312 lines
11 KiB
Plaintext
312 lines
11 KiB
Plaintext
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-=THE COMPLEAT COMPUTER NERD DICTIONARY=-
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-=By The Quartz=-
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(C) 1985 DEGPUG TEXT FILES
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REVISION 2.0 - OCTOBER
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-----------------------------------
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CALL THE HAUNTED HOUSE 415-941-7256
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-----------------------------------
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INTRODUCTION: I am not a computer nerd and neither are you. We
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rarley see many computer nerds on the cool bbs's and if we
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do maybe they're checking out the 'programming boards'
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and using their real names. But there is a much
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broader character to which that a computer nerd really is. A
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computer nerd has as much character for a text file,
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as shall we say, Matt Ackeret. Thats why this file was
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written. To explore the nature of those ultra-nerds
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who would make the guys in Reveng of the Nerds look like
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the Fonz. We're not putting down this group of people, we're
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merly making a statement about society. So lets get on with
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the dictionary, shall we?
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APPLE - n. A computer company the computer nerd frequently
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calls to see if "Steve's around." Also the makers
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of a computer by the same name.
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AWESOME - exc. A frequnetly over used word in conjunction
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with the word girl [an AWESOME girl] or an
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computer [an AWESOME computer]
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ASSWIPE - n. Those super-jocks who trip and tease a computer
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nerd at school. Although he has little control
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over these social delemas, often when talking
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in the presense of his friends, a computer nerd
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will refer to a 'jock' as an 'asswipe.'
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BITCH(1) - n. The latest pretty, blonde, voluptous girl cheerleader
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that turned a computer nerd down when he asked
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her for a date. This was the one that took him
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two years to get enought courage to ask her.
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BITCH(2) - v. What a computer nerd's mom is when she
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makes him wear his bike helmet to school
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especially when she follows him to school to make
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sure it's securly fastined onto his head.
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BRA - n. Something which serves no purpose other than
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that you take it off during sex [that is if you
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CAN get it off.]
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BREAST(1) - n. Something a computer nerd is always looking
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at but can never get.
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BREAST(2) - n. Something a computer nerd could make
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bigger to impress all the cheerleaders but
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he took ADVANCED 80126 PROGRAMMING instead
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of weight training.
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BREAST ENLARGMENT - what most of the girls in the school
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have to impress and delight the football players
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BUMPTER STICKER - n. If a computer nerd had one of these
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it would say something like, 'I'd Rather Be
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Using Turbo Pascal' or 'Have you Hugged your
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6502 today?' or 'Steve Woz is really a hacker.'
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CALCULATOR -n. What a computer nerd is thankful for
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because without them he'd be using
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a slide ruler.
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CIRCUIT - n. What a computer nerd do without this
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piece of machinery?
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CHIP - n. Not refering to one of Nestle's.
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CHOICE - exc. A frequently over used word such
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the same meaning as AWESOME but
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not used in the sense of a 'choice girl.'
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[A choice computer, a choice program]
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COMMODORE - n. The best computer company - makers of such
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classics as the COMMADORE PET [the computer
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a computer nerd first learned to program on]
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and the VIC-20.
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COMPUTER - n. Man's greatest achievment besides that
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of calculator watches
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COPY - v. What a computer nerd must let the
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pretty cheerleader that sits next to him
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do when she forgot to do her homework.
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CUTE - adj. What you hope that pretty blonde cheerleader
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in your biology class is thinking you are right
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now.
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CRAP - exc. An excalmatory word a computer nerd
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uses to express supreme despair. Usually used after
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he get's a 'computer out of memory error'
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when he just finished typing in that big program
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from COMPUTE magazine.
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DANCE - n. A school event which caused more humiliation to the
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computer nerd than spirit week only it happens
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every month. A computer nerd goes anyways.
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DIGITIZER - n. A computer device used to copy Playboy centerfolds.
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This is so that a computer nerd can get off using
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the latest high tech equipment.
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DISK - n. A computer nerd's pride and joy
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DITCH - v. What a computer nerd's friends did to him that
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last time they went t.p.ing
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DOPE(1) - n. A word refering to a computer nerd's little brother when
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he accidently gets a booger caught in the
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the shift key so it no longer works.
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DOPE(2) - n. Something a computer nerd's father would never
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let him try.
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ELECTRONICS -n. The art of knowning how to make blue boxes, red
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boxes and how to make a light turn on across
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the room to impress your friends.
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FINE -adj. When he's walking around campus, most of the
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upperclassman girls are this way to a computer nerd.
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FOOTBALL - n. What happens every Friday to further mangle
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a computer nerd's social life. The dumbest
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invension besides 8 1/2 inch disks because
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you can't carry an 8 1/2 disk in your backpack
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to the library.
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FRESHMAN -n. The worst school year a computer nerd ever had
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FRATERNITY - n. A group of guys in college who drink achohol
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whistle at girls, smoke marijuana and other
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cool things a computer nerd would never be caught
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doing
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GEEK - n. Like a computer nerd but more of a nerd who
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thinks he's cool.
