textfiles/humor/jokeju07.txt

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Who said religion is not fun? Here are actual messages from
real church bulletins. The names of the churches are not
given to protect the guilty.
1. This afternoon there will be a meeting in the south and
north ends of the church. Children will be baptized at both
ends.
2. Tuesday evening there will be an ice cream social. All
ladies giving milk, please come early.
3. Wednesday, the ladies liturgy society will meet. Mrs
Johnson will sing: "Put me in my little bed," accompanied
by the Pastor.
4. Thursday at 5pm there will be a meeting of the little
mothers club. All those wishing to be come little mothers,
please meet the minister in his study.
5. This being Easter Sunday, we will ask Mrs. Johnson to
come forward and lay an egg on the altar.
6. The services will close with "little drops of water."
One of the ladies will start quietly and the rest of the
congregation will join in.
7. On sunday, a special collection will be taken to defray
the expenses of the new carpet. All those wishing to do
something on the carpet, come forward and get a piece of
paper.
8. The ladies of the church have cast off clothing of every
kind and they may be seen in the church basement on friday
afternoon.
9. A bean supper will be held saturday evening in the
church basement. Music will follow.
10. The rosebud on the altar this morning is to announce the
birth of David Alan Belser, the sin of Reverend and Mrs.
Julius Belser.