42 lines
1.9 KiB
Plaintext
42 lines
1.9 KiB
Plaintext
-- IF OPERATING SYSTEMS RAN AIRLINES --
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If operating systems ran airlines:
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Everybody pushes the airplane until it glides, then jump on and let
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the plane coast until it hits the ground again, then push again, jump on
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again and so on. This is the DOS airline.
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The same thing but with more leg room to push. The DOS with QEMM
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airline.
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All the stewards, stewardesses, captains, baggage handlers, and ticket
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agents look the same, act the same, and talk the same. Every time you
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ask questions about details, you are told you don't need to know, don't
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want to know, and everything will be done for you without you having to
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know, so just shut up. This is the MAC airline.
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To board the plane, you have your ticket stamped ten different times by
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standing in ten different lines. Then you fill out a form showing where
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you want to sit and whether it should look and feel like an ocean liner,
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a passenger train, or a bus. If you succeed in getting on board the
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plane and the plane succeeds in getting off the ground, you have a
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wonderful trip...except for the times when the rudder and flaps get
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frozen in position, in which case you have time to say your prayers and
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get yourself prepared before the crash. This is the OS/2 airline.
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The airport terminal is nice and colorful, with friendly stewards and
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stewardesses, easy access to the plane, an uneventful takeoff...then
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BOOM! the plane blows up without any warning whatsoever and you're dead.
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This is the Windows airline.
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Everyone marches out on the runway, say the password in unison, and form
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the outline of an airplane. Then they all sit down and make a whooshing
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sound like they're flying. This is the Windows NT airline.
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Everyone brings one piece of the plane with them when they come to the
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airport. They all go out on the runway and put the plane together piece
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by piece, arguing constantly about what kind of plane they're building.
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This is the Unix airline.
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