60 lines
3.3 KiB
Plaintext
60 lines
3.3 KiB
Plaintext
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Guide to Computer Language
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BIT: A word used to describe computers, as in "Our son's
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computer cost quite a bit."
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BOOT: What your friends give you because you spend too much
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time bragging about your computer skills.
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BUG: What your eyes do after you stare at the tiny green
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computer screen for more than 15 minutes. Also: what
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computer magazine companies do to you after they get
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your name on their mailing list.
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CHIPS: The fattening, non-nutritional food computer users eat
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to avoid having to leave their keyboards for meals.
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COPY: What you have to do during school tests because you
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spend too much time at the computer and not enough
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time studying.
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CURSOR: What you turn into when you can't get your computer to
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perform, as in "You $#$%&@#$ computer!"
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DISK: What goes out in your back after bending over a
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computer keyboard for seven hours at a clip.
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DUMP: The place all your former hobbies wind up soon after
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you install your computer.
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ERROR: What you made the first time you walked into a computer
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showroom to "just look."
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EXPANSION UNIT: The new room you have to build on to your home to
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house your computer and all its peripherals.
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FILE: What your secretary can now do to her nails six and
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a half hours a day, now that the computer does her
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day's work in 30 minutes.
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FLOPPY: The condition of a constant computer user's stomach
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due to lack of exercise and a steady diet of junk food.
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(see "Chips").
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HARDWARE: Tools, such as lawnmowers, rakes and other heavy
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equipment you haven't laid a finger on since getting
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your computer.
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IBM: The kind of missile your family members and friends
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would like to drop on your computer so you'll pay
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attention to them again.
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MENU: What you'll never see again after buying a computer
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because you'll be too poor to eat in a restaurant.
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MONITOR: Often thought to be a word associated with computers,
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this word actually refers to those obnoxious kids who
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always want to see your hall pass at school.
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PROGRAMS: Those things you used to look at on your television
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before you hooked your computer up to it.
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RAM: What you do to the side of your computer when it's
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not working properly.
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RETURN: What lots of people do with their computers after
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only a week and a half.
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TERMINAL: A place where you can find buses, trains and really
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good deals on hot computers.
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WINDOW: What you heave the computer out of after you
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accidentally erase a program that took you three days
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to set up.
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VUARNET INT'L: A BBS in Boston specializing in text philes, message
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bases, and home of the naked Co-Ed BBS team.
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-/Vuarnet International/-
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617/527.oo91
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24oo-16.8k HST/V32bis |