212 lines
9.5 KiB
Plaintext
212 lines
9.5 KiB
Plaintext
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xxxxxxxxxx xxxx xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
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xxxxxxxxxxxxxx xxxx xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
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xxxx xxxx xxxx xxxx
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xxxx xxxx xxxx xxxx
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xxxx xxxx xxxxxxxxxxx
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xxxx xxxx xxxxxxxxxxx
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xxxxxxxxxxxx xxxx xxxx
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xxxxxxxxxxxx xxxx xxxx
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xxxx xxxx xxxx
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xxxx xxxx xxxx xxxx
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xxxxxxxxxxxxxx xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx xxxx
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xxxxxxxxxx x xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx x xxxx x
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SmurF LiberatioN FronT
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presents:
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===========================================
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\ tH3 SlF k0ffe f1Le /
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/ \
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\ by /
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/ Lithium Clown \
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\ /
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/ (Just for all you speed phreaks \
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\ out there...) /
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/ \
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===========================================
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|/| 0 t 3 : The name Lithium Clown is not supposed to mean anything. Except
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that I'm currently on lithium. And needed to change my name. The name Agent
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Orange, I knew, would inevitably turn up on some other board or textfile I'd
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never called/written. It did, twice, and I decided it was time for an abrupt
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non-generic name change.....
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Nothing's permanant, but Agent 0range of 916 and the SlF is now Lithium
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Clown..as if anyone cares. 0k.?
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PART 1: Coffee? That stuff tastes nasty!!
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------------------------------------------
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Fuck you. Coffee is easily the greatest liquid substance on this planet. Yes,
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I understand that when you have coffee the first couple of times, there seems
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to be little if any point. However, looking beyond the initially unpleasant
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taste, we find coffee can be very benificial for the same reasons speed
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(methamphetamines) are; you get WiReD!! And getting wired is phun..
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The first time you begin to nervously chew your fingernails off, rapidly tap
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your feet up and down on the floor, run around, impersonate your favorite
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punk rock vocalist, and otherwise be wired, makes the taste of coffee
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something pleasant henceforth...
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This being cleared up, we can go on with the rest of the file, which is a
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compilation of recipes, ideas, stories, message captures, and pretty much
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a tribute to liquid caffinated bean beverages....
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PART 2: The Recipes...
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-----------------------
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First of all, don't expect to get wired off of one lightly sweetened cup of
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mild coffee, a dash of creamer, and some NutriSweet ....
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Regular-Wake-Up-In-The-Morning-Go-To-School-On-4-Hours-Of-Sleep-Hot-Coffee:
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I use instant. I don't have a lot of time in the morning, or any other time
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of the day. So, when you wake up, it's cold out, and you wanna be warm and
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awake, try this; Mix roughly 3 - 4 hEaPiNG teaspoons of insant coffee into
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your cup. Get some sugar and pour it in until it's almost up to the bottom of
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the handle on the inside. Now, fill the rest with water. Microwave until
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steaming hot. For some reason, drinking this or any coffee recipe fast seems
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to get you more wired..
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Neato-Wake-Up-At-2:00-In-The-Afternoon-Partied-Out-Help-Me-Quick-Coffee:
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It's not always, because of the temperature or time of day, that much fun to
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drink hot coffee. Here's a bunch of my favorite iced coffee recipes...
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1. If you're using instant, make up a cup of 3 - 4 spoonfull coffee. Pour in
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about twice as much sugar. Instead of water, pour in cold milk. Mix it up.
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This is the easiest, simplest - and believe it or not, good tasting - coffee
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recipe for warm days. If you prefer regular coffee (well who doesn't, but if
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you prefer it over instant enough to actually go through the trouble of
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making it every time), just make some up REALLY REALLY thick. We're talking
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some serious sludge here...This should be rememberd for all the following
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recipes, as well.
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2. Get some ice cream. Vanilla should do. Chocolate would probably work. You
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can get adventurous with like, Mocha Almond Fudge Strawberry, etc. if you
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want. Anyway, get about half a cup full of your ice cream. If it's really
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solid, mash it up with a spoon for awhile. Make some serious sludge coffee,
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with instant or non, i mean SeRi0uS sludge this time, and mix it in with half
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milk. Pour this to the top of your coffee mug, and stir until your sludge,
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ice cream, and milk have all mixed properly. Drink.
