134 lines
5.5 KiB
Plaintext
134 lines
5.5 KiB
Plaintext
F R A N K T A N G
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S E L L B E S T G O O D
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M U S H R O O M !
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All type, big varieties, large and small kind, all grow by soothing
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harp playing. Down in deep cellar grow the best mushroom called Frank Tang.
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Mushroom like very cold very wet very dark. Frank Tang and Frank Tang wife
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live in moisty air to make very best mushroom to sound of harp bacharacket
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by Frank Tang Wife.
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People ask, How good mushrooms Frank Tang? Most people say very good
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like lobster mignon. Why so good? Not just because of cold moisty dark and
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bacharacket by Frank Tang Wife. Big secret is Frank Tang and Frank Tang wife
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nutrient! Best good mushroom need lots best good nutrient. Not cow nutrient,
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not pig, not dog. Dog, cow, pig give bad nutrient. Make bad mushroom.
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Frank Tang and Frank Tang wife nutrient make best kind fast growing.
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D O U B L E W A S H
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Frank Tang best good mushroom double wash so not smell. Some mushroom
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smell very badness like sock corpses before laundry, not Frank Tang mushroom
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because Frank Tang wife wash every best good mushroom two time with no machine.
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By hand, best-fashioned way!
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E A T T H E A L L
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Frank Tang and Frank Tang wife have tough time not eat the all! With
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best good mushroom grow right outside Frank Tang and Frank Tang wife bedroom
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Frank Tang have to order strict no midnight snack to Frank Tang wife!
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V I T A M I N G L O W
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Frank Tang best good mushroom glow at night because of good vitamin
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quantity. Health food person who have eaten Frank Tang best good mushroom
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all say, "Hey Frank, these crunchy with vitamin!" Vitamin very good, very
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strong in Frank Tang mushroom, so mushroom good for sick person, athlete
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person, scuba diving, jog, and fighting. Many disease run off when sick
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person eat Frank Tang mushroom.
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P E O P L E N O D I E
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Some people say big mushroom with spot make you die. No true of
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Frank Tang best good mushroom. Big spot green and red color not poisoning
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not make big hightmare alive in daytime like some mushroom. One man think
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a train eat him after he eat mushroom. This not Frank Tang best good
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mushroom, this other bad mushroom sold by enemy Frank Tang.
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C O N S T A N T G O O D N E S S
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Frank Tang wife eaten over 7,000 Frank Tang best good mushroom
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and never have vomit or nightmare or complaint.
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A S K A R E S T A U R A N T
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If you are in restaurant, be sure to ask, "Only Frank Tang mushroom
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for me and Mrs., please. Other's no good." If no Frank Tang mushroom, say,
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"Get Frank Tang best good mushroom quick or go out of my business."
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S P E C I A L B A R G A I N
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If you are opening mushroom fast takeout, cal Frank Tang to supply
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you best good mushroom at discount. Many Americans turning to mushroom
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as they as a best cheap food, and would enjoy the idea of takeout mushroom,
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especially Frank Tang best good mushroom! Get a heading start on this idea
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before you are out-jumped by savvy buisnessmen.
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P E R F E C T P R E S E N T S
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When a person unwrap a big variety Frank Tank mushroom on a birth
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anniversary they are joyed up completely. Buy lots of them and give them
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as present on most occasions, you will be amazed truly enough!
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[---------------------------------------------------------------------------]
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| P H O N E F R A N K T A N G H O U S E |
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| F R A N K T A N G W I F E B I C Y C L E - D E L I V E R |
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| 5 5 5 - 4 0 7 0 |
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[---------------------------------------------------------------------------]
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-- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -
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| FRANK TANG *** |
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BEST GOOD ***#*** Dept. Only
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| MUSHROOM * 45 Rock Street |
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** Downtown
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Yes, Mr Frank Tang, have Frank Tang wife send, or
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| Bicycle over, _________ dozen big Frank Tang Best |
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Good Mushroom. I pay 10 cent each.
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Name____________________________________________
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| Where live______________________________________ |
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What time send__________________________________
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-- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -
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Copyright October 1982
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National Lampoon
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~~~~~~ ~~~~~~ ~~~~~~
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The Utterly Monstrous, Mind Roasting Summer of
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O.C and Stiggs.
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X-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-X
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Another file downloaded from: NIRVANAnet(tm)
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& the Temple of the Screaming Electron Jeff Hunter 510-935-5845
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Rat Head Ratsnatcher 510-524-3649
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Burn This Flag Zardoz 408-363-9766
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realitycheck Poindexter Fortran 415-567-7043
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Lies Unlimited Mick Freen 415-583-4102
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Specializing in conversations, obscure information, high explosives,
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arcane knowledge, political extremism, diversive sexuality,
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insane speculation, and wild rumours. ALL-TEXT BBS SYSTEMS.
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Full access for first-time callers. We don't want to know who you are,
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where you live, or what your phone number is. We are not Big Brother.
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"Raw Data for Raw Nerves"
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