57 lines
3.1 KiB
Plaintext
57 lines
3.1 KiB
Plaintext
Subject: Penthouse PET
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The personal computer industry was rocked recently when Penthouse
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Magazine merged with Commodore Computers. The joint venture will
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introduce a new product, the Penthouse PET, billed as a "VERY personal
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computer designed to satisfy a variety of users' needs."
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Planning a new line of velvet and satin software, the company's
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Times Square R&D facility is working on applications packages for the
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home entertainment market. One of the niftier applications is a word
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processing package called SLEAZY WRITER which can generate an almost
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infinite number of Penthouse Magazine Forum letters using a vocabulary
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of only fifty words. Other packages include Accounts Painable,
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Visi-Crotch, a Eunuchs Operating System, Electronic Male, and a graphics
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package featuring 200 different shades of pink. A user friendly
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language called VIRGIN will guide first timers every step of the way.
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One of the main research thrusts is to develop a warm man-machine
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interface. According to Penthouse sources, erotica is simply an
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extension of ergonomics. The PET terminal has been designed with a
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ribbed exterior and comes in a variety of tropical colors. California
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publisher Blue Boy is offering an optional AC/DC power supply. A
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company spokesman also lauded the PET's portability. "With moisture
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resistant packaging, you can take your PET anywhere - you can go
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swimming with it, take it into the Jacuzzi, or even go to bed with it."
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In addition, the Penthouse PET will be able to interface with the
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next generation of interactive video discs. Users will be able to pick
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from a wide variety of fantasies with the aid of a groan-activated
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selector. Of course the system comes with a joy stick as well.
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For the party market, Penthouse has developed a Local Area Network
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called ORGYNET, which the company claims is a breakthrough in
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compatibility. With the ORGYNET input-output port, you can stick your
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plug right in. A cluster controller has also been designed to handle
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the interactive needs of up to four users at one time. Unlike other
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LANs which use a single coaxial cable, ORGYNET features a tangle of coax
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(OEM'd from Cox) and uses TSMA (tactile sense multiple access) to allow
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up to 69 users to interact with the system and each other
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simultaneously. Although Penthouse reports that ORGYNET can sustain
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prolonged interactive sessions, insiders report that the throughput
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peaks after about 30 seconds.
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The PET will be distributed by Frederick's of Hollywood, local news
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stands, and Sears. Penthouse is also strong in service and maintenance;
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S&M will be handled by a nationwide fleet of vans equipped with a
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variety of whips, chains, and other tools.
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The new generation of personal computers was totally anticipated by
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the Yankee Group consultants. From a limp beginning, the erotic
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information processing market has been rising in recent years and is now
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quite firm, although the recession has created some soft spots.
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Penthouse's strategy is to use its solid orders to enter the soft
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markets, jack up production when things get going, and pull out just
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before competitors come rising into the market.
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