96 lines
4.1 KiB
XML
96 lines
4.1 KiB
XML
From pa1213@sdcc13.ucsd.edu Wed Nov 15 17:44:05 1989
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From: pa1213@sdcc13.ucsd.edu (--= B-^-T-M-^-N =--)
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Subject: Law School
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My brother, a third year UCLA law student recently sent me an interesting
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list of comparision between lawyers-to-be and not-to-be. He called it:
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A LAW SCHOOL CHRONOLOGY
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-----------------------
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First Year, First Semester:
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LAWYER-TO-BE LAWYER-NOT-TO-BE
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- Always raise hand in class. - Extreme fear lightened with strong
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- Carry fifty pounds of books doses of nausea.
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with ease. - Inability to answer any questions.
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- Pursue professors. - Wild crushes on female students
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- Begin drafting a law review ( for male ), on male students (F).
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article. - Study hours on end using assigned
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course books written by professors.
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First Year ,Second Semester:
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- Always raise hand in class - Extreme nausea lightened with strong
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while calling out the answers. doses of fear.
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- Carry seventy-five pounds of - Inability to say anything other than
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books with ease. a case number and date.
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- Become assistant to tenured - Study hours on ends using horn books.
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professors.
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First Year ,Summer:
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- Work as law intern at father's - Work as an auto mechanic.
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law firm.
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Second Year, First Semester:
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- Organize study group. - Discover law ponies that synopsize
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- Have friends from study groups an entire course in fifty pages,
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shepardize and rewrite rejected including exam questions and answers.
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law review articles. - Discover the neighborhood bar.
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- Sit primly in class since no - Discover that some female students
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longer need to answer questions. have been dating professors.
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Second Year, Second Semester:
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- Reject numerous marriage proposals. - Stop studying and worrying about
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- Date law review editor in chief. women/men.
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Male or female. - Go to summer job interviews around
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- Be accepted into a law review. the clock.
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- Accept summer position at firm - Begin drinking heavily and smoking
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where father used to work. becoming more habitual.
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Second Year, Summer:
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- Internship at one thousand - Work as a senior auto mechanic.
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dollars a week.
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Third Year, First Semester:
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- Accept offer to return to large - Worry about getting a law job paying
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firm as associate. more than the interests due on student
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- Strike up strong friendship with loan.
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professors since the only student - Marry a fellow student who remains
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still attending class. friendly with a professor.
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- Publish law review article on the - Stop going to classes.
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impact of sexual discrimination - Engrave name on stool at the bar.
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on socio-economic realities.
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Third Year, Second Semester:
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- Take time off for a trip to Europe. - Divorce, file counter claim against
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ex-spouse.
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- Interview around the clock.
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- Don't remember where the law school
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is.
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Graduation, Summer:
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- Arrange to take bar exam in - Study for bar exam using a booklet
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Florence , Italy. synopsizing the law in ten pages.
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- Take bar exam in lousy neighborhood.
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- Get mugged.
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- Reconsile with ex-spouse since will
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be working eighty hour weeks anyway.
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--
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+----------------=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=------------------+
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| (\^/) --= B-^-T-M-^-N =-- (\^/) |
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| Internet: avdean@ucsd * UUCP: ..!ucsd!avdean * BITNET: AVDEAN@UCSD |
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