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3. Mix about half your cup with Coca-Cola, and the other half iced coffee.
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Alternativley, you could make root beer or Coca-Cola floats and mix half of
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that with half coffee...
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4. Get crushed ice. Either get some ice cubes and put them in the blender, or
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wrap them up in a cloth and pretend like those cubes are the inside of the
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head of a local law enforcement official. Once you have sufficiently
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annhilated your ice into tiny shards, conragulate yourself. Get some
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chocolate syrup and squirt lines of it around the outside of your cup in a
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kinda pretty spiral design. Dump your crushed ice in until it fills up a
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little less than 3/4 of the cup. Now, take a bit of coffee made from the
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first recipe (cold milk and coffee), and put it into the cup of ice until
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it's full. This one, I admit, came from a local coffee shop....but it's
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worth trying.
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5. Take roughly two teaspoons of instant coffee, drop about 1 1/2 teaspoons
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of chocolate milk mix, and mix the rest with cold milk. Stir well. Yummy.
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6. There is no reason, of course, to be sane. If you have the materials, the
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sense of adventure, and the willingness to live on the edge for a few years
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and simply not wake up one morning; experiment. Why not mix ALL these recipes
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into one?? What wouldn't be good about a root beer float - instant coffee -
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crushed ice - chocolate syrup - coca-cola - cold milk - chocolate mix coffee
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drink ... personally, I wanna try it..
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PART 3: The Ascii Graphics
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--------------------------
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WiReD tWeNtY f0uR h0uRs A dAy SeVeN dAyS a WeEk
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NoThInG bUt CoFfEe AnD cIgArEtTeS t0 kEeP y0u
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AlIvE lIv ___________________InG oN tHe LiNe A
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PeRmAn / \AnTlY cAfFiEne
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AlTeReD| \nEt JuNkIe WiTh
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NoThIn|\ /|G t___0 lIvE
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FoR aNd| \-------------------/ |E/ __ \vErY r
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EaSoN | | /iN | |tHe
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WoRlD t| |/0 aBu| |Se YoUr
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BoDy W| |hIlE y| |0u StIlL
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HaVe tH| |e ChAn| |Ce To
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LiVe S| |_____/ |uRfInG
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ThE cAf| |_______/FiEnE
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EdGe W| |aItInG f0r tHe
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DaY wHeN\_______________________/y0u WaKe Up AnD
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ReAlIzE y0u'Ve BeEn WiReD oNe ToO mAnY tImEs
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AnD tHe TeRm LiVe FaSt DiE yOuNg Is TaKiNg On A
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WhOlE nEw MeAnInG lIkE yOu KnEw It WoUlD
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!!!!!!!!!!!DEATH BY CAFFIENE OVERDOSE!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Part 4: In Closing
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------------------
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0ddly enough, I feel like putting a disclaimer at the end of this file..
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So, allthough I strongly encourage you to abuse caffiene regardless of the
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consequences to your mental or physical state, it's your descision. I can't
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take responsibility for heart attacks, mental collapse, or whatever else
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happens to you with these recipes. This file primarily is for entertainment
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purposes, and these recipes can be pretty good used in moderation. So, fuck
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you if you fuck up and kill yourself. That's your responsibility. Not mine.
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Got it??
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0k. Hate to be mean. Have a nice life....
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Call These Other Great SLF Boards:
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-------------------------------------------------------------------------
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| Discordian Casualties (WHQ) 916/478-0436 Lithium Clown |
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| flAMiNG NAkEd jUjU bEE (9:00pm-10:00am) 916/477-2312 Terminal Junkie |
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| FutureShock 916/265-SOON Ganja Man |
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-------------------------------------------------------------------------
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(c)1993 SLF Productions Inc.
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X-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-X
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Another file downloaded from: NIRVANAnet(tm)
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& the Temple of the Screaming Electron Jeff Hunter 510-935-5845
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Burn This Flag Zardoz 408-363-9766
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realitycheck Poindexter Fortran 510-527-1662
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Lies Unlimited Mick Freen 801-278-2699
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New Dork Sublime Demented Pimiento 415-864-DORK
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The Shrine Tom Joseph 408-747-0778
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"Raw Data for Raw Nerves"
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X-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-X
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