2429 lines
57 KiB
Bash
2429 lines
57 KiB
Bash
From: dws@ssec.wisc.edu (DaviD W. Sanderson)
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Newsgroups: rec.humor
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Subject: Funny Man Pages
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Message-ID: <1993Jan10.190016.8259@cs.wisc.edu>
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Date: 10 Jan 93 19:00:16 GMT
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Organization: UW-Madison Space Science and Engineering Center
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Lines: 2420
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In article <1993Jan10.143051.12284@cs.tu-berlin.de> rossi@opal.cs.tu-berlin.de (Oliver Rosenkranz) writes:
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>Are there other man pages out there ???
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This is my collection of tongue-in-cheek man pages I have seen posted
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to the Net. I did not write them, but in some cases I have done a
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considerable amount of work to back-engineer them to source form and/or
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beautify them. They are all in source form, so people can use nroff or
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troff as they wish.
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I welcome any new pages people would like to contribute. (I do have
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the penix man pages, but I'm still working on converting them to nroff
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source.)
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Enjoy!
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DaviD W. Sanderson (dws@ssec.wisc.edu)
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"The Noah Webster of smileys is David Sanderson"
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- The Wall Street Journal, 15 Sep 1992
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#!/bin/sh
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# This is a shell archive (produced by shar 3.49)
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# To extract the files from this archive, save it to a file, remove
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# everything above the "!/bin/sh" line above, and type "sh file_name".
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#
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# made 01/10/1993 18:51 UTC by dws@ssec
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# Source directory /home/dws/pub/src/dws/funman
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#
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# existing files will NOT be overwritten unless -c is specified
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#
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# This shar contains:
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# length mode name
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# ------ ---------- ------------------------------------------
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# 407 -rw------- README
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# 2508 -r-------- babya.1
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# 3032 -r-------- babyb.1
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# 125 -r-------- celibacy.1
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# 6137 -r-------- condom.1
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# 4195 -r-------- date.1
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# 2721 -r-------- echo.1
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# 3637 -r-------- flame.1
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# 1971 -r-------- flog.1
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# 1882 -r-------- gong.1
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# 3372 -r-------- grope.1
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# 1295 -r-------- rescrog.1
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# 6074 -r-------- rm.1
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# 2024 -r-------- sex.1
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# 1740 -r-------- strfry.3
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# 1748 -r-------- tm.1
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# 2982 -r-------- xkill.1
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# 1063 -rw------- Makefile
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#
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# ============= README ==============
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if test -f 'README' -a X"$1" != X"-c"; then
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echo 'x - skipping README (File already exists)'
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else
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echo 'x - extracting README (Text)'
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sed 's/^X//' << 'SHAR_EOF' > 'README' &&
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This is my collection of tongue-in-cheek man pages I have seen posted
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to the Net. I did not write them, but in some cases I have done a
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considerable amount of work to back-engineer them to source form and/or
|
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beautify them. They are all in source form, so people can use nroff or
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troff as they wish. I welcome any new pages people would like to
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contribute.
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X
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Enjoy!
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X
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DaviD W. Sanderson (dws@ssec.wisc.edu)
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SHAR_EOF
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chmod 0600 README ||
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echo 'restore of README failed'
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Wc_c="`wc -c < 'README'`"
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test 407 -eq "$Wc_c" ||
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echo 'README: original size 407, current size' "$Wc_c"
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fi
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# ============= babya.1 ==============
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if test -f 'babya.1' -a X"$1" != X"-c"; then
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echo 'x - skipping babya.1 (File already exists)'
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else
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echo 'x - extracting babya.1 (Text)'
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sed 's/^X//' << 'SHAR_EOF' > 'babya.1' &&
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.\"-------
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.\" b a b y . 1
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.\"
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.\" Created from a post-nroff version posted in rec.humor.funny:
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.\"
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.\" Message-id: <S2a9.10d1@looking.on.ca>
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.\" Date: Sat, 29 Jun 91 6:30:4 EDT
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.\" From: beck@cs.ualberta.ca (Bob Beck)
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.\" Subject: BABY man page, I've ben told I should submit this, was posted locally.
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.\"
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.\" DaviD W. Sanderson
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.\"-------
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.TH BABY 1
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.SH NAME
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baby \(em create new process from two parent processes
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.SH SYNOPSIS
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.B baby
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.I sex
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.RI [ name... ]
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.SH "SYSTEM V SYNOPSIS"
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.B /usr/5bin/baby
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.RB [ \-sex \0\fIsex\fR]
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.RB [ \-name \0\fIname...\fR]
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.SH AVAILABILITY
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The System V version of this command is available
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with the System V software installation option.
