67 lines
2.5 KiB
Plaintext
67 lines
2.5 KiB
Plaintext
From: owner-humor
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To: Multiple recipients of list HUMOR
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Subject: Fegg!: Intro <very sick humor>
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Date: Saturday, April 09, 1994 9:58AM
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From _Dr. Fegg's Encyclopedia of *All* World Knowledge_
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1974: Terry Jones & Michael Palin
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::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
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=== Introduction to Book ===
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Dr. Fegg's Encyclopaedia of *All* World Knowledge
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[formerly THE NASTY BOOK]
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Dr. BERTRAM X. FEGG G.B.H. (Parkhurst)
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--A living educational legend--
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'Bring the little ones unto me, and I will get
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a good price for them.'
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OTHER BOOKS BY DR. FEGG
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The Bournemouth Killings - An Explanation
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The Bournemouth Toe-Nailings - What Really Happened
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Where I was on the Night of the Twenty-sixth
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Why I have Never Even Been to Bournemouth
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The Bournemouth Killings - Another Version
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Innocent Until Proved Guilty
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Great Alibis of the Twentieth Century
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*For Children*
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The Bournemouth Killings - A Frame-Up
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I-Spy The Police
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PUBLISHER'S FOREWORD
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We should like to take this opportunity of assuring you that there is
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absolutely no truth in the rumour that Dr Fegg has at any time been in
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jail. Dr Fegg's police record is spotless. He has, of course, had the usual
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parking offences, but these are *not criminal offences*; they are only *civil
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misdemeanours*. Dr Fegg has never done 'bird', nor was he in any way
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connected with the petty thefts and larcenies in Brighton three months
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ago, although the circumstances were admittedly rather against him;
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but HE WAS NOT CONVICTED! We want to emphasise that-- and
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don't forget: a man is entirely innocent until he is CONVICTED. And
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he's never even been *charged* with the Bournemouth killings, and
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anyway, they *were* a long time ago.
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We are proud to publish this book. There is no question of us doing it
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because we are 'running scared' or 'don't want to lose any authors in
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nasty accidents' or are afraid of getting our noses 'spread all over our
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faces'. Oh no, we at Methuen are committed to the book, to its author,
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and to his continuing struggle to prove his innocence.
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*Methuen London*
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WARNING
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This book features many of the less savoury aspects of human behaviour.
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But you have been warned. We believe that it is far better we should
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face reality, however horrible, than stick our heads, sand-like, into
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an ostrich. Thank you.
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APOLOGY
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We apologise for making such a mess of the metaphor above. It should,
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of course, read 'than head-first stick sand in an ostrich'. Thank you.
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