF THE
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COUPON BELOW INTO YOUR MODEM FOR SYSOP AXESS!
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---------------------------------------
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! I HEREBY PROMISE TO GIVE !
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! SYSOP ACCESS WHEN I GET -----------!
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! HIS/ HER LETTER THROUGH ~YOUR NAME~!
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! MY MODEM, SO HELP ME GOD !
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! I ALSO DECLARE THAT I'M !
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! NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR ANY THE CIRCLE !
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! DAMAGE DONE WHILE HE OF !
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! TRIES THIS RIDICULOUS ENCHANTERS !
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! THING. SEND TO: !
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! SINCERELY, !
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! (203) 972-2810!
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! THE WIZARD !
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! MERLYN !
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---------------------------------------
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(CUT ON THE DOTTED LINE... FIGURE OUT YOURSLF HOW TO SEND IT)
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LATER!
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||
Call The Works BBS - 1600+ Textfiles! - [914]/238-8195 - 300/1200 - Always Open
|
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