41 lines
2.0 KiB
Plaintext
41 lines
2.0 KiB
Plaintext
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Were It Not For Computers
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by Tim Casady
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Ever notice how fellow employees often depend heavily on computers?
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Everytime they lose your paycheck or haven't finished the work that
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they swore on an electronic Bible they'd have completed a week ago,
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they turn to the trusty computer and say, "It's the computer's
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fault." This is a foolproof scheme used by fools. They don't even
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need to know how to operate the computer. They just have to learn
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the fine skills of pointing their index finger at their computer and
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blaming it, knowing darned well that the computer will not speak up
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in its own defense. This leads one to wonder: what would these same
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employees do had computers never been invented?
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***
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disgruntled employee: It's pay day. What do you mean you can't give
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me my paycheck until next week?
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payroll officer: We're very sorry, but the waste paper basket deleted
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it.
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***
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angry supervisor: Don't just sit there staring off into space. Get
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back to work.
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accountant: But I can't do any work right now, sir. My pencil is out
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of order.
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***
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annoyed supervisor: Where are those files I said to put on my desk?
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secretary: I can't get at them. The file cabinet is malfunctioning,
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and the repairman won't be here until this afternoon.
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***
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executive manager: You were found making out with secretary in your
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office. What do you have to say to yourself?
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middle-level manager: Ummmmmmm.... I was down for maintenance? {RAH}
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--------------
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Tim Casady spends his work days not writing about undocumented
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features in software programs. After work, he likes to do some
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martial arts. Either it brings him inner peace, or else there is
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something innately satisfying about kicking things after working with
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computers for eight hours straight. If you feel like just leaving
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him alone, then don't contact him at bampf@delphi.com.
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