302 lines
13 KiB
Plaintext
302 lines
13 KiB
Plaintext
L-S> StartSStop <SPACE> Exit)
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<=- From the Haunted Library-=>
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]] THE HAUNTED HOUSE [[ -- 415994177256
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View: THE SOCIETY OF LEECHES
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[-] [-] [-] [-] [-] [-] [-] [-] [-] [-] [-] [-] [-] [-] [-] [-] [-] [-] [-]
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[-] The Society of "Leeches" in the Telecommunications World [-]
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[-] Scribed by: Mister IOO [-]
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[-] [-]
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[-] The Restaurant at the End of the Universe............(609)-921-1994 [-]
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[-] The Beach............................................(201)-892-8172 [-]
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[-] [-] [-] [-] [-] [-] [-] [-] [-] [-] [-] [-] [-] [-] [-] [-] [-] [-] [-]
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leech (lech) n. 1.Any of various aquatic bloodsucking worms, of wich one
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species was formerly used by physicians to bleed patients. 2.One who preys
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on or lives off others. 3.One who takes, but does not give. [< OE leac]
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Many of you are familiar with "The Real Pirate" volumes 1-4, but some
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still say we have 5 of them. Most of wich are "Bogus" copies, or immitations
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of the original. You also have most likely seen "What Assholes Do", and
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"AE Assholes", from the Neon Knights.
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This will reveal the "Society" of where these little pricks..."Leeches"...
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come from, and hang out. And what YOUR rank in here is, that is, if you
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are a leech. This society is almost like the setup of your worst dreaded
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"Elite Group", at your local Net-Works II BBS system. If I offend anyone,
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well, then my friend you are a true leech.
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Their society is set up like a desperate fight to the top. Where they want
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to get higher ranks, the Moles will fight like hell to become an AE Leech.
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And the people who have higher ranks will try and make you think they
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are cool, while spitting on the lower "Leeches", and calling them names, and
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threats to "Kick their asses!!!!!", threw E-Mail. And the dead give away
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is that they either spell their handle wrong, or they can't spell "PUSSY"
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correctly, when calling names. They try "PUSSEY", "PUSSIE", "PUSSE", and
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after a long time get so exasperated, they say "PUSS". One last note,
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before the society chart, they will always spell "A LOT" as "ALOT".
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The society of Leeches is like this:
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Supreme Leeches
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AE Leeches BBS Leeches Assholes
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Un-Real Pirates Melvins But-Fucks Homos
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\ \
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11 Year-Old Sysops Fensters Urchins Flaming BFs Flaming Homos
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Moles Piss Heads Quibes Pricks
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\
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Slimes Scums 9 Year-Olds
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\
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Narks Morons 90 Year-Olds
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\ \
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Goofs Peons Hose Heads
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\
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Volkswagon "Buggy" Drivers LOGO Programmers
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As you can see, there are many types, and formes of leeches, the
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Supreme Leech is the highest rank amung the leech society, and no matter
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how you look at it, a LOGO Programmer is the lowest life form that could
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ever live. Several years ago, that place used to be "Analog Computer
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Owners", but they were over taken by the "LOGO Programmers".
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You can measure a leeches "Lechosity Factor" in equations. These
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equations work on any example of a leech, these equations can be also
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applied to Assholes.
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Letters typed per minute
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------------------------------- = Molarity
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Spelling mistakes per paragraph
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Times it says "FUCK" in insult letters
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--------------------------------------- = Ignorance Quotient
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Times it uses multiple "!" after a verb
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Times it uses "U" for "you" per paragraph
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------------------------------------------ = Grey Cell Count
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Times it uses "4" for "for" per paragraph
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Leeches have their own type of linguistics, telling each other they
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are better then the other. And to not "MESS" with them, or they shall
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"KICK YOUR FUCKING ASS!!!!". For example, their numbering system:
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I = 1
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][ = 2
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// or ]I[ = 3
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IV = 4
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From then "IV" on, they use normal Arabic numerals, or even invent
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their own ways of numbering, such as "FV"=5, "SX"=6, and "ATE"=8.