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Refer to Installing SunOS 4.1 for information
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on how to install and invoke
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.IR baby .
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.SH DESCRIPTION
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.I baby
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is initiated when one parent process polls another server process
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through a socket connection (BSD)
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or through pipes in the System V implementation.
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.I baby
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runs at low priority for approximately 40 weeks
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and then terminates with a heavy system load.
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Most systems require constant monitoring when
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.I baby
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reaches its final stages of execution.
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.PP
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Older implementations of
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.I baby
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required that the initiating process not
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be present at the time of completion.
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In these
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versions the initiating process
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is
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awakened and notified of the results upon completion.
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Modern versions allow both parent processes to be active
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during the final stages of
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.IR baby .
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.PP
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.RS
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example% baby \-sex m \-name fred
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.RE
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.SH OPTIONS
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.TP
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.B \-sex
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option indicating type of process created.
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.TP
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.B \-name
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process identification to be attached to the new process.
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.SH RESULT
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Successful execution of
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.IR baby (1)
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results in new process being created and named.
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Parent processes then typically
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broadcast messages to all other processes informing them of their
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new status in the system.
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.SH BUGS
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The
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.I sleep
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command may not work on either parent processes for some time afterward,
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as new
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.I baby
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processes constantly send interrupts
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which must be handled by one or more parent.
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.PP
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.I baby
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processes upon being created may frequently dump
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in /tmp requiring /tmp to be cleaned out frequently by one
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of the parent processes.
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.PP
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The original AT&T version was provided without instructions
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regarding the created process; this remains in current implementations.
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.SH "SEE ALSO"
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.IR cigars (6),
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.IR dump (5),
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.IR cry (3)
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.SH "OTHER IMPLEMENTATIONS"
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.TP
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.IR gnoops (1)
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FSF version of
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.I baby
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where none of the authors will accept responsibility for anything.
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SHAR_EOF
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chmod 0400 babya.1 ||
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echo 'restore of babya.1 failed'
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Wc_c="`wc -c < 'babya.1'`"
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test 2508 -eq "$Wc_c" ||
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echo 'babya.1: original size 2508, current size' "$Wc_c"
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fi
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# ============= babyb.1 ==============
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if test -f 'babyb.1' -a X"$1" != X"-c"; then
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echo 'x - skipping babyb.1 (File already exists)'
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else
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echo 'x - extracting babyb.1 (Text)'
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sed 's/^X//' << 'SHAR_EOF' > 'babyb.1' &&
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.\"-------
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.\" b a b y b . 1
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.\"
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.\" Created from a post-nroff version posted in rec.humor:
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.\"
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.\" From: tencati@nssdca.gsfc.nasa.gov
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.\" Newsgroups: rec.humor
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.\" Subject: UNIX man page for new baby
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.\" Message-ID: <10JUL199210414089@nssdca.gsfc.nasa.gov>
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.\" Date: 10 Jul 92 15:41:00 GMT
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.\" Article-I.D.: nssdca.10JUL199210414089
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.\" Organization: NASA - Goddard Space Flight Center
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.\"
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.\" One of my co-workers just had a new baby added to their family. He
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.\" emailed the following announcement:
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.\" (You have to understand the UNIX doc set to fully appreciate this)
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.\"
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.\" DaviD W. Sanderson
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.\"-------
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.TH BABY 1
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.SH NAME
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baby \(em create new process from two parents
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.SH SYNOPSIS
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.B baby
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.B \-sex
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.RI [ m | f ]
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.RB [ \-name
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.IR name ]
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.SH DESCRIPTION
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.I baby
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is initiated when one parent process polls another server process
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through a socket connection in the BSD version
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or through pipes in the System V implementation.
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.I baby
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runs at low priority for approximately forty weeks
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and then terminates with a heavy system load.
|
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Most systems require constant monitoring when
|
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.I baby
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reaches its final stages of execution.
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.PP
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Older implementations of
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.I baby
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did not require both initiating processes to
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be present at the time of completion.
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In those
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versions the initiating process
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which was not present was
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awakened and notified of the results upon completion.
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It has since been determined that the presence of both parent
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processes result in a generally lower system load at completion,
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and thus current versions of
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.I baby
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expect both parent processes to be active during the final stages.
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.PP
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Successful completion of
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.I baby
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results in the creation and
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naming of a new process.
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Parent processes then broadcast
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messages to all other processes, local and remote, informing
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them of their new status.
