199 lines
6.8 KiB
Plaintext
199 lines
6.8 KiB
Plaintext
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/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\
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/\/\ /\/\
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/\/\ Durations: /\/\
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/\/\ How Long Things Take /\/\
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/\/\ (revisited) /\/\
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/\/\ Volume I /\/\
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/\/\ Written by: /\/\
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/\/\ Dr. Atomic /\/\
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/\/\ /\/\
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/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\
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Some of the things in this file were taken from the book "Durations:The
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Encyclopedia of How Long Things Take" by Stuart A. Sandow. Others were
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left out of the book for some reason, things that are related to the
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pirate world, so I included them here...
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(This file is basically intended for informational purposes, impressing your
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friends with, or to otherwise trip out on...)
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Call Snark Island Cat-Fur (619) 448-5616
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The Embassy CS/CF (619) 459-6119
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.00000001 of a second
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---------------------
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Flourescence to take place in highly pigmented organic molecules
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The average ware leech on an AE line to decide he will take a certain program
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.000001 of a second
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-------------------
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One hundred successive generations of neutrons to occur producing one billion
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billion fissions
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.000024 of a second
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-------------------
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A TV sweep circuit to produce horizontal light on a screen
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.003 of a second
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----------------
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A computer to lose its data in the event of power failure if data is not stored
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in a central processor
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The average ware leech to find a blank initialized disk
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.01 of a second
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---------------
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The sensation of toothache pain to reach the brain of a cat
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A frif'C i “Š’4€ @ ‚ `- (<28> e@
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Ì H<>W:H C)€Aˆ\‘B H! " @L d `”
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<08>e ÂÂXXXZR€„-)@pp<70>ƒˆO‡ˆ‚ ω€‚ ˆO€‚ ÏŽOˆ„€HO€ ˆOŒ <00>„Ž „OŽ<08>ˆÏŒˆ ˆO„€ ðpðpÀÇÀO€ÏŽO„ ‰ðpÀ@@@@@@@@@@@@@@ppžOˆ„€HO€ ˆO<CB86>€O„ˆ€€Ï<E282AC>€O€€€Ï<>ˆ ˆƒÏŽ<08>ˆÏŒ <00>„Ž ‚ ˆO‰€O<>€Oˆˆ „‚ pp„€ ppðpÀÀπώO„ ‰ðpÀ@@@@@@@@@@@@@pp<70>€O€€O€ ˆO‡Ž ppðpÆO„ ‰ðpÀ@@@@@@@pp˜<70>Ž O<>€O„„ˆ ÏÆGÏ€ˆ„Oˆ„€ O<>ƒˆOŒ <00>ˆÏ€Ï `an explosion
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A phone phreak to hang up after an operator connects with the conference
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he is on
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6 seconds
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-------------
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Most tents to catch fire after exposure to flame
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The average pirate to think of his latest wares
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The average catalog to send with Cat-fur
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18 seconds
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----------
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The number of larcenies committed in the united states to increase by one
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10-20 seconds
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----------
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Male chimpanzees to reach climax after initiating sexual relations
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Male ware leeches to reach climax after booting "Softporn Adventure"
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25 seconds
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----------
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The shortest cycle of a home trash compactor
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30 seconds
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----------
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The metaphase of mitosis in a fruit fly embryo
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Whales and elephants to copulate (not together, of course...)
