213 lines
10 KiB
Plaintext
213 lines
10 KiB
Plaintext
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WHAT LEECHS AND OTHER LOSERS
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DO ON SATURDAY NIGHTS:
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by:
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{+ The Blue Buccaneer +}
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REBEL ALLIANCE MEGCATLINE: 615-942-6670
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Have you ever wonder what the hell
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the leeches and other losers actually
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do on their Saturday nights?
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Of course you haven't! Nobody cares
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about it... But if ya ever wanted to
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know, I asked several of the leeches &
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other lozers on my Line.....
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:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:
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Sponge up the drool from their keyboards.
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Download awesome, new warez like Frogger, Choplifter, and <ya guessed it>....
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SNEAKERS!
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Call up various lines and create twenty seven new users <half of which have
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names like: SYSOP ISGAY or IMA FAKEUSER; and phone#s like the ever-
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popular: ITS UNLISTED or 800-xxx-xxxx or xxx-xxx-9xxx>.
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Call up CatLines and try to figure out why it isn't sending after they have
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added all the warez they wanna leech.
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Or for those who have called their local C-64 BBS and read the msg which
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explains that you're supposed to hit the S key to begin sending:
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They sit around and wonder why it isn't sending after it has said its ready.
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They call their local C-64 BBS and read all the messages posted by the famous
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people like: Indiana Jones, The Last Starfighter, & other unreal names.
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These messages say something to the effect of: SEND ME MAIL! or:
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Go see my movie, Temple of Doom. Some messages even have Locksmith 3.8
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params. for Demuffin+ crackable games.
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Then there are the messages from users asking the sysop to please make
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some other user quit calling them names...
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µ
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<I am getting sick.. let's move on...>
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They go downtown and watch all the parking meters VIOLATION themselves.
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They sit out in their backyards and watch the grass grow.
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They go down to the favorite intersection and watch the STOP signs rust.
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¡
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They get together with a friend and watch eachothers fingernails grow.
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They then.. <gasp!> cut them.. and <the good part> start all over again!
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They watch video tapes of MTV.
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They watch video tapes of the various cartoons they missed Saturday morning
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while they were out counting the number of cars that passed.
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They watch educational shows on PBS.
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They read interesting textfiles that tell them what lozers they are!
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They spend the entire evening relabeling their disks because the labels that
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where previously on there looked worn.
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They take a disk and mangle it to see if DARK can repair it.
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They try to make the salt peter smoke bombs, but get the 4/6 ratio backwards
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thus creating a nice mess.
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They get a box of blanks (which they bought at Computerland for $37.99)
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and try to see how small they can make the write-protect slots before
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the write-protect needle can't fit anymore.
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They call the Beufurt County Time recording and then run around the house
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resetting all the clocks to the time given in the recording, which
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happens to be two minutes and sixteen seconds off anyways.
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They call the Beufurt County Time recording back to see if it has changed the
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time or to make sure the recording is playing ok.
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They call the Beufurt County Time recording thirty eight times more to hear
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all the boring announcements given before the time. He then calls
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fourteen more times to make sure he has gotten them all.
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They call up Directory Assistance and ask the operator on duty for their own
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phone number just to make sure that they have it spelled correctly....
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<Wesalmyer Whaddaloze>
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They check the ice-maker in the frig. to see that there is enough.
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They range dial by hand.
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They play strip poker with themselves and lose.
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They then play solotair and lose again.
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They try to figure out why their Sprint codes don't work on MCI.
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They call up their local Sprint business office and ask for new codes.
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They look for spelling mistakes in Websters.
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They check for spelling mistakes in textfiles.
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They try and firgure out why Bank Street Writer won't load their AE textfiles
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They call the decent pirates they know and ask: WHAT ARE THE NEW WAREZ?
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They then proceed to beg away.
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They sharpen the ole holepuncher.
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Because someone told them that it was faster and easier to get their cat to
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range dial, they try teaching poor Fred how to push touchtone buttons.
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They then give up on that <after Fred has bitten the hell out of his hand>
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and try to create new touchtone songs.
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They get a cassette recorder and see what comes up when they try to load ACDC
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They then find APPLE TALKER and backup all their cassette tapes.
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They then try to figure out why the heck The Cat's Meow IV won't work on
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their D.C. Hayes Micro-Modem ][
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They see what happens when they move their drive controller card into slot 0.
