99 lines
5.6 KiB
Plaintext
99 lines
5.6 KiB
Plaintext
THE LEGUME LIBERATION LEAGUE
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Even as you read these words, in this country alone, millions of innocent and
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helpless living vegetables are being tortured alive. Some are tossed into
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cauldrons of boiling hot water; others are suffering the indignities of being
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steamed to slow deaths in pressure cookers, and countless thousands more are
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being masticated alive. Yes, the lot of a vegetable in America is not a
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pleasant one.
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From artichokes to beans, from celery to eggplant, from grapes to kiwi
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fruits, from lettuce to mangoes, from onions to persimmons, from raspberries to
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turnips, from yams to zucchini, the entire world of vegetables, fruits and nuts
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is under assault by the inconsiderate masses of humanity who wantonly destroy
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the hapless vegetation which lacks even the animal's capacity for escape.
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These hordes of humanity will wantonly destroy whole fields of produce without
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betraying even the slightest flicker of concern towards the sensitive feelings
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of these beautiful creatures as they die.
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You've saved the whales. You've banned the Bomb. Now, you are ready for the
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greatest challenge of them all: the rights of the least of our brothers on
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this SpaceShip Earth. Boycott fruits, vegetables and nuts. Read on for
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salient facts:
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*It is well-established that plants are sensitive to your emotions.
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Houseplants have been shown to have an affinity for music. Think of this the
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next time you snap a celery stalk -- plants can and do feel pain.
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*Under the guise of "Salad", many plants are ingested by humans while still
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*horrors* raw and ALIVE. These plants, were their root systems still intact
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(it is another barbarous practice to remove the root system from a plant),
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would be able to grow and live normal, healthy lives. Other plants are able to
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regenerate new root systems, and for them it is a double crime to end their
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struggling lives so short of their goals. Eating living matter in such a state
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is no less disgusting in today's civilized world as eating still- living
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chickens or cattle.
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*The eating of nuts is actually a form of plant abortion, as nuts are
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actually tiny plant embryos who have not yet had the chance to experience the
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wonders and the glories of life. If you are Pro-Life, you will not touch
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another nut.
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* In this society, humans eat far more fruits (the female portion) than
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flowers (generally incorporating both the male and the female portion) of
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plants. How this sexist behavior of avoiding eating the male portion of plants
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arose would fill volumes, but if you have at all had your consciousness raised
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by Feminist thought, you will desist immediately from the eating and murder of
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fruits, if only to atone for the centuries of sexual domination of the male
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over the defenseless fruit. Many fruits also contain edible seeds -- as with
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the nuts, eating these destroys countless unborn embryos.
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* There is a callous brutality exceeding anything in the meat-packing
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industry when it comes to shipping the unlucky legumes, fruits, nuts and
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assorted vegetables, and displaying them in "produce" departments. Damaged and
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dying vegetables intermingle amongst the reasonably healthy ones, all jam-
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packed together with little breathing room. This is reminescent of last
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century's slave trade shipment and display practices we so rightfully deplore.
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*Supermarket grade vegetables are subject to additional indignities --
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tomatoes are force-fed ethylene glycol while immature to induce a bright red
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color; bananas are injected to keep them artificially fresh longer -- the
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horror stories abound. Even their living conditions while these poor creatures
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are growing in the field are less than optimal - being sprayed by deadly
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insecticides, being given plant hormones, being forced to grow in crowded
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situations only among other plants of their own kind. The list is endless.
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* Another spine-chilling horror foisted upon the plant kingdom is the
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pulverizing of helpless and living fruit and vegetable flesh, while still
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quivering, into various jellies, jams, and juices. The same barbaric practices
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happen in the manufacture of ketchup and apple sauce.
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What can YOU do?
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Write your Congressman. Boycott all grains, fruits and vegetables and nuts.
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Boycott all products made from grains, fruits, vegetables or nuts. Support
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research in creating artificial food. A lot of progress is being made in this
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area, as evidenced by the proliferation of fast food emporiums across the
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countryside. If you have already ceased eating most animal matter for similar
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reasons, be aware that one may still safely eat non-fertilized chicken eggs,
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milk, milk products (even yogurt -- the Yeast and Paramecium Protection Party
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are obvious crackpots -- single-celled organisms haven't the capacity to feel
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pain). Drink water. Write your local PBS station to protest the showing of
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episodes of the Dr. Who who wears a dying stick of celery in his lapel. Stop
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using plant names in a derogatory fashion -- calling people fruity or nutty in
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an uncomplimentary fashion only makes it the harder for the true fruits and
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nuts to come into their own natural rights, free of discrimination.
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And, don't forget to support the Legume Liberation League in its unending
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legal struggle to ban the importation and sale of vegetable matter anywhere.
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We at LLL are also considering seeking voting rights for those plants of legal
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age and over.
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Remember: Plants were here first. Don't they get any rights? Thank you for
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your generous support in this time of crisis.
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(A request may be made for our other pamphlet, "Houseplant Liberation: An
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Idea Whose Time Has Come".)
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-Vera Gemini, copyright 1987-
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