381 lines
8.7 KiB
Plaintext
381 lines
8.7 KiB
Plaintext
=====================================
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]%% %%[
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]% CHUCKO'S Guide for %[
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] [
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] Detecting LOZER USERS [
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] [
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] Produced by: [
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] [
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] BIT BY BIT Information Services [
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]%---------------------------------%[
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] A Comprehensive guide designed [
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] to aid the SysOp in the detection [
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] and removal of leeches, lozers, [
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]% assholes and other pests. %[
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]%% %%[
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=====================================
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Yes folks, another text file on our
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favorite subject, BBS abusers!
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When a lozer user logs on to your BBS,
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he/she may display the following
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subtile traits:
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CALLING
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-------
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A lozer user will usually call your
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system 5-10 times before he figures
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out that he must flip the switch on
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his crummy modem to 'data' in order
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to get any results. After several
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more calls, he discovers that he gets
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a much better connection with the
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other switch in 'originate'. Due to
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the recent influx of cheap 1200 baud
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modems(6470, a big mistake) this phase
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of lozer detection is more difficult
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because most sysops automatically
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assume that a 1200 baud user knows
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what the fuck he is doing.
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LOGGING ON
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----------
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Watching a lozer user log on is like
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watching a fly bat itself against a
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window. Mindless persistance. After
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watching for awhile, you will usually
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find yourself wondering how they
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managed to dial your number, much less
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perform the other complex tasks assoc-
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iated with modem and computer use.
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What is really fun is switching to
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another BBS program and counting the
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number of times the lozer tries his
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old I.D. before he figures out that he
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must re-apply. If you have recently
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deleted the lozer who is trying to
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log on, you can have a laugh as you
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watch the already slow typing lozer
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type his I.D. and PWD slower and
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slower with every attempt!
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THE MAIN MENU
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-------------
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The average lozer seems to have some
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adversion to read the menu, as well as
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any other text file designed to help a
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user learn how to use the board. They
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seem to be more content with trying
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every posssible combination of letters
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until they find something that works.
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He calls this 'hacking'. A lozer does
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not know how to pause text, but that
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is not a problem for him because he
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doesnt read anything anyway. Here is
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a sample of the first commands usually
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tried by the lozer:
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D,DIR,DOW,UPL,UL,UD,U,DOW(again...)
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After the Board tells him several
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times that his level is too low, he
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might try Chat anywhere from 5 to 20
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times, or if he is already too taxed
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mentally from his 'hacking' session,
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he may simply log off, or before
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logging off, he may leave you some
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feedback asking 'how come I can't
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upload?' (bullshit, never uploaded in
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his life...) The seasoned lozer aborts
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(yes, they learn how to abort) every-
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thing on his blind way to the main
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prompt(where upon your screen fills up
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with whatever the abort character is)
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several seconds later he realizes he
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has reached the main prompt and tries
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all commands associated with getting
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GAMEZ. If for some unknown reason his
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download attempts are unsuccessful,
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he will immediately log off or hang up
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(the leech's 'log off') and hurry to
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call another board. If you are lucky,
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he will think your system sucks, and
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not bother calling back. But usually
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other systems give him the same
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treatment, and he calls yours back,
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out of shear boredom. At this time,
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he will probably discover some of the
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other commands on your system by
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'hacking' some more.
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CHAT
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----
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Heavily abused, need I say more?
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Well, maybe not, but I will supply a
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sample chat session anyway:
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CHAT ENGAGED:
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L:wHATZ UP? (notice reversed case)
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S:the price of your ol' lady's puddy.
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L:dO YUU HAVE (some old game)?
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S:i formatted the disk last week.
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L:oH ok.
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S:is that all you wanted?
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L:wHEN CANB I GET A LEVBEL RAISDE?
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(no back space, wonder why?)
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S:ask me again in 2 years.
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L:ok.dO YOU HABVE(some other old game)
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S:get lost, leech.
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(connection mysteriously lost)
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Sometimes the better leeches are up on
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the latest software and, of course,
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they expect you to give it to them.
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FEEDBACK(when you dont wanna chat
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-------- with the asshole)
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I will also provide a sample feedback.
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Feedback is rare, due to the fact that
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most of these assholes hate typing
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even more than they hate reading.Plus
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it consumes precious time that could
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be better spent downloading.
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From: MASSIVE DUNG BALL [#107]
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Date: Sun Jul 21, 1986 8:47 PM
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Access: Scum! Phone: (301)/263-9926
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Name: BRANDON GOLDFELTER
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======================================
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i THINK i AM READSY FOR A LEVVEL
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RAISDESZ
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(notice once again, reverse case
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and no backspace...)