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34 seconds
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----------
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The number of auto thefts commited in the United States to increase by one
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43 seconds
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----------
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Number of violent crimes (murder, rape, robbery or assault) committed in the
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united states to increase by one
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1 minute
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--------
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Prompt initial radiation to be measureable following a nuclear explosion
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A pneumatic pile driver to sink a sheet piling for a basement foundation
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2 feet through clay and 9 feet through sand
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The heart of a shrew to beat 1,000 times
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The heart of a modem geek to beet 10,000 times when a sysop answers voice
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To fill 340, 16-ounce bottles of Coke at the bottling plant
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A party animal to consume 1 beer after a party has been in progress for
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5 minutes (personal experience)
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1 minute, 33 seconds
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--------------------
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To ride the roller coaster at Excelsior Amusement Park, Lake Minnetonka,
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Minneapolis-St. Paul
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2 minutes
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---------
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The population of California to increase by one
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The maximum duration of copulation between kangaroo rats
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3 minutes
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---------
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To cook a 3-minute egg after the water is boiling
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Dr. Encinitas to finish a sentence
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4 minutes
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---------
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Each of six eating and watering periods a day on an automated chicken ranch
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5 minutes
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---------
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to kill the microorganisms responsible for botulism in canned pears by
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exposing them to temperatures of 115 degrees C
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To feel the somatic effects of LSD after an oral dose
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A marble factory to turn out 1,000 glass marbles
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To be put into a hypnotic trance
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6 minutes
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---------
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To feel the somatic effects of an unmodified Net-Works bulletin board
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6 minutes 34 seconds
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--------------------
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The length of the song "You Won't Change Me" by Black Sabbath
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10 minutes
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----------
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Duration of the first dream after falling asleep
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To declaw a pet
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To get a good connection with Minneapolis-St. Paul
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15 minutes
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----------
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Life span of average phone call to Pirates Bay
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A stripper to lose 36 calories during her act
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Intervals between breaths of a hibernating jumping mouse
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Number of wares of a leech on an AE line to increase by one
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30 minutes
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----------
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Side effects of a toxic dose of iron to manifest themselves after ingestion
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35 minutes
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----------
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A speed reader to read an entire issue of Time or Newsweek
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A ware leech to read this text file at 300 baud, then go back and decide
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he wants to download it
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40 minutes
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----------
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A guest at a cocktail party to consume a drink after the party has been in
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progress for 2 hours (The Wine And Spirits Guide--1974)
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55 minutes
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----------
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A session of psychoanalysis with Sigmund Freud
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1 hour
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------
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Maximum nightly homework given to Russian first-graders
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The population of a keg party to increase by 50
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To regain driving faculties after consumption of each ounce of alcohol
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1 hour 22 minutes
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-----------------
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Total period during which people dream during a night's sleep
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Two Hours
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---------
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Asprin to reach its peak effectiveness in the body
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An average phone conversation with The Spaz
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Three Hours
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-----------
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A Duraflame log to burn
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Time the average modem geek spends on any one AE line
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Four Hours
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----------
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Mimimum nightly homework given by high school teachers
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The lifeless star Cygnus X-3 to rotate around its partner star
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Seven Hours
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-----------
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Average time the Camel Jockey spends on a single conference duriHˆO<CB86>ƒˆO„ "%s£Ž p„fdä # â(X BD 8€ Hx € € h B c<>`”Ä@ ' ‚À „ … <20>" € <20> <00>-€ˆ€²€Â * CBH4" B "@ d*PA €À ‰A&(D‚À a€ L@ †BN‹È Ci°€b ‰ € ØF€ÌM$éA tœ%h EÀN!IÈ0<C388>‚& 2^ÚàêèÊä@àÊä@ÈÂò@PÜÞèÒÜÆØêÈÒÜÎ@èÒÚÊ@æàÊÜè@ÞäÎÂÜÒôÒÜÎ@ÈÒæÖæX@äÊÂÈÒÜÎ@èÐÊ@„ÂæÒÆ@¨êèÞäÒÂØX@ÊèÆ\Rdh@ÐÞêäæZZZZZZZZ¨ÐÊ@àÞàêØÂèÒÞÜ@ÞÌ@¦ÂÜ@ˆÒÊÎÞ@èÞ@ÒÜÆäÊÂæÊ@Äò@b``<14>Þêäæ@àÊä@îÊÊÖ@èÐÂè@àäÞÎäÂÚæ@ÂäÊ@ÄäÞÂÈÆÂæè@ÞìÊä@²êÎÞæØÂìÒÂÜ@èÊØÊìÒæÒÞܨÞ@æÐÊÈ@hairs from the human head
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The maximum amount of time a sysop can spend away from his BBS without
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getting crash attempts, complaints, gripes, bitches, or bizarre messages
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That's it for Volume I...Volume II will probably go from 24 hours to 1 year.
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(out between 24 hours-1 year from now)
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