52 lines
1.9 KiB
Plaintext
52 lines
1.9 KiB
Plaintext
Signs of Computer Use in School Age Children
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1. Are Billy's or Mary's grades suddenly going up?
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2. Are they asking questions you can't answer?
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3. Do you find traces of computer use isn their rooms such as
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half-finished programs, esoteric magazines, and arcane print-outs?
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4. Have their appetites changed? Are they suddenly into such
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things as Chinese food and late-night snacking?
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5. Are they uncommonly eager to get to their homework?
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6. Is their speech direct, unslurred, and hard to understand?
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7. Looking into their eyes --- are their pupils bright?
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8. Are new friends popping up, kids you'd normally associate
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with glasses, notebooks, and cleverness?
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9. Are your phone bills getting bigger, with mysterious calls
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to faraway places late at night even though when you pick up the receiver
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all you hear is beeps?
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10. Do they save their money, work at odd jobs to earn it and then
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suddenly rush ``downtown'' to make a ``buy''?
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WARNING
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If you suspect your child is using computers and need help to know what to do
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about it, call your local Computer Hotline where trained social workers will
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help you ease the burden of knowing that your kid is hooked.
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--- SURGEON GENERAL
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Questions to Ask When Shopping for a Computer\item{1.} Why is it gray?
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1. Why is it gray?
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2. How many channels does it get?
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3. Is this all of it?
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4. Are these 45's or long playing?
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5. Is it as easy as it looks?
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6. Are you sure it's on?
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7. Why does it write in green?
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8. Why is the typewriter in two pieces?
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9. How does it know what to do?
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10. Do I need to buy anything else?
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Ten Ways to Address a Computer
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1. Dear Computer
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2. My Esteemed Machine
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3. Honorable Machine Head
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4. You @+\%c\$\& Piece of Junk
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5. Get It Right This Time, Idiot
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6. This is Your Last Chance, Bimbo
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7. Dear Money Sucker
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8. Listen, Clown
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9. Are You in There?
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10. Hello, God, It's Me Again
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