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i WOULDF KLIKE LEVCEL 8.
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tHAT WOUYLD BE GREDAT!THANX!
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i WOUKLD LIKE TO DOWNLOASD(attemps to
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backspace frantically)UPLOAFD MORE.=
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dO YOU HASVE ANY GPOOD GAMES?
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wHY CANTY i BACKLSPOACE?
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oH, i READF THE FILES(amazing...)ON
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MCI CAMMONDS BUT i DOENT UDNERSTAD THE
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THEM.CAN YUPO TELL ME HOW THEY WOLRK?
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#V0
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#P0
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oH WELL, TALK TO YPOU LATXER!
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/e
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/exit
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/s
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/ex
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/x
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..SAVE >>SAVE
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lET ME OUTT!
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'.h'
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help
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SHIT!
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HELP ME SYSOP!
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(hangs up,totally confused)
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Maybe they leave more feedback than
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we know about...
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POSTING MESSAGES
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----------------
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Lozers don't like to post either.
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Unless they have something REALLY
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important to post, like this:
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#4 'i NEED'
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By MASSIVE DUNG BALL (UID#107)
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On Thu Jun 5, 1986 1:00 PM
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-- No Responses --
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dOES ANYONRE HABVE:=
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rAID OBVER mOSCOW
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zORK
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iMPOSSSIBLE mISHION
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sUMMER GAMNES
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gOUST bUSTERS
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gORF
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i WANTED TO UPLOSAD lEMONADE BUT i
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dIDNT HAVE THE TIME. iF u WANT TO
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TRADE,GIVBE ME CA A CALL AT 263-9926.
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l8TOR dUDEZ!
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* *
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** **
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* * *
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* * a s sb i v e
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***
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* *
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* *
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* *
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**b un ng
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***
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*d *
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***
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* *
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* *
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*** a ll!!
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p.s.dONT CALL AFTER 930 pm CAUDSE mOM
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WILL TAKE MY COMNPOTER AWAY.
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..S
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AVE
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'.S'
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>>save
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Respond or Private Reply?
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TEXT FILES
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----------
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Skip it...lozers do...
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E-MAIL
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------
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Once again, the lozer hates typing and
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will only send E-mail if he thinks he
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can get gamez by doing it. It will
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generally look as bad as the sample
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post & feedback above. I dare not
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explore the mindless dribble that goes
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on as 2 lozers send E-mail back and
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forth to each other.
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WELL, it would take more typing than
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I can do in a year to describe all of
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the traits a lozer might display. But
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you get the general idea...
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Now on to:
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=---------------=
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] LOZER REMOVAL [
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=---------------=
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Detection is after all, relatively
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easy. Removing the lozer can be a real
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pain in the ass. sure you can simply
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delete him, but most lozers will
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simply use that old lozer trick of
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re-applying under a new name. On a
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busier BBS that doesnt voice validate
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everyone, he can slip through and
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possibly go un-noticed for several
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days or weeks if he is lucky. But it's
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only a matter of time before he gets
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detected again...How about a special
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level just for lozers, maybe even give
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them their own message base? Naaaah...
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Blacklist the fuckheads! force them to
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call the only boards that will have
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them!
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LOZER BBS'S!!
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Program: 6485 or HAL
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Baud: 300
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Hours: Whenever they're not
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playing gamez
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This file was poorly written by
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CHUCKO
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with help from
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DOUBLE D and X-CALIBUR
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Thanks to the lozers of the world,
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without whom this file would not
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have been necessary.
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Just for the hell of it, call the only
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BBS with an entrance exam:
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Hacker's Haven
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Program:Another Modified C-Net...
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Baud:300/1200
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Hours:24
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Number:301-269-5759
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Also call(just for the hell of it):
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The Lunatic Phringe BBS
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Baud:300/1200
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Hours: 24
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Number:312-965-3677
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British Exchange
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Program:CMBBSv5.1(CHUCKOMOD!)
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Baud:300/1200
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Hours:24
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Number:301-269-7550
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T.G.U.B.B.S.
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Program:CMBBS (TAYLORMOD!)
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Baud:300/1200
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Hours:24
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Number:301-263-8718
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The BADLANDS
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Program:CMBBSv5.1 (CHUCKOMOD!)
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Baud:300/1200
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Hours:24
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Number:301-974-4870
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Be sure and call the other great BBS'
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located in various states!
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(unless you're a lozer)
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Written 7-22-86
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Hope you enjoyed it.
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==========================
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]% %[
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] Now kindly PISS OFF... [
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]% %[
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==========================
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The Lunatic Phringe BBS
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312-965-3677 300/1200 Baud
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