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HACKER - n. A computer nerd's hero. Someone who
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programs and makes money like Steve Jobs.
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HELL - n. The place where a computer nerd tells that
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super jock in his class to go to.
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IBM - n. That captalistic computer company.
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JOCK - n. Any asswipe who's on the Varsity football team
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KICK - n. What a computer nerd vous to do after somone
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trips him. Usually used in conjuction with
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'ass' - [kick ASS]
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LIKE - v. Refering to the computer nerd crush
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on a girl in the sixth grade [I liked...]
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LOVE - v. What the computer nerd was dreamed he made
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to the prettiest girl in school.
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LUNCH - n. That precious time a computer nerd has between
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4th and 5th period when he can work on his
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program or discuss the latest issue of Byte
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with the computer teacher.
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MACHO - adj. How all cheerleaders like their guys [accord.
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to compu-nerd] [ANT. See Sensitive]
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MASTURBATE - v. Something a computer nerd's parents told
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him not to do because he might grow
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hair on his plams.
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MODEM - n. What a computer nerd rarely has time for because of tight
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prgramming. Usually when he's on it, instead of calling
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the 'in' bbs's he calls RBBS and RCP/M to discuss technical
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stuff with adult computer nerds.
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MOTHER(1) - n. a computer nerd's conceiver.
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MOTHER(2) - adj, n. Refereing to a jock who tripped the computer
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nerd the other day - used in conjunction
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with the word FUCKER. [motherfucker]
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NERD -n. Those guys in Revenge of the Nerds who act funny
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and laugh weird but in the end get pussy.
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NERDETTE -n. That butt-ugly girl who follows the computer nerd
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around and stares at him during class. Though
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he is flattered because someone actually pays attention
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to him, he formally rejects her because her chest
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is probably concave.
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NEXUS - n. A bbs software the computer nerd uses because
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'networks is too hard to modify.' Otherwise
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a computer nerd would rather write his own software.
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ORIENTED - adj. A word describing the kind of bbs a computer nerd runs
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usually refering to something technical. 'A
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bbs oriented towards CP/M and LISP'
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PHONE -n. A computer nerd has a separte one of these -
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one for Data, One for Voice calls and one so
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Dad can ring on the intercom when its time
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for supper.
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PROGRAM -n. What a computer nerd would rather be doing
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than crusing girls, or other normal 'teenage' things
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RAD -exc. An exclamatory word which is the most
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over used word in a computer nerd's vocabulary. Although
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many other people use this word, a computer nerd
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will undoubtobly use the word 'rad' as much
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as a Valley-Girl uses 'like.'
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RALLEY -n That time when all the people who go to the football
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games get together and say stupid up-with-school-spirit
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cheers.
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REVENGE - v. A computer nerd dreams of this but never
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has time to do get around to planning it - he's
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to busy working on his latest program.
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RUBBER - n. A piece of rubber material used to prevent
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mini-computer nerd's from appearing although
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this event is unlikely to occur.
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SENSITIVE - adj. What all cheerleaders secretly would like thier
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guys to be. [accord. to Dear Abby]
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SEX - v. The thing in which computer nerd's tell their
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computer nerd friends they had. [i had SEX]
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SLIDE RULE - n. Something a computer nerd's dad carried around
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in the olden days in place of a calucaltor
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SPIRIT WEEK - n. An attrocious waste of time where it's supposedly
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funny to dress up and act like the nerd. However, he never
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sees this put-down since he's in the computer center
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during all of Spirit Week anyway. Why bother?
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STONER - n. Those guys who still listen to Led Zeppelin.
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TEXT FILE -n. A computer nerd would rather be programming
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than writing one of these but if he does have
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time to write text files, it usualyl in the form
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of some sexual fantasy.
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ULTRA-RAD - exc. An excalmatory remark used by computer nerd's
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to describe the computer faire they just went to.
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VIXEN - n. A voluptuous girl at school who's reportedly
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had sex with have the guys in the school yet
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secretly winks at the computer nerd.
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ZIPPER - n. What a computer nerd forgets to zip after he
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goes to the bathroom, causing major embarrassment.
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-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
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FOR QUESTIONS, COMMETS, ETC concering this dictionary or if you want
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to add some of your own words, contact me, THE QUARTZ on the HAUNTED
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HOUSE at 415-941-7256. Send E-MAIL.
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=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
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X-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-X
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Another file downloaded from: NIRVANAnet(tm)
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& the Temple of the Screaming Electron Jeff Hunter 510-935-5845
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Rat Head Ratsnatcher 510-524-3649
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Burn This Flag Zardoz 408-363-9766
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realitycheck Poindexter Fortran 415-567-7043
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Lies Unlimited Mick Freen 415-583-4102
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Specializing in conversations, obscure information, high explosives,
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arcane knowledge, political extremism, diversive sexuality,
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insane speculation, and wild rumours. ALL-TEXT BBS SYSTEMS.
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Full access for first-time callers. We don't want to know who you are,
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where you live, or what your phone number is. We are not Big Brother.
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"Raw Data for Raw Nerves"
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X-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-X
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