42 lines
1.3 KiB
Plaintext
42 lines
1.3 KiB
Plaintext
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THERE'S ONLY DECAF IN HELL
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Being a partial list of the things that *are* in hell.
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There's only decaf in hell
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And only coffemate to go in it
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The only bread in hell is white wonderbread without the crust. . . day old
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There's only margarine in hell
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The only vegetable is lima beans
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There are only pepsi products in hell
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Tofu is the only protein source in hell
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The only beer you'll find in hell is Pabst Blue Ribbon. . . warm
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Hell's only candidate is Linden LaRouche
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There *is* a swimming pool in hell . . . closed for the season
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Hell imports its toilet paper from Israel
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The only cartoon you'll see in hell is the Smurfs
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And the only TV series is ALF
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The only book in hell is the driver's ed manual
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There's only Muzak in hell
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The only color in hell is hot pink
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The only instrument in hell is the bagpipes. . . And nobody plays it well
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There are only pennies in hell
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Hell hath only plastic flowers
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There are only automatic transmissions in hell. . .
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And all the drivers are old men with hats
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There are only TRS-80's in hell . . . with membrane keyboards
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There's only one telephone in hell
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There's only fan-fold paper in hell
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The only boardgame in hell is Chutes and Ladders
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The only video game in hell is Pong. . . and it's out of order
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There's only foreplay in hell
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