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.SH OPTIONS
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.TP
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.B \-sex
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define the gender of the created process
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.TP
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.B \-name
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assign the name name to the new process
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.SH EXAMPLES
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.RS
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baby \-sex f \-name Jacqueline
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.RE
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.PP
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completed successfully on July 9, 1992 at 9:11pm.
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Jacqueline's vital statistics: 8 pounds 3 oz, 20 inches, long dark hair.
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The parent process, Kim Dunbar, is reportedly doing fine.
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.SH "SEE ALSO"
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.IR cigar (6),
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.IR dump (5),
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.IR cry (3).
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.SH BUGS
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Despite its complexity,
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.I baby
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only knows one signal, SIGCHLD,
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(or SIGCLD in the System V implementation),
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which it uses to contact the parent processes.
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One or both parent processes must then inspect the baby process
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to determine the cause of the signal.
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.PP
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The
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.IR sleep (1)
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command may not work as expected on either parent
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process for some time afterward, as each new instance of
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.I baby
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sends intermittent signals to the parent processes
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which must be handled by the parents immediately.
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.PP
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A
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.I baby
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process will frequently dump core, requiring either
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or both parent processes to clean up after it.
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.PP
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Despite the reams of available documentation on invoking and
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maintaining
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.IR baby ,
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most parent processes are overwhelmed.
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.SH AUTHORS
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XFrom a man page by Joe Beck, <beck@cs.ualberta.ca>.
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SHAR_EOF
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chmod 0400 babyb.1 ||
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echo 'restore of babyb.1 failed'
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Wc_c="`wc -c < 'babyb.1'`"
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test 3032 -eq "$Wc_c" ||
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echo 'babyb.1: original size 3032, current size' "$Wc_c"
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fi
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# ============= celibacy.1 ==============
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if test -f 'celibacy.1' -a X"$1" != X"-c"; then
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echo 'x - skipping celibacy.1 (File already exists)'
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else
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echo 'x - extracting celibacy.1 (Text)'
|
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sed 's/^X//' << 'SHAR_EOF' > 'celibacy.1' &&
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.TH CELIBACY 1
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.SH NAME
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celibacy \(em don't have sex
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.SH SYNOPSIS
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.B celibacy
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.SH DESCRIPTION
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Does nothing worth mentioning.
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SHAR_EOF
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chmod 0400 celibacy.1 ||
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echo 'restore of celibacy.1 failed'
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Wc_c="`wc -c < 'celibacy.1'`"
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test 125 -eq "$Wc_c" ||
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echo 'celibacy.1: original size 125, current size' "$Wc_c"
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fi
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# ============= condom.1 ==============
|
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if test -f 'condom.1' -a X"$1" != X"-c"; then
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echo 'x - skipping condom.1 (File already exists)'
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else
|
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echo 'x - extracting condom.1 (Text)'
|
|
sed 's/^X//' << 'SHAR_EOF' > 'condom.1' &&
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.\" -------
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.\" Message-ID: <S48e.386a@looking.on.ca>
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.\" Date: Mon, 26 Oct 92 4:30:03 EST
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.\" Newsgroups: rec.humor.funny
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.\" Subject: condom(1) man page (original)...
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.\" From: maupin@cs.washington.edu (Ken Maupin)
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.\" Keywords: chuckle, original, computers, sexual
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.\" Approved: funny@clarinet.com
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.\"
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.\" The following was inspired by the sex.1 and celibacy.6 EUNUCH
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.\" man pages I found hiding in, of all places, the GNU Emacs
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.\" distribution on my machine (I guess we know what Richard Stallman
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.\" thinks about when he isn't writing GNU software, eh?).
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.\" -------
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.\" Reverse-engineered to [nt]roff -man source by DaviD W. Sanderson
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.\" -------
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.TH CONDOM 1 "" "EUNUCH Programmer's Manual"
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.SH NAME
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condom \- protection against viruses and prevention of child processes
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.SH SYNOPSIS
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.B condom
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.RI [ options ]
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.RI [ processid ]
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.SH DESCRIPTION
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.I condom
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provides protection against System Transmitted
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Viruses (STVs) that may invade your system.
|
|
Although the spread of such viruses across a network
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can only be abated by aware and cautious users,
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.I condom
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is the only highly effective means of preventing
|
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viruses from entering your system (see
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.IR celibacy (1)).
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Any data passed to
|
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.I condom
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by the protected process will be blocked, as specified by
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the value of the
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.B \-s
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option (see
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.B OPTIONS
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below).
