90 lines
3.0 KiB
Plaintext
90 lines
3.0 KiB
Plaintext
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What the Doctor says
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What the Doctor really means
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"This should be taken care of right away."
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"I'd planned a trip to Hawaii next month but this is so easy and
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profitable that I want to fix it before it curse itself."
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"Welllllll, what have we here..."
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Since he hasn't the foggiest notion of what it is, the Doctor is
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hoping you will give him a clue.
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"We'll see."
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"First I have to check my malpractice insurance."
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"Let me check your medical history."
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"I want to see if you've paid your last bill before spending any
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more time with you."
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"Why don't we make another appointment later in the week."
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"I'm playing golf this afternoon, and this will take too long."
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-or-
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"I need the money, so I'm charging you for another office visit."
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"I really can't recommend seeing a chiropractor."
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"I hate those guys mooching in on our fees."
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"Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm."
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Since he hasn't the faintest idea of what to do, he is trying to
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appear thoughtful while hoping the nurse will interrupt.
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(Proctologist also say this alot.)
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"We have some good news and some bad news."
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The good news is he's going to buy that new BMW, and the bad news
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is you're going to pay for it.
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"Let's see how it develops."
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"Maybe in a few days it will grow into something that can be cured."
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"Let me schedule you for some tests."
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"I have a 40% intrest in the lab."
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"I'd like to have my associate look at you."
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"He's going through a messy divorce and owes me a small fortune."
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"How are we today?"
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"I feel great. You, on the other hand, look like hell."
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"I'd like to prescribe a new drug."
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"I'm writing a paper and would like to use you for a guinea."
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"If it doesn't clear up in a week, give me a call."
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"I don't know what the hell it is. Maybe it will go away by itself."
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"That's quite a nasty looking wound."
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"I think I'm going to throw up."
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"This may smart a little."
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"Last week two patients bit through thier tongues."
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"Well, we're not feeling so well today, are we?"
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"I can't remember your name, nor why you are here."
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"This should fix you up."
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"The drug salesman guaranteed that it kills all symptoms."
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"Everything seems to be normal."
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"I guess I can't buy that new beach condo after all."
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"I'd like to run some more tests."
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"I can't figure out what's wrong. Maybe the kid in the lab can
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solve this one."
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"Do you suppose all of this stress could be affecting your nerves?"
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He thinks you are crazy and is hoping to find a psychiatrist
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who will split fees.
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"Why don't you slip out of your things."
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"I don't enjoy this any more than you do, but I've got to warm
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my fingers up somehow."
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-or-
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"I haven't had a good laugh all day."
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"If those symptoms persist, call for an appointment."
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"I've never heard of anything so disgusting. Thank God I'm off
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next week."
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"There is a lot of that going around."
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"My God, thats the third one this week. I'd better learn something
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about this." |