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Leeches also have their own types of sayings like:
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K-K00L - Refering to how much they like somthing, like "K-K00L WAREZ!"
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WAREZ - Refering to their new software games
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2 - Refering to the word "TWO", "TO", and "TOO"
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4 - Refering to the word "FOR" or "FOUR", but they will usually use "IV"
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L8TR - Telling the person that they will see him at a later date
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C00L - A mellow leech, who has'nt cought onto the saying "K-K00L" yet
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RAD - Refering to how interesting, or neat somthing is, like "RAD-WAREZ"
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HACKZ - Refering to the latest MCI access codes, because they used theirs up
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KRACK - Somthing they can't do, however, they say they can, that is DOS BOSS
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DUDEZ - Refering to the plural form of "DUDE", which means no god damn thing!
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"!!!!" - Expressing an action. Like "FUCK U!!!!!!!". No less then five "!"'s
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Leeches have been known to tie their sayings together, like
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"K-K00L RAD WAREZ!!!!!", this ties four of thier sayings together at once.
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That is yet another way they show off their rank in th society, in the never
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ending struggle to become "Supreme Leech".
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Where do leeches come from? They come pretty much from Connecticut,
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New York, and New Jersey. With New York, and Connecticut being the worst
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of all areas for "Leech" infestation. I am not saying all people from
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those areas are leeches, most of the best BBS' are located in New York.
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This does not mean they are confined to these areas. Leeches are a wide
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spread species, and come from all over the US, even from Montana.
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The leeches will always cause such things as:
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Making the local Greene Machine TRS-80 BBS be busy from 3:30 PM to 10:30
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PM. Why? Because thats the time when they get home from school, and the
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time they go to bed with their Teddy Bear, and play "Smack Dong".
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Making the AE lines busy. They make the AE lines busy, they call when
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they get home, they call from school, they call in the morning, they call
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Friday nights, they call on the weekends (24 Hours a day). They call from
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the dead of night to get one thing "K-K00L WAREZ". Never uploading.
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Making MCI extenders busy 24 hours a day. Especially when they get home
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from school, they get some milk and cookies, and start phreaking local calls
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to the Net-Works II hangout.
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You can find these little guys on all Net-Works II BBS systems. No
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T-Net systems, because they can't handle 100 lines, and 80 columns to
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post messages with. I personally can say "ALL" Net-Works II BBS systems.
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Some might be worse then others, but all have them.
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How can you find one? You can find them by going to the Trading board,
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and look for such titles as "NEW WAEZ!!!", "*APPLE TRADE*", or
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"<*> C00L N-WAREZ <*>". Once you locate such a title, read the bulletin,
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you will see somthing like this:
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BULLETIN #69
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TITLE: /---APPLE TRADEZ--/
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POSTED BY: LORD SAURON
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DATE POSTED : 1225885
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ANY OF U DUDEZ WANT 2 TRADE 4 SOME
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C00L NEW WAREZ? I HAVE SEVEREL NEW
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ONEZ:
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RESCUE RAIDERS
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KARATEKA
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PIT-STOP ][
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NEWSROOM <-- OK
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SPACE SHUTTLE
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ARCHON ][
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I AM GETTING SOME NEW 1'Z SOON, FROM
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MY FRIEND IN CALIFORNIA. SO LOOK 4
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MORE SOON.
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LEAVE E-MAIL 2:
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F) LORD
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L) SAURON
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P.S.- DOES ANYONE HAVE DUNG BEATLES
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YET?
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L8TR
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/-------LORD SAURON------/
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ELECTORO ELITE
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PRES. OF MAP
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What gives this man (If I could be so descript) away from the start?