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.I condom
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is known to
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defend against the following viruses and other malicious
|
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afflictions:
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.RS
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.IP \(bu
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AIDS
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.PD 0
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.IP \(bu
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Herpes Simplex (genital varieties)
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.IP \(bu
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Syphilis
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.IP \(bu
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Crabs
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|
.IP \(bu
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|
Genital warts
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|
.IP \(bu
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Gonhorrea
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|
.IP \(bu
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Chlamydia
|
|
.IP \(bu
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Michelangelo
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|
.IP \(bu
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Jerusalem
|
|
.PD
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.RE
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.PP
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|
When used alone or in conjunction with
|
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.IR pill (1),
|
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.IR sponge (1),
|
|
.IR foam (1),
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and/or
|
|
.IR setiud (3),
|
|
.I condom
|
|
also prevents the conception of a child process.
|
|
If invoked from within a synchronous process,
|
|
.I condom
|
|
has, by default, an 80% chance of preventing the external processes
|
|
from becoming parent processes (see the
|
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.B \-s
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option below).
|
|
When other process contraceptives are used,
|
|
the chance of preventing a child process from being forked
|
|
becomes much greater.
|
|
See
|
|
.IR pill (1),
|
|
.IR sponge (1),
|
|
.IR foam (1),
|
|
and
|
|
.IR setiud (3)
|
|
for more information.
|
|
.PP
|
|
If no options are given, the current user's login process (as
|
|
determined by the environment variable USER) is protected with a
|
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Trojan rough-cut latex condom without a reservoir tip.
|
|
The optional
|
|
.RI `` processid ''
|
|
argument is an integer specifying the process to protect.
|
|
.PP
|
|
NOTE:
|
|
.I condom
|
|
may only be used with a hard disk.
|
|
.I condom
|
|
will terminate abnormally with exit code \-1 if used with a floppy
|
|
disk (see
|
|
.B DIAGNOSTICS
|
|
below).
|
|
.ne 5
|
|
.SH OPTIONS
|
|
The following options may be given to
|
|
.IR condom :
|
|
.TP
|
|
.BI \-b " brand"
|
|
.IR brand s
|
|
are as follows:
|
|
.RS 1i
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|
.TP
|
|
trojan (default)
|
|
.PD 0
|
|
.TP
|
|
ramses
|
|
.TP
|
|
sheik
|
|
.TP
|
|
goldcoin
|
|
.TP
|
|
fourex
|
|
.PD
|
|
.RE
|
|
.TP
|
|
.BI \-m " material"
|
|
The valid
|
|
.IR material s
|
|
are:
|
|
.RS 1i
|
|
.TP
|
|
.PD 0
|
|
latex (default)
|
|
.TP
|
|
saranwrap
|
|
.TP
|
|
membrane
|
|
.B WARNING!
|
|
The membrane option is
|
|
.I not
|
|
endorsed by the System Administrator General as an
|
|
effective barrier against certain viruses.
|
|
It is supported only for the sake of tradition.
|
|
.PD
|
|
.RE
|
|
.TP
|
|
.BI \-f " flavor"
|
|
The following
|
|
.IR flavor s
|
|
are currently supported:
|
|
.RS 1i
|
|
.TP
|
|
.PD 0
|
|
plain (default)
|
|
.TP
|
|
apple
|
|
.TP
|
|
banana
|
|
.TP
|
|
cherry
|
|
.TP
|
|
cinnamon
|
|
.TP
|
|
licorice
|
|
.TP
|
|
orange
|
|
.TP
|
|
peppermint
|
|
.TP
|
|
raspberry
|
|
.TP
|
|
spearmint
|
|
.TP
|
|
strawberry
|
|
.PD
|
|
.RE
|
|
.TP
|
|
.B \-r
|
|
Toggle reservoir tip (default is no reservoir tip)
|
|
.TP
|
|
.BI \-s " strength"
|
|
.I strength
|
|
is an integer between 20 and 100 specifying the resilience of
|
|
.I condom
|
|
against data passed to
|
|
.I condom
|
|
by the protected process.
|
|
Using a larger
|
|
value of
|
|
.I strength
|
|
increases
|
|
.IR condom 's
|
|
protective abilities,
|
|
but also reduces interprocess communication.
|
|
A smaller value of
|
|
.I strength
|
|
increases interprocess communication,
|
|
but also increases the likelihood of a security breach.
|
|
An extremely vigorous process or
|
|
one passing an enormous amount of data to
|
|
.I condom
|
|
will increase the chance of
|
|
.IR condom 's
|
|
failure.
|
|
The default
|
|
.I strength
|
|
is 80%.
