textfiles/humor/insult

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28 LAUGHING WAYS TO INSULT YOUR FRIENDS AND ENEMIES:
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Why don't you act like a human being or don't you do impersonations?
You're NUMBER ONE in my book. My book is called "Creeps I Have Known".
You're bound to marry well - everyone is above you.
There's nothing I won't do for you - and I'm going to keep on doing it.
You're outstanding in your field, and that's where you should be -
out standing in your field.
When I want your remarks, I'll rattle your cage.
Would you mind reaching into your heart and getting me a piece of ice?
I'm forming an attachment for you - it fits right over your mouth.
Keep talking - you'll think of something to say.
You're just what the doctor ordered - shock treatment.
Why don't you take a powder - preferably arsenic.
You came from nothing, and you brought it with you.
You've given me something to live for - REVENGE.
You're not the person you used to be - and you never were.
You have so much ugly, you could open a branch face.
If there's nothing to say, I'm sure you'll say it.
You're quite a charmer - I'll get you a snake and a flute.
Do I need you? About as much as Custer needed more Indians.
Do I need you? About as much as the "Titanic" needed more water.
You're the kind of person I can't get over, so I'll go around you.
Let me say three little words that will make you dance on air:
"Go hang yourself!"
Your heart's in the right place - it's your head I'm worried about.
You're making a fool of yourself, and I've never seen better craftmanship.
When people ask me what I see in you, what can I tell them?
I'd love to paint you - do you prefer varnish ot lacquer?
I've heard alot about you - now let's hear your side of the story.
I'd like to help you out - Which way did you come in?
Of course I'll give you a hand - right across the mouth.
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