41 lines
2.2 KiB
Plaintext
41 lines
2.2 KiB
Plaintext
Q. How many lawyers does it take to change a light bulb?
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A. WHEREAS the Party of the First Part, also known as "Lawyer" and the Party
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of the Second Part, also known as "Light Bulb," do hereby and forthwith agree
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to a transaction wherein the Party of the Second Part (Light Bulb) shall be
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removed from the current position as a result of failure to perform
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previously agreed upon duties, i.e. the lighting, elucidation, and otherwise
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illumination of the area ranging from the front (north) door, through the
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entryway, terminating at an area just inside the primary living area,
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demarcated by the beginning of the carpet, any spillover illumination being
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at the option of the Party of the Second Part (Light Bulb) and not required
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by the aforementioned Agreement between the Parties.
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The aforementioned removal transaction shall include, but shall not be
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limited to, the following:
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1. The Party of the First Part (Lawyer) shall, with or without elevation
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at his option, by means of a chair, stepstool, ladder, or any other means of
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elevation, grasp the Party of the Second Part (Light Bulb) and rotate the
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Party of the Second Part (Light Bulb) in a counter-clockwise direction, this
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point being non-negotiable.
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2. Upon reaching a point where the Party of the Second Part (Light Bulb)
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becomes separated from the Party of the Third Part ("Receptacle"), the Party
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of the First Part (Lawyer) shall have the option of disposing of the Party of
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the Second Part (Light Bulb) in a manner consistent with all applicable
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state, local, and Federal statutes.
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3. Once separation and disposal shall have been achieved, the Party of
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the First Part (Lawyer) shall have the option of beginning installation of
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the Party of the Fourth Part ("New Light Bulb"). This installation shall
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occur in a manner consistent with the reverse of the procedures described in
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paragraph 1 hereof, except that the rotation shall occur in a clockwise
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direction, this point also being non-negotiable.
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NOTE: The above-described steps may be performed, at the option of the
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Party of the First Part (Lawyer), by any or all persons authorized by him, the
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object being to produce the most possible revenue for the Party of the Fifth
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Part ("Law Firm").
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