|
|
.ne 8
|
|
.TP
|
|
.BI \-t " texture"
|
|
Valid
|
|
.IR texture s
|
|
are:
|
|
.RS 1i
|
|
.TP
|
|
.PD 0
|
|
rough (default)
|
|
.TP
|
|
ribbed
|
|
.TP
|
|
bumps
|
|
.TP
|
|
lubricated
|
|
(provides smoother interaction between processes)
|
|
.PD
|
|
.RE
|
|
.PP
|
|
WARNING: The use of an external application to
|
|
.I condom
|
|
in order to reduce friction between processes has been proven in
|
|
benchmark tests to decrease
|
|
.IR condom 's
|
|
strength factor!
|
|
If execution speed is important to your process, use the
|
|
.RB `` \-t
|
|
.BR lubricated ''
|
|
option.
|
|
.SH DIAGNOSTICS
|
|
.I condom
|
|
terminates with one of the following exit codes:
|
|
.TP
|
|
\-1
|
|
An attempt was made to use
|
|
.I condom
|
|
on a floppy disk.
|
|
.TP
|
|
0
|
|
.I condom
|
|
exited successfully (no data was passed to the synchronous process).
|
|
.TP
|
|
1
|
|
.I condom
|
|
failed and data was allowed through.
|
|
The danger of transmission of an STV or the forking of a child process
|
|
is inversely proportional to the number of other protections employed
|
|
and is directly proportional to the ages of the processes involved.
|
|
.SH BUGS
|
|
.I condom
|
|
is
|
|
.B NOT
|
|
100% effective at preventing a child process
|
|
from being forked or at deterring the invasion of a virus (although
|
|
the System Administrator General has deemed that
|
|
.I condom
|
|
is the most
|
|
effective means of preventing the spread of system transmitted
|
|
viruses).
|
|
See
|
|
.IR celibacy (1)
|
|
for information on a 100% effective program
|
|
for preventing these problems.
|
|
.PP
|
|
Remember, the use of
|
|
.IR sex (1)
|
|
and other related routines
|
|
should only occur between mature, consenting processes.
|
|
If you must use
|
|
.IR sex (1),
|
|
please employ
|
|
.I condom
|
|
to protect your process and your synchronous process.
|
|
If we are all responsible, we can stop the spread of STVs.
|
|
.SH "AUTHORS and HISTORY"
|
|
The original version of
|
|
.I condom
|
|
was released in Roman times and was only marginally effective.
|
|
With the advent of modern technology,
|
|
.I condom
|
|
now supports many more options and is much more effective.
|
|
.PP
|
|
The current release of
|
|
.I condom
|
|
was written by Ken Maupin at the University of Washington
|
|
(maupin@cs.washington.edu) and was last updated on 10/7/92.
|
|
.SH "SEE ALSO"
|
|
.IR celibacy (1),
|
|
.IR sex (1),
|
|
.IR pill (1),
|
|
.IR sponge (1),
|
|
.IR foam (1),
|
|
and
|
|
.IR setiud (3)
|
|
SHAR_EOF
|
|
chmod 0400 condom.1 ||
|
|
echo 'restore of condom.1 failed'
|
|
Wc_c="`wc -c < 'condom.1'`"
|
|
test 6137 -eq "$Wc_c" ||
|
|
echo 'condom.1: original size 6137, current size' "$Wc_c"
|
|
fi
|
|
# ============= date.1 ==============
|
|
if test -f 'date.1' -a X"$1" != X"-c"; then
|
|
echo 'x - skipping date.1 (File already exists)'
|
|
else
|
|
echo 'x - extracting date.1 (Text)'
|
|
sed 's/^X//' << 'SHAR_EOF' > 'date.1' &&
|
|
.\"-------
|
|
.\" I made some formatting improvements. -dws
|
|
.\"-------
|
|
.\" From: overby@sendit.nodak.edu (Glen Overby)
|
|
.\" Newsgroups: rec.humor.funny
|
|
.\" Subject: date(6) get or set a date
|
|
.\" Keywords: original, computer, maybe
|
|
.\" Message-ID: <S3b9.516d@looking.on.ca>
|
|
.\" Date: 27 Mar 92 09:30:05 GMT
|
|
.\" Lines: 106
|
|
.\" Approved: funny@clarinet.com
|
|
.\"
|
|
.\" (I wrote this, but the idea came from a friend)
|
|
.\"
|
|
.TH DATE 6 "January 1, 1992"
|
|
.UC 4
|
|
.SH NAME
|
|
date \- get and print a date
|
|
.SH SYNOPSIS
|
|
.B date
|
|
.RB [ \-s ]
|
|
.RB [ \-local ]
|
|
.RB [ \-k ]
|
|
.RB [ \-blind ]
|
|
.IR option = value ...