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First, "Lord Sauron", sounds like some ruler from Europe during the 13th
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century. First line, he uses the words "YOU" as "U", and "TO" as "2",
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and "4" for "FOR". His then uses "0" for "O" in the second sentence, in
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describing how cold his new software is. He uses the term "WAREZ" in
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meaning software diskettes. Misspells "SEVERAL" as "SEVEREL", then
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uses a "Z" for a "S" in "ONES". Then lists out all of his "C00L NEW WAREZ"
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in a well organized list, and makes a comment about one. Then Lord Sauron
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uses "1'Z" for the word "ONES", trying to fool us with his quick wit. As
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always, he will go into how he has connections in California. If every
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leech I have seen use this message actually has a relative in Califoria,
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California would be one huge leech pile. Lord Sauron then
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tells us what his first and last name is, as if we can not split it
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our selves. (Notice he does this every place he goes, even T-Net systems,
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where you don't have to split a person's name. Assuming all BBS' are
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run on Net-Works II, where you have to split names). He then blows all
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of us away with "Does any one have dung beatles?", because that was
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released in what? 1979?. Lord Sauron again shows us his quick wit, in
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combining numbers with letters, and says "L8TR", meaning of course "LATER",
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in refering to a future act. Now our old Lord Sauron is getting tired
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of typing, he has been going at it for atleast 25 minutes now. He signs
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off, using text graphics, and telling us two associations he belongs too.
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"Electoro Elite", and "President of MAP".
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What goes on in this poor fellows mind. Does he think we actually
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care what group, if any, he belongs to? Does he think we will kiss his
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feet, because he uses (as the leeches say) "K-K00L T-GRAPHS" when signing
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all of his letters? Lord Sauron is definately a "Net-Works II Rat", he
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seperates his name into two words for you, he types in all UPPER case, and
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has a logic seaker built in that tells him, when he hits 40 columns, he has
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to hit carriage return, or he will not see his typing.
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Lord Sauron made a total of 22 errors in his message for traders. And
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22 is a small number, compared to the Suprem Leeches. Who can wing about
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30 or 40 errors in a message.
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On the other hand, leeches don't always post, they just read. These
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are the wimpy leeches, and the real mental midgets of the leech society.
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Then comes the stupid shit leech, who wonders why he can't download
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the latest "K-K00L WARE" from a CAT-SEND line, using Smartcom 1, and a
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Hayes Micro Modem IIe.
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Of course, we have smart leeches, who read books like, "The Third
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Rich", and "Websters Dictionary". The smart ones always back up such
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software as Dung Beatles.
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We have the scum variety of leeches who think that is they get enough
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dirt on them, they can look like an India, and take a magic marker to their
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fore-head, and put a black mark. So they can really look like an Indian.
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We have the Mole variety of leeches, who are afraid of people's
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dogs, cat, birds, and fish.
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We have the nervous, and jerky leeches, who will be so tense, that
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if somthing goes wrong, their heads will split in half!
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The society of leeches is an never ending story. We have so many
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types of leeches. Some day these little guys will grow up, and run our
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nation. Take Walter Mondale for instance, if he was a computer user,
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would he be considered a leeaH~bUEkeA8KMit in another way,
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does a cow shit in a field?
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I leave you on two very famous quotes from Supreme Leeches:
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"Who is on Milliways? I bet it's a leech!!! He Yuk..He Yuk..He Yuk..."
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"Don't call us, we will call you!"
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I would personally like to thank [><] for some help, and
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The Vigilante for his input, however small it may have been, I am
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still thankfull.
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"Remember that guy at the party?" - MIO
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Look for more Milliways
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productions, from your friends at
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The Restaurant at the End of
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the Universe!
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(609)-921-1994
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Mister IOO -No Leeches!-
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-----------
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The "Leech" Killer
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Kill Leeches on Contact!
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------------------------
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The Leech Killer
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(n)o copyright!, 1985
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Leech Burners Inc.
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-MIO-
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(>
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[Time: 01]
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Less than 5 minutes left
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Miscelleeeeee
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