textfiles/humor/calculus.txt

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The setting is Ohio State University about six or seven years ago
in a huge lecture hall (approximately 1000 students) for a Calculus
final. Apparently this particular calculus teacher wasn't very well
liked. He was one of those guys who would
stand at the front of the class and yell out how much time was remaining
before the end of a test, a real charmer. Since he was so busy galavanting
around the room making sure that nobody cheated and that everyone was aware
of how much time they had left before their failure of the test was complete,
he had the students stack the completed tests on the huge podium at the
front of the room. This made for quite a mess, remember there were 1000
students in the class.
Anyway, during this particular final, one guy entered the test needing a
decent grade to pass the class. His only problem with Calculus was that he
did poorly when rushed, and this ass standing in the front of the room
barking out how much time was left before the tests had to be handed in
didn't help him at all. He figured he wanted to assure himself of a good
grade, so he hardly flinched when the professor said "pencils down and
submit your scan-tron sheets and work to piles at the front of the room".
Five minutes turned into ten, ten into twenty, twenty into forty...almost
an hour after the test was "officially over", our friend finally put down
his pencil, gathered up his work, and headed to the front of the hall to
submit his final. The whole time, the professor sat at the front of the
room, strangely waiting for the student to complete his exam.
"What do you think you're doing?" the professor asked as the student stood
in front of him about to put down his exam on one of the neatly stacked
piles of exams (the professor had plenty of time to stack the mountain of
papers while he waited) It was clear that the professor had waited only to
give the student a hard time.
"Turning in my exam," retorted the student confidently.
"I'm afraid I have some bad news for you," the professor gloated, "Your
exam is an hour late. You've FAILED it and, consequently, I'll see you next
term when you repeat my course."
The student smiled slyly and asked the professor "Do you know who I am?"
"What?" replied the professor gruffly, annoyed that the student showed no
sign of emotion.
The student rephrased the question mockingly, "Do you know what my name is?
"NO", snarled the professor.
The student looked the professor dead in the eyes and said
slowly, "I didn't think so", as he lifted up one of the stacks
half way, shoved his test neatly into the center of the stack, let the stack
fall burying his test in the middle, turned around and walked casually out
of the huge lecture hall.