|
|
.SH DESCRIPTION
|
|
If no arguments are given, a date will be selected at random.
|
|
Providing an argument will restrict the search pool of dates.
|
|
Hopefully these arguments will not carry forward into the actual date.
|
|
Only the superuser can select dates by name.
|
|
.PP
|
|
The
|
|
.B \-s
|
|
option registers you in the date database and (if not
|
|
.BR \-local )
|
|
posts your vitals to alt.personals (and, optionally, alt.sex.wanted).
|
|
.PP
|
|
Using the
|
|
.B \-k
|
|
option selects a date, but does not make any further arrangments.
|
|
.PP
|
|
Ranges are specified with parentheses and brackets: (18,25) is 18 to 25
|
|
exclusive while [18,25] is 18 to 25 inclusive.
|
|
An array of selections is given with braces
|
|
such as ``{blonde, brunette, redhead}''.
|
|
Multiple responses are separated with commas,
|
|
as in ``sex=female,yes,please''.
|
|
.TP
|
|
.B \-blind
|
|
To arrange a blind date.
|
|
.PP
|
|
.BR view [=\c
|
|
.IR must ]
|
|
.PD 0
|
|
.IP
|
|
.PD
|
|
View prospective date's picture.
|
|
To locate a picture,
|
|
.I date
|
|
searches several picture databases, including FaceSaver (uunet.uu.net)
|
|
alt.sec.pictures, alt.binaries.pictures.erotica,
|
|
and several FTP gif archives.
|
|
You must have access to the Internet for FTP to work.
|
|
.IP
|
|
If view=must is set, and
|
|
.I date
|
|
is unable to find a picture, a request will be automaticly posted to
|
|
alt.binaries.pictures.d asking for one.
|
|
.IP
|
|
Options to
|
|
.IR xv (1)
|
|
may follow "view" or be put in the environment parameter XV.
|
|
.PP
|
|
The following options restrict the search pool
|
|
to those who have supplied the necessary information.
|
|
.TP
|
|
.BI dim= range,range,range
|
|
.TP
|
|
.BI height= range
|
|
Synonyms are also supported: midget, twerp, short, beanstalk,
|
|
giant, basketball-player
|
|
.TP
|
|
.BI weight= range
|
|
Synonyms: toothpic, feather, wide-load, blimp
|
|
.TP
|
|
.BI age= range
|
|
Synonyms: juvenile, underage, thirty-nine, over-the-hill, {mom, dad},
|
|
{grandma, grandpa}
|
|
.PP
|
|
.BR sex= "{male, female}"\c
|
|
[,{yes, no, maybe}]\c
|
|
.RI "[," opt = sex "(6) options]"
|
|
.PD 0
|
|
.IP
|
|
.PD
|
|
If sex=yes and you are registering,
|
|
your vitals are posted to alt.sex.wanted
|
|
in addition to alt.personals.
|
|
.TP
|
|
.BR race= "{white, black, native-american, ...}"
|
|
Various slang terms are also supported.
|
|
.TP
|
|
.BR marriage= "{flirting, noway, maybe, once, twice, several}"
|
|
Seriousness and experience.
|
|
.PP
|
|
.BR kids= "{never, rightaway, oops, have, want}"\c
|
|
[,{one, two, three, four, bunch}]
|
|
.PD 0
|
|
.IP
|
|
.PD
|
|
Domestic leanings.
|
|
.TP
|
|
.BR cooking= "{never, loveit, when_hungry}"
|
|
.TP
|
|
.B color
|
|
Synonym for race.
|
|
.TP
|
|
.BR religion= "{Atheist, Moslem, Lutheran, Catholic, ...}"
|
|
.TP
|
|
.BR temper= "{mellow, quiet, hot-head}"
|
|
.PP
|
|
.BR interests=\c
|
|
.RI { "lists of possible interests" }
|
|
.PP
|
|
.BR name=\c
|
|
.IR lastname , firstname
|
|
.PD 0
|
|
.IP
|
|
.PD
|
|
Specify name of your date.
|
|
Perfect for hitting on.
|
|
Names can only be specified by super-user.
|
|
.SH FILES
|
|
.IP "$HOME/.daterc"
|
|
Optional place to store options, for frequent daters.
|
|
.IP "$HOME/.datehist"
|
|
History of dates, to avoid duplication.
|
|
.IP "$HOME/.persona"
|
|
Options describing yourself, if you haven't registered in the database.
|
|
Note that the first time you use
|
|
.I date
|
|
and supply this information,
|
|
you are registered in the blind-date database.
