186 lines
8.3 KiB
Plaintext
186 lines
8.3 KiB
Plaintext
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L.U.C.I.P.H.E.R.
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presents.....
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_____________________________________________________
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! 1 0 1 !
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! !
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! W A Y S T O A N N O Y A F A S C I S T !
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!_____________________________________________________!
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By The Deth Vegetable
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and
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Lyndon LaRouche
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-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
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1) Tell him his armband is inside-out.
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2) Re-arrange his golf club covers without telling him.
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3) Tell him he has ring-around-the-collar on his brownshirt.
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4) Insult his pit bull.
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5) Shoot his pit bull.
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6) Shoot him.
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7) Slash the tires on his Porsche [note: proper Fascist auto maybe substituted
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here.]
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8) Riot.
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9) Spraypaint FUCK CAPITALISM on his Porsche.
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10) Spraypaint FUCK CAPITALISM AND FUCK COMMUNISM on his Porsche.
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11) Spraypaint FUCK THE WORLD on his Pitt-bull.
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12) Overthrow the government.
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13) Wear a Chineese peasant's blue denim uniform with a button reading I
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SUPPORT THE NATIONAL LIBERATION FRONT.
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14) Learn Russian and speak only Rusian.
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15) Learn Albanian and do like-wise.
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16) Sing the following version of the Marines' Hymn:
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From the balls of Montezuma
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To the whores of Tripoli
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We fight for cunt in battles
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In the air, on land, and sea
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First to fight for boobs and pussy
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And we keep our penes clean
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We are proud to claim the title
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of Whore-Fucking States Marines.
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17) Burn George Bush in effigy.
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18) Burn George Bush in person.
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19) Tattoo FUCK CAPITALISM (in Russian) on his wifes left breast when she isnt
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looking.
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20) Hand out pamphlets saying that says that Ronald Reagan is a Polish Jew and
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the leader of the Communist conspiracy.
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21) Cut his head off.
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22) Assassinate The President.
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23) Assassinate the Governor of New Jersey.
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24) Assassinate Sununu.
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24) Register as a Communist.
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25) Organize an army and march on Washington.
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26) Castrate him.
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27) Castrate his pit-bull.
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28) Castrate George Bush.
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29) Attempt to overthrow the Government of the United States of America by
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force and violence.
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30) Organize you own country and declare war on South Africa.
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31) Call him an anus.
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32) Call him a gonad.
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33) Call George Bush a gonad.
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34) Blow up his Porsche.
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35) Blow up his Pit-bull.
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36) Blow up George Bush.
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37) Give away copies of the Communist Manifesto.
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38) Eat five pounds of beans and lock yourself in a small enclosed area with
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him.
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39) Defy Authority.
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40) Destroy Authority.
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41) Desecrate Hitlers Bunker.
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42) Drop LSD in the Potomac.
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43) Bomb Washington with Chia Pets.
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44) Bomb Washington with SPAM.
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45) Bomb Washington with registered Nurses.
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46) Bomb Washington with a drug dealer named "vinnie".
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47) Citizens arrest the president.
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48) Board the Staten Island ferry, point a toy gun at the pilot and force him
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to sail to Havana. If you are caught, explain that you wanted to just show
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the passengers how bad Castro's Cuba really is.
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49) Fart the pledge of allegiance.
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50) Burn the flag.
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51) Send George Bush a bar of soap and order him to wash his mouth out every
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time he tells a lie.
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52) Skip school.
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53) Picket his house, holding a crucifix and mumbling "pax..pax...pax..."
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54) Issue a public statement saying you hate mom, baseball, apple pie, and
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the flag; but you love to fart.
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55) Wear a t-shirt reading HITLER WAS A WEENIE.
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56) Spray paint MAKE LOVE NOT WAR on his pit-bull.
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57) Tell him to go fuck himself.
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58) Tell him to go fuck himself with a limber dick.
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59) Tell him you are a member of the John Birch Society and that you are i
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investigating reports of him being a pinko.
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60) Wear a t-shirt reading JOE MCARTHY WAS A WEENIE.
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61) Stare him down.
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62) Steal his SS epaulets.
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63) Wear a sweatshirt with a big 69 on it reading THE BEST MIDNIGHT SNACK.
