82 lines
3.8 KiB
Plaintext
82 lines
3.8 KiB
Plaintext
---------------------------------------
|
||
Beaver - Gone Bad!!
|
||
---------------------
|
||
A mini-manuscript by Pete Stocton and Baron Von Crash.
|
||
|
||
Scene ONE:
|
||
Wally and Beaver in bed, lights out.
|
||
|
||
Beaver: Hey Wally....
|
||
Wally: Yea Beave?
|
||
Beaver: How come is it there's a green lady with red spots dancing on my face?
|
||
Wally: Gee Beave...Are you screwed up AGAIN??
|
||
Beaver: Yea, I guess I kinda ate some purple microdots and junk....
|
||
Wally: Aw heck, Beave, that's just about the worst thing a guy could do.
|
||
Beaver: Yea, I guess a sorta got carr- Hey Wally! Cut that out! Stay in focus!!
|
||
Wally: I ain't doin' nothin'. Boy are you gonna get it when Mom and Dad find
|
||
out!
|
||
Beaver: [(Sounds like...)Editors' note...] Crocka locka fishwife, pornographic
|
||
priestesses!!
|
||
Wally: Y'know, Beave, that stuff causes brain damage and stuff...
|
||
Beaver: Aw gee...I know that, but Wally....Huh huh...Golly Wally, Wally, huh...
|
||
(Beaver explodes into uncontrollable laughter...)
|
||
Wally: Aw C'mon, Beave, let a guy get some sleep, will ya?
|
||
(Pause)
|
||
Beaver: Hey Wally...
|
||
Wally: What is it NOW, Beave?
|
||
Beaver: D'ya think Eddie Haskel has some kinda phallic fixation on account of
|
||
him always bein' nice to Mom? Mabye it's kinda indicative of some type
|
||
of Oedepial hangup or somethin'.
|
||
Wally: Aw, heck no Beave, Freud's a creep.
|
||
Beaver: Yeah, I guess so. Hey Wally, D'ya think Mom snapped to that flashback
|
||
I had at supper?
|
||
Wally: Well, Gee Beave...Worms in the butter and all, that's pretty wierd.
|
||
Beaver: Yeah, I guess so. Hey Wally, D'ya think I'm gonna go to jail and all?
|
||
Wally: Heck yea, Beave. Everybody knows that you're gonna end up a chemical
|
||
waste dump and mug old ladies and junk.
|
||
Beaver: Gee, Wally, D'ya think that Mom and Dad won't let me play baseball
|
||
anymore if I get busted?
|
||
Wally: Heck, Beave, You'll go to jail and everything...Y'know, the Big House.
|
||
Beaver: Gee Wally, D'ya think it's gonna be tough?
|
||
Wally: Aw heck, Beave, they'll pass you around for a pack of smokes.
|
||
Beaver: Gee, Wally, I sure don't want to be no kind of sexual plaything or
|
||
nothin' creepy like that...
|
||
(Wally makes wierd noises)
|
||
Beaver: Whad'ja say, Wally?
|
||
Wally: I didn't say nothin', Beave, you're still trippin hard.
|
||
Beaver: Yeah, I guess so.
|
||
(Wally makes wierd noises again)
|
||
Beaver: Wally, Did you just hear anything? Wally? Wally!!?!
|
||
Wally: Heck no, Beave, go to sleep.
|
||
Beaver: Wally!! Laughing fish are eating our furniture!! And Giant electric
|
||
space babies!!
|
||
Wally: Cut it out, Beave, your'e just having a bum trip.
|
||
Beaver: Hey Wally, Mom's gonna come in here and ask me a bunch of wierd
|
||
questions and junk. I just know it. And then she's gonna ask me a
|
||
bunch more questions and look in my eyes.
|
||
Wally: Calm down, Beave. Mom and Dad are asleep. Your'e just paranoid, that's
|
||
all. So just go to sleep.
|
||
Beaver: Ok. G'night, Wally..
|
||
Wally: G'night, Beave.
|
||
(time passes)
|
||
Beaver: Uh..Wally?
|
||
Wally: WHAT NOW, Beaver??
|
||
Beaver: Uh...I guess I kinds ate a couplea boxes of No-Doze and junk....
|
||
Wally: "...."
|
||
Beaver: Wally? Wally? Wally!?!??
|
||
|
||
The End.......?
|
||
|
||
|
||
Editor's note: Theodore Cleaver, I.E. "The Beaver", is now doing time for
|
||
trafficking narcotics and first degree murder for "murder by blathering". He
|
||
was passed around his cell the evening of his arrest for a pack of smokes.
|
||
|
||
B.V.C. '85 a fIFTH dIMENSION dELUSION pRODUCTION, iNC.
|
||
|
||
---------------------------------------
|
||
[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]
|
||
The Fifth Precinct..[502] 245-8270
|
||
[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]
|
||
Call The Works BBS - 1600+ Textfiles! - [914]/238-8195 - 300/1200 - Always Open
|
||
|