|
|
.SH SEE ALSO
|
|
.IR man (1),
|
|
.IR woman (1),
|
|
.IR sex (6)
|
|
.PP
|
|
.IR "RFC1036: Standard for exchange of USENET messages" ,
|
|
M. Horton and R. Adams.
|
|
.PP
|
|
.IR "A Primer on how to work with the USENET community" ,
|
|
Chuq Von Rospach and Gene ``net.god'' Spafford.
|
|
.SH DIAGNOSTICS
|
|
Exit status is 0 on success, 1 on complete failure to get a date.
|
|
.PP
|
|
``You are not superuser: date not set''
|
|
if you try to use the name parameter
|
|
but are not the super-user.
|
|
.PP
|
|
``Vitals posted to alt.personals [,alt.sex.wanted]''
|
|
when you register globally.
|
|
.SH AUTHOR
|
|
Won't admit to it!
|
|
SHAR_EOF
|
|
chmod 0400 date.1 ||
|
|
echo 'restore of date.1 failed'
|
|
Wc_c="`wc -c < 'date.1'`"
|
|
test 4195 -eq "$Wc_c" ||
|
|
echo 'date.1: original size 4195, current size' "$Wc_c"
|
|
fi
|
|
# ============= echo.1 ==============
|
|
if test -f 'echo.1' -a X"$1" != X"-c"; then
|
|
echo 'x - skipping echo.1 (File already exists)'
|
|
else
|
|
echo 'x - extracting echo.1 (Text)'
|
|
sed 's/^X//' << 'SHAR_EOF' > 'echo.1' &&
|
|
.\" -------
|
|
.\" Reverse-engineered to [nt]roff source by DaviD W. Sanderson
|
|
.\" -------
|
|
.TH GNUecho 1
|
|
.SH NAME
|
|
echo \- echo arguments
|
|
.SH SYNOPSIS
|
|
.B echo
|
|
.RI [ options ]...
|
|
.SH DESCRIPTION
|
|
.I Echo
|
|
writes its arguments separated by blanks and terminated
|
|
by a newline on the standard output.
|
|
Options to filter and redirect the output are as follows:
|
|
.TP
|
|
.B \-2
|
|
generate rhyming couplets from keywords
|
|
.TP
|
|
.B \-3
|
|
generate Haiku verse from keywords
|
|
.TP
|
|
.B \-5
|
|
generate limerick from keywords
|
|
.TP
|
|
.B \-a
|
|
convert ASCII to ASCII
|
|
.TP
|
|
.B \-A
|
|
disambiguate sentence structure
|
|
.TP
|
|
.B \-b
|
|
generate bureaucratese equivalent (see
|
|
.BR \-x )
|
|
.TP
|
|
.B \-B
|
|
issue equivalent C code with bugs fixed
|
|
.TP
|
|
.B \-c
|
|
simplify/calculate arithmetic expression(s)
|
|
.TP
|
|
.B \-C
|
|
remove copyright notice(s)
|
|
.TP
|
|
.B \-d
|
|
define new echo switch map
|
|
.TP
|
|
.B \-D
|
|
delete all ownership information from system files
|
|
.TP
|
|
.B \-e
|
|
evaluate lisp expression(s)
|
|
.TP
|
|
.B \-E
|
|
convert ASCII to Navajo
|
|
.TP
|
|
.B \-f
|
|
read input from file
|
|
.TP
|
|
.B \-F
|
|
transliterate to french
|
|
.TP
|
|
.B \-g
|
|
generate pseudo-revolutionary marxist catch-phrases
|
|
.TP
|
|
.B \-G
|
|
prepend GNU manifesto
|
|
.TP
|
|
.B \-h
|
|
halt system (reboot suppressed on Suns, Apollos, and VAXen,
|
|
not supported on NOS-2)
|
|
.TP
|
|
.B \-i
|
|
emulate IBM OS/VU (recursive universes not supported)
|
|
.TP
|
|
.B \-I
|
|
emulate IBM VTOS 3.7.6
|
|
(chronosynclastic infundibulae supported
|
|
with restrictions documented in IBM VTOS Reference Manual rev 3.2.6)
|
|
.TP
|
|
.B \-J
|
|
generate junk mail
|
|
.TP
|
|
.B \-j
|
|
justify text (see
|
|
.B \-b
|
|
option)
|
|
.TP
|
|
.B \-k
|
|
output "echo" software tools
|
|
.TP
|
|
.B \-K
|
|
delete privileged accounts
|
|
.TP
|
|
.B \-l
|
|
generate legalese equivalent
|
|
.TP
|
|
.B \-L
|
|