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64) Ask him if he has any papers, because you want to roll a joint.
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65) Set up a private Espionage organization and offer to sell your services to
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the highest bidder. Solicit Bids from all the Communist countries. If the
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FBI objects, respond with a long speech on the superiority of the
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Capitalist system, where all goods and services are sold for the highest
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price. Accuse the FBI agent of being a fuzzy-minded pinko.
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66) Bury him in Lenins tomb.
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67) Bury him in Stalins tomb.
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68) Bury him in Grants tomb.
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69) Simulataneously enroll in orginizations The Ukranian Workers Society, North
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Yugoslav Peoples Assosciation, Hungarian Peasants Club, The John Birch
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Society, and Jews for Jesus.
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70) Ask him "who the hell cares if the trains run on time?".
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71) Get yourself invited to his house for dinner. Bring a gun and a target. At
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an appopriate moment <say..dessert> lean the target against a wall and
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start shooting at it, screaming: KILL THE COMMIES! KILL THE FUCKIN COMMIES!
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72) Take a tour of the White House. Bring a defused hand grenade with you and
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toss it on the floor in front of the highest ranking Bureaucrat you can
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find. Run like hell the other way, shouting "Die, imperialist dog!".
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73) Distribute copies of CHALLENGE <progressive labor movement party newspaper>
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on Wall Street to anyone wearing a suit.
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74) Alternately, try to sell it to them for 10 cents and when refused, reply
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"Oh, your too cheap to spend a dime to find out the truth!"
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75) Enter your local recruiting office. fart. leave.
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76) Enter your local Recruiting office. Pull out a water pistol and spray all
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Military personnel you meet as soon as they turn their backs. When they
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take the pistol away from you (after a lecture) listen intently and
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abashedly and say youre sorry. As soon as the lecturer turns his back on
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you, pull out another water pistol from you pocket and shoot him in the
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back, laughing hysterically.
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77) Pass your own Selective Service Act and draft everyone you meet.
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78) Sing at the top of your lungs:
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Onward Christian soldiers,
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Onward as to war.
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Kill your Christian brothers
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As you've done before.
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79) Enter your local Marine Recruiting office. when asked why you want to join
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the marines, reply "Ive been waiting for a long time for a chance to shoot
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a motherfucken general!"
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80) Take a tour of the White House and offer $1000 to any of the Marine honor
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guards who will spit on the flag and say: "Fuck the imperialist United
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States" three times. If any of them take you up on it, wait until they are
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finished and then tell them that you cant pay him cause that would be
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corrupting him.
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81) Offer to sell the first official you meet your share of the country.
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82) Whenever asked a question answer "FUCK THE WORLD", try to convince
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the rest of the known universe to do the same.
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83) Hang out in front of your local Navy recruiting center wearing a white
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sailor cap and singing "Anchors Aweigh".
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84) Join the Amerikan Nazi Party. Arive in a tutu and slippers carrying a sub-
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machine gun. open fire screaming "DIE DIE DIE!!!!"
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85) Enroll at the School for Marxist Studies.
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86) Enroll at Moscow University.
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87) Just keep on doing what youre doing.
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88) Tell the truth about the wars of the U.S. (i.e. make a speech explaining
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the true character of America's involvement in Vietnam.
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89) Convince him that Hitler is alive and living in the basement of the
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Pentagon, then let his hopes down.
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90) Tattoo FUCK FASCISTS on your chest in letters 6 inchs high.
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91) Tell him your the Popes illegitimate son.
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92) Surround the White House with paid mercenaries and take it over.
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93) Own a Monarchy.
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94) Claim to be a Bloshevik-Socialist-leftwing-jew.
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95) Burn down the Reichstag.
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96) Lead a profligate life: live with a negro; drink; gamble and also swear.
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97) Commit an original sin.
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98) Vote in a foreign election.
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99) Bite him.
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100) Send him a copy of this file.
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101) All of the above.
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/------------------------------------\
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! Call The Works BBS....617-861-8976 !
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! 2500+ Text Files. !
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!------------------------------------!
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! Call Bludgeon Riffola.508-957-6913 !
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! Dedicated to hacking and phreaking !
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\------------------------------------/
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oh yeah, this file inspired by Iskra, and if you see him, dont let him forget
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it.
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