textfiles/humor/COMPUTER/nuke.txt

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Q B X - 1
SINGLE-BOARD NUCLEAR REACTOR
SUPPLIES STANDBY POWER FOR 12 YEARS
Now available on a full-length plugin card for IBM PC or
compatible computers, the QBX-1 add-on nuclear-reactor card
provides backup power for as long as 12 years. When the card
senses a power failure, explosive bolts eject moderator and
control rods from the reactor's interior within 20 usec, bringing
the reactor to its fully rated output of 20 kW in less than a
millisecond. Over its 12-year active life, the reactor's power
decreases by 25% to 15 kW.
Integral heat fins provide convection cooling of the
reactor's 500W power dissipation while in its standby condition.
If your computer's fans can't furnish 400 ft3/sec of forced air
for cooling, consider buying the manufacturer's heavy-water
cooling jacket and stainless-steel pump module, which fit con-
veniently under a desk or workbench. Latches on each side of the
reactor module let you quickly exchange the radioactive core,
should you need to replace it. An optional circular viewing port
of lead glass lets you check the mechanical assemblies.
To protect users from undue radiation, each reactor includes
a shielding kit comprising five self-stick lead plates and 20
radiation-monitoring film badges. The lead plates mount inside
your computer's enclosure and reduce the gamma rays that cause
soft errors to floppy-disk and RAM data. For further protection,
consider buying the manufacturer's 200-ft extension cords for
keyboards and monitors.
Because the reactor can supply more than enough power for
your computer, you can sell excess power to your local utility
company. An add-on phasing and metering kit (PMK-1) lets you
connect your reactor to the local power grid. Each PMK-1
includes standard power-sale contracts and Rural Electrification
Board rules and regulations.
Although not required in all localities, each reactor card
package includes a standard 23-volume site-evacuation plan. The
plan includes blank forms for you to fill in the name and address
of your reactor side and then mail to the Nuclear Regulatory
Commission. As an option, the manufacturer supplies the plan on
12 MS-DOS-compatible disks in Wordstar format. User-friendly
templates let you type in information so that your word processor
can create a complete, printed document.
Reactor prices start at $2.3 million. Delivery, seven years
ARO.
Luminesent Electronics Products Inc.
Box U-235
Trinity Site, NM 43210
EDN 4/3/86