57 lines
2.7 KiB
Plaintext
57 lines
2.7 KiB
Plaintext
YOU KNOW YOU,RE FROM HUSTLER, WISCONSIN WHEN:
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1. You have spray painted your girlfriends name on an overpass.
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2. You consider a six pack and a bug zapper quality entertainment
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3. When someone asks to see your ID and you show them, your belt buckle.
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4. Your Junior and Senior Prom provide Day Care.
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5. Your mother does not remove the Marlboro Light from her lips before
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telling the State Patrolman to "Kiss her ass."
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6. You have used lard in your bed.
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7. The primary color of your car is Bondo.
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8. The directions to your house include" turn off the paved road."
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9. Your dog and wallet are both on chains.
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10. Your kids are eating biscuits and gravy because you just had to have
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the Yosemite Same mud flaps for your car.
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11. You owe the taxidermist more than your annual income.
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12. You have lost at least one tooth opening a beer bottle.
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13. Jack Daniels makes your list of most admired people.
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14. Your wife's hairdo was created by a ceiling fan.
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15. You see no reason to stop a a Rest Area if you have an empty gallon
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milk jug in the car.
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16. You have a rag for a gas cap.
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17. You dog can't watch you eat without gagging.
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18. You have a Hefty bag on the passenger side window of your car.
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19. You barbecue Spam on the grill.
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20. You have to scratch your sisters name out of the message"For a good
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time call_________".
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21. Your brother-in-law is also your uncle.
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22. Copenhagen Tobacco sends you Christmas cards.
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23. You bought yourself a VCR so you could tape wresting while you're at
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the Unemployment Office.
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24. Your Dad walks you to school because you're both in the same grade.
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25. Your wife has a beer belly and you find it attractive.
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26. You view the upcoming family reunion as a chance to meet girls.
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27. You prominently display the gift you got at Graceland.
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28. Your house doesn't,t have curtains but your truck does.
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29. Your front porch falls in and kills more than three dogs.
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30. You call your boss dude.
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31. You think Volvo is part of a woman's anatomy.
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32. You consider your license plate personalized because your father made
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it.
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33. You have been fired from a construction job because of your
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appearance.
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34. You only need one more punch on your card to a freebie at the "House
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of Tattoos."
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35. Your father encouraged you to quit school as soon as the job on the
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lube rack opened.
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36. You need an estimate at the barber before you get a haircut.
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37. After making love you ask your date to roll down the window.
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By the way, Hustler is trying to get a law passed to put the
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headlight dimmer switches back on the floor of all automobiles....too
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many folks are getting their feet caught in the steering while trying
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to dim their headlights.
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