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They see if their drives will work ok when they are placed in different
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positions. <drive 2 on top of drive 1; both upsidedown>
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They see if their drives will boot ok if they are in a bowl of patato salad.
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They add 2547 sectors off of a RANA3 CatLine and wonder why it won't on their
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apple drive.
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They try to add files on an AE Line.
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They copy Applesoft programs with Locksmith <regular bit-copy>.
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They then try to copy the Applesoft programs by printing them out on the
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printer and then retyping.
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They get out the dictionary and see if WAREZ, KRAK, KRAC, PHREAK, and that
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sorta <- that also> is spelled correctly.
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They then try to figure out new WAIS to spell them.
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When leaving feedback to a sysop, they don't remember how to type /EX, but
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just remember to hit return fourty or so times.
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They call up their friend <same one as in fingernail competition> and do some
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new backspacing tricks.
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They sector edit their warez, trying to put their names in, but haven't
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figured out that it does in fact matter where they put it.
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---------------------------------------
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---< I am taking a break... Please >---
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---< press ^S and wait five minutes>---
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---< before you continue reading >---
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---------------------------------------
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If it is now five minutes after
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the time when you finished
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reading the above note, you
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are one hell of a MORON!!
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---------------------------------------
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ON WITH THE EXAMPLES:
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---------------------------------------
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They go down to K-Mart and check out the new brands of quality clothing.
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They go to the grocery store and search for rare COKE cans with the word COKE
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misspelled.
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They go trashing for secret Telco papers in their neighbor (the plumber) 's
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garbage. (and get's caught!)
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They keep trying to open child-proof caps.
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They go to the supermarket and open all the bottles with the special caps
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that pop up when the bottle has been opened, just to make sure no one
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has tampered with them.
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They get a game and spend the next 15 hours booting it over 1300 times
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looking for secret commands and passwords.
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They test things like: paper clips, rubber bands, staples, and paper.
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They do: 3.14912301 * 7123.12301 ^7 / 9.491832 and then squareroot it, on
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their calculator and then do it by hand, just to make sure that the
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calculator didn't make any mistakes.
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Shine their tennis shoes.
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Play all their new cassette tapes to make sure that they are all blanks
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before they record on them.
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Spend three hours making up new handles to use when ever one finally realizes
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the Black Turtle is a lozer.
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Calls MaBell and asks the poor operator to trace a crank call someone made
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two nights ago.
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Calls up Computerland to see if they have Ultima 8 or Sneakers ][.
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Goes outside and checks the mailbox to see if, by any slight chance, the mail
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is now being delivered at one in the morning.
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Checks his favorite BBS <the local C-64> for new messages and any replies to
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his e]mail <wait..no..I forgot, C-64 BBSes don't have e]mail> since
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he last called <4 minutes ago>.
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Calls up Rate & Route Information and checks the rates to places no one would
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ever even think of calling.
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Wonders why people write textfiles about him.
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Wonders why the word "BLOCK" is used in AE, CS, & CF, when the little square
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things have nothing to do with transfering stuff over the phone lines.
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Wonders why DISK-FER /// doesn't ever transfer correctly.
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Wonders why all the people he bugs for warez ask him to still use it when
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they finally give in to his pleading.
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Uses ? instead of the word print when typing textfiles.
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Go down to the concert hall and try to scalp some tickets to Conway Twitty.
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:%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%:
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:% I am fully aware that there are %:
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:% millions and millions more of %:
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:% stupid things that leeches and %:
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:% other losers do, but I am done %:
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:% typing this. If, per chance, %:
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:% you know of any more, simply %:
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:% tack them on to the end of this %:
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:% already too long file. Later. %:
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:%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%:
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:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:
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[:::: Uploaded by Silent Rebel ::::]
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X-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-X
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Another file downloaded from: NIRVANAnet(tm)
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& the Temple of the Screaming Electron Jeff Hunter 510-935-5845
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Rat Head Ratsnatcher 510-524-3649
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Burn This Flag Zardoz 408-363-9766
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realitycheck Poindexter Fortran 415-567-7043
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Lies Unlimited Mick Freen 415-583-4102
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Specializing in conversations, obscure information, high explosives,
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arcane knowledge, political extremism, diversive sexuality,
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insane speculation, and wild rumours. ALL-TEXT BBS SYSTEMS.
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Full access for first-time callers. We don't want to know who you are,
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where you live, or what your phone number is. We are not Big Brother.
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"Raw Data for Raw Nerves"
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X-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-X
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