128 lines
5.4 KiB
Plaintext
128 lines
5.4 KiB
Plaintext
From: Eduardo Santiago <santiago>
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Subject: It's official--VAX sucks!
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To: stanford-square
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Date: Mon, 30 Oct 89 12:14:53 PST
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Organization: Workstation Systems Engineering
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Phone: 415-853-6769
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Sender: santiago
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VNS TECHNOLOGY WATCH: [Mike Taylor, VNS Correspondent]
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===================== [Nashua, NH, USA ]
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New VAX Reseller Sears Expects To Clean Up With Its Latest Offering
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t( {Unix Today!, 16-Oct-1989, p47}
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VAX sucks. Don't gasp and assume we're committing libel. It's
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true. Even its manufacturer will agree.
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What we're talking about here is the VAX vacuum cleaner, a British
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machine that Sears began marketing this year. The introduction of
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the vacuum with the same name as a rather well-known line of Digital
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Equipment computers has created a malestrom of confusion among piles
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of programmers who are less than bright and don't know a suction
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hose from a dirtbag.
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"I just don't think it's right," said I.M.A. Weenie, manager of
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information services for the Institute for the Study of We're Not
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Quite Sure What at Pork Barrel University in Pentagon, N.D.
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"We spent three weeks trying to boot Ultrix 3.1 on the Sears VAX
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without any luck at all. Then, when we called the number for
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software support in the doc kit and asked for a patch tape, they
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asked, 'What color?' and told us Krazy Glue would probably work as
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well."
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Weenie did find one praiseworthy feature: "It runs Donkey Kong
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better than an Amiga."
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R.T.F. Immanuel, vice president of information services at the
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investment firm of Crosby, Stills, Nash and (sometimes) Young, said
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his company finds the Sears VAX far superior to the DEC product.
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"The VAXstation we were using just never got dirt out of those
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hard-to-reach corners and folds in the upholstery," he said.
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How did this confusing situation come to pass? According to DEC
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spokeswoman Nikki Richardson, when DEC trademarked the VAX name
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prior to introducing that line in 1977, it was with the full
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knowledge that the British firm VAX Appliances had been using the
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name for several years.
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The two companies reached an agreement that allowed DEC to use the
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name for computers and the British firm to continue using the name
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for household appliances.
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Because the VAX vacuum cleaner had not been distributed in the
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United States, the two firms never clashed. Until now.
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But DEC takes a game view of the situation. "We felt there was no
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likelihood of confusion with the appliances," said Richardson,
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reading from a statement prepared by company attorneys.
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We asked Sears to supply specifications of the vacuum cleaner on the
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grounds that our readers are highly concerned with such issues as
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price/performance, processor speed, scalability, availability of
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applications and whether or not the machine has a flat-topped
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display you can rest a beer on.
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UT: What operating system does your VAX run?
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Sears: Operating system?
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UT: (quoting from the well-thumbed newsroom copy of 'Computers
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Explained For People With Extremely Tiny Brains'): "An operating
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system is the software that manages the computer hardware. Its
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development represented a giant step forward from the cumbersome
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binary I/O of the early ..."
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Sears: All you've got to do is plug the thing in and go.
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UT: (remembering something some marketing guy said once): Why, that
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would make your product... that would make it "plug and play."
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Sears: Yeah, you can just plug it in to any standard wall socket,
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and after that, you just turn it on.
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UT: (typing): "... compliant with all relevant standards... features
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include high user-friendliness..." What is the processor speed?
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Sears: Funny you should ask that. We have one at home, and we have
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a really big living room, and the other day my son had a party for
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his friends and the band he's in, Humongous Jet Flying Low Over Your
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House, and the Missus got the whole room clean in a half-hour with
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the VAX. It even sucked up those little parts that accidentally
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came off the dog.
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UT: (typing): "high...processor...speed...and...power..."
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Sears: And during the party, one of my son's friends dropped the VAX
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out the window, but the darn thing worked the next day!
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UT: "...robust..."
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Sears: It's very light. I'm not sure exactly how much it weighs,
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because we couldn't really get it to stay balanced on the bathroom
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scale.
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UT: "...though the VAX has limited scalability..."
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Sears: And it costs less than any one like it around!
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UT: "...offers a favorable price/performance point to any comparable
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machine of its class..."
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Meanwhile, in a move DEC says is totally unrelated to the VAX vs.
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VAX issue, the company announced last week that it is renaming its
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product lines.
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PDP computers still in circulation will henceforth be known as
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"Kenmore Side-by-Side Refigerator/Freezers." The DECstation line
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will be renamed "Sanyo Color TV With Full Remote Control."
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And all VAX computers and VAXstations will be recalled, so the
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following warning can be applied: "Do not use on delicate drapes and
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fabrics."
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{Unix Today!, 16-Oct-1989, p47}
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{contributed by Steve Lionel}
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