128 lines
4.5 KiB
INI
128 lines
4.5 KiB
INI
ú Newsgroup: alt.elvis.sighting
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ú Message-ID: <1qbhulINNou4@gap.caltech.edu>
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ú Subject: Elvis & JC - "Coincidence"?
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I am posting this now because it is safely past a full moon.
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------------------------------------------------------------------------>:)
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Date: 20 Mar 93 02:32 GMT
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From: QUIOTIX@AppleLink.Apple.COM (Quiotix, Brian Goetz,APD)
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Subject: Elvis and Jesus
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(:O & 5:1 JESUS and ELVIS - Coincidence, or Cosmic Plan? (:O & 5:1
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==============================================
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JESUS is the Lord's shepherd.
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ELVIS dated Cybill Shepherd.
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JESUS was a carpenter.
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ELVIS' favorite high school class was wood shop.
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JESUS was part of the Trinity.
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ELVIS' very first band was a trio.
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JESUS' entourage, the Apostles, had 12 members.
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ELVIS' entourage, the Memphis Mafia, had 12 members.
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JESUS is a Capricorn. (December 25) [though may actually be September 23]
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ELVIS is a Capricorn. (January 8)
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JESUS was the lamb of God.
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ELVIS had mutton chop sideburns.
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JESUS was first and foremost the Son of God.
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ELVIS first recorded with Sun Studios, performing what are still considered
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to be his foremost recordings.
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JESUS' Father is everywhere.
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ELVIS' father was a drifter, and moved around quite a bit.
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JESUS said, "If any man thirst, let him come unto me, and drink." (John 7:37)
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ELVIS said, "Drinks on me!" (Jailhouse Rock, MGM:1957)
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JESUS fasted for 40 days and nights.
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ELVIS had irregular eating habits. (eg: 5 banana splits for breakfast)
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JESUS said: "Man shall not live by bread alone."
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ELVIS liked his sandwiches with peanut butter and bananas.
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Matthew was one of JESUS' many biographers. (The Gospel According to Matthew)
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Neil Matthews was one of ELVIS' many biographers. (Elvis: A Golden Tribute)
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"[JESUS'] countenance was like lightning, and his raiment white as snow."
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ELVIS wore snow-white jumpsuits with lightning bolts. (Matthew 28:3)
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JESUS said: "Love thy neighbor." (Matthew 22:39)
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ELVIS said: "Don't be cruel." (RCA 1956)
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JESUS walked on water. (Matthew 14:25)
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ELVIS surfed on water. (Blue Hawaii, Paramount:1965)
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Mary, an important woman in JESUS' life, had an Immaculate Conception.
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Priscilla, an important woman in ELVIS' life, attended Immaculate
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Conception High School.
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JESUS H. CHRIST has 12 letters.
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ELVIS PRESLEY has 12 letters.
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No one knows what the "H" in "JESUS H. Christ" stood for.
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No one was really sure if ELVIS' middle name was "Aron" or "Aaron".
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JESUS wore a crown of thorns.
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ELVIS wore Royal Crown hair styler.
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JESUS had his famous Resurrection.
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ELVIS had the famous 1968 "comeback" TV special.
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JESUS lived in a state of grace, in a Near Eastern land.
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ELVIS lived in Graceland, in a nearly eastern state.
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BUT WAIT - THERE'S MORE!
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------------------------
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The letters in ELVIS also spell: "Lives", "Evils", and "Viles".
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The letters in JESUS don't spell much of anything else.
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But then, neither do the letters in PRESLEY.
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However, JESUS CHRIST does transmogrify to: "Chess Jurist", "Rich
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Justess" (close enough), "Sterjc Sushi" (Czech fingerfood), "Such
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Sister J" (a possible `friend' of Elvis??), and "Such jest, Sir!"
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Further, ELVIS PRESLEY will also spell: "Less Vile Prey", "Silly
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Vespere", "Peerless Vily", and "Riply's Sleeve" (Believe It or Not!)
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Moreover, "Christmas" has the same number of letters as "Graceland".
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And the three letters shared in common, spell both "arc" and "car".
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Lastly - and this is an Internet Exclusive - JESUS and ELVIS were
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never both seen in the same place at the same time.
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It is left to the Reader to make the obvious connection.
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==================================================================
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This revelation Copyright 2001 by The Jesus/Elvis Connection, Inc.
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*Special Thanks* to DAVE YOST <yost@mv.us.adobe.com>,
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and relayed via the rampant ruminations of:
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________________________________________ ___._`.*.'_._ ________
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Mike Jittlov - Wizard, etc . . + * .o o.* `.`. +.
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Hollywood, CA 90026-2714 ' * . ' ' |\^/| `. * . *
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jittlov@gumby.cs.caltech.edu (: May All Your \V/ Good Dreams
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<& alt.fan.mike-jittlov> and Fine Wishes /_\ Come True:)
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============================================= _/ \_ ===========
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And while we're on a creative-obsessive roll, "MICHAEL JITTLOV" also
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re-spells to a few G-rated phrases, including: "Hi-Volt Jet Claim",
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"Little Mocha Jiv(e)" (which certain friends will understand quite
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well), and best of all, "Hot Time - Call VIJ".
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[insert disclaimer here, if "VIJ" are your initials] [or not]
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