93 lines
4.7 KiB
Plaintext
93 lines
4.7 KiB
Plaintext
Sure, everyone has heard of him. On television, radio, and his apperance is
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on just about everything. He came out of no where,apearing on public
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television,and then became a legend.
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This object of childs fantasies and passion is all to familiar with
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us. The grin,the face,the howling laughing of a madman. The Purple hue
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of.... BARNEY!
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-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
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+-C-H-A-M-E-L-E-O-N--P-R-I-M-E-+
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| in participation with |
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+---------=Spiral Works=-------+
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presents
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\ /\ \ \ | \ \ /
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| \ / \ | \ | \ | | \ \ /
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| \ / \ | \ | \ | | \ \ /
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| / /______\ | / | \ | |__ \ /
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| \ / \ | / | \ | | |
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| / / \ | \ | \ | | / |
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| / / \ | \ | \| | / |
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/ /
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+-------- C H R O N I C L E S --------+
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| VOL. 1 | "Barney: Opium to the masses." | ISSUE 1 |
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-------+-----------+--------------------------------+------------+-------------
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Barney.
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One word. A very simple word. Yet,when this word is spoken to a child,
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something clicks.Something very odd is going on today in T.V. land.....
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--------------------------
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Barney:the Devil Incarnate
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__________________________
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Barney is a demon. Pure and simple. Just look at this: No man in
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a suit could do the wide range of things Barney can do. It's Hellish in
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nature,no doubt about it. I beleve that his show is actually a fiendish
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plot to take over the world by starting with the younger generation.
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Think of it,the evidence stands out. The show has four or more
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little geeks of all creeds and colors,none are left out. This is because
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children are more receptable to kids like them. This way, Barney can trap
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all the children who accidently glance to his show.
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Next chance you have,watch the show,making sure you have turned the
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volume compleatly off. This is for two reasons
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1. You never want to hear his horrible devilish voice!
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It is all that is needed to turn you into a mindless,,
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drooling slave of the horry netherworld.
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2. It would be pretty embarasing if someone heard you
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listioning to Barney!
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Now,just watch. See him flap his arms and preform satanic rituals with
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the children? It's unnatural. He is able to jump up, click his heels,
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while he waves his arms and blink his eyes. You would probally have problems
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doing that without a heavy purple suit on. Now,if you stare closly, you might
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be able to see some awfull, scary things.
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1. This power of immagination. Looks mighty powerfull,
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doesn't it? The kids are never startled when this doll
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transforms into Barney at all!
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2. Ritual dances. You might be able to se the pentagram
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shape the children march in with barney.
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__________________________________
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What do I do if I ever see Barney?
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1. Never,ever stare into his eyes. You shall be his if you do.
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2. Never repeat the horrible "Death Mantra"
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(I love you,you love....)
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Even if you are just kidding around. Played backwards on
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a 35 revolution turn-table, the mantra go's something like this:
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"asadeaaresKill your parentsrdrdssWorship Satanaeexsadde
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deadwdewwddwdLong live mephistopholesdsdccxsxsqsxqKill
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your dogasdtgdgfsdsdwagbthuytasdsa"
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Did you hear it? I sure did! This song blatently has hidden
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messages in it.
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3. If you ever see Barney in his doll form,never hesitate to
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attempt to destroy it. This is when he is at his weakest.
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4. Spread the truth about Barney.
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_____________________________________________________________________________
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This is just an opener to the saga of Barney. Hopefully I should be able to
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get writers and "eye-witness" accounts of the horrible feats of the rotten
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sum of Hell called Barney.
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*******NEXT ISSUE: Barney,An Alien?
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Twinkies,Ambrosia Of The GODS?
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and What I did on my Summer Vacation.
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(c) Chameleon Prime of Spiral Works...
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all rights spayed and nutered.
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