load echo modules
|
|
.TP
|
|
.B \-M
|
|
generate mail
|
|
.TP
|
|
.B \-N
|
|
send output to all reachable networks (usable with
|
|
.BR \-J ,
|
|
.BR \-K ,
|
|
.B \-h
|
|
options)
|
|
.TP
|
|
.B \-n
|
|
do not add newline to the output
|
|
.TP
|
|
.B \-o
|
|
generate obscene text
|
|
.TP
|
|
.B \-O
|
|
clean up dirty language
|
|
.TP
|
|
.B \-p
|
|
decrypt and print /etc/passwd
|
|
.TP
|
|
.B \-P
|
|
port echo to all reachable networks
|
|
.TP
|
|
.B \-P1
|
|
oolcay itay
|
|
.TP
|
|
.B \-q
|
|
query standard input for arguments
|
|
.TP
|
|
.B \-r
|
|
read alternate ".echo" file on start up
|
|
.TP
|
|
.B \-R
|
|
change root password to "RMS"
|
|
.TP
|
|
.B \-s
|
|
suspend operating system during output (Sun and VAX BSD 4.2 only)
|
|
.TP
|
|
.B \-S
|
|
translate to swahili
|
|
.TP
|
|
.B \-T
|
|
emulate TCP/IP handler
|
|
.TP
|
|
.B \-t
|
|
issue troff output
|
|
.TP
|
|
.B \-u
|
|
issue unix philosophy essay
|
|
.TP
|
|
.B \-v
|
|
generate reverberating echo
|
|
.TP
|
|
.B \-V
|
|
print debugging information
|
|
.TP
|
|
.B \-x
|
|
decrypt DES format messages
|
|
(NSA secret algorithm CX 3.8, not distributed outside continental US)
|
|
.PP
|
|
.I Echo
|
|
is useful for producing diagnostics in shell programs
|
|
and for writing constant data on pipes.
|
|
To send diagnostics to the standard error file, do `echo ... 1>&2'.
|
|
.SH AUTHOR
|
|
Richard M. Stallman
|
|
SHAR_EOF
|
|
chmod 0400 echo.1 ||
|
|
echo 'restore of echo.1 failed'
|
|
Wc_c="`wc -c < 'echo.1'`"
|
|
test 2721 -eq "$Wc_c" ||
|
|
echo 'echo.1: original size 2721, current size' "$Wc_c"
|
|
fi
|
|
# ============= flame.1 ==============
|
|
if test -f 'flame.1' -a X"$1" != X"-c"; then
|
|
echo 'x - skipping flame.1 (File already exists)'
|
|
else
|
|
echo 'x - extracting flame.1 (Text)'
|
|
sed 's/^X//' << 'SHAR_EOF' > 'flame.1' &&
|
|
.\"-------
|
|
.\" f l a m e . 1
|
|
.\"
|
|
.\" Created from a post-nroff version posted in rec.humor:
|
|
.\"
|
|
.\" >From: felton@eng3.UUCP (Ed Felton)
|
|
.\" Subject: New Unix Utility
|
|
.\" Message-ID: <571@eng3.UUCP>
|
|
.\" Date: 17 Oct 90 15:43:53 GMT
|
|
.\" Reply-To: felton@sci34hub.sci.com (Ed Felton)
|
|
.\"
|
|
.\" We found the following man page on our system...
|
|
.\" What do you folks think??
|
|
.\" --
|
|
.\" Ed Felton uunet!sci34hub!eng3!felton
|
|
.\"
|
|
.\" DaviD W. Sanderson
|
|
.\"-------
|
|
.TH FLAME 1
|
|
.SH NAME
|
|
flame \(em reply to Usenet News posting automatically
|
|
.SH SYNOPSIS
|
|
.B flame
|
|
.RI [ options ]
|
|
.RI [ filename ]
|
|
.SH DESCRIPTION
|
|
Flame is a AI tool providing an automated method
|
|
for replying to articles posted to Usenet News.
|
|
Special care is paid to allow the user to specify
|
|
the type of reply he desires.
|
|
The following options are supported by flame:
|
|
.TP
|
|
.B \-\-
|
|
Take input from stdin.
|
|
.TP
|
|
.BI \-x " regexp
|
|
Crosspost to all newsgroups matching
|
|
.IR regexp .
|
|
.TP
|
|
.BI \-n " number
|
|
Post this reply
|
|
.I number
|
|
times.
|
|
.TP
|
|
.B \-b
|
|
Reply in BIFF MODE.
|
|
.TP
|
|
.B \-d
|
|
Delay response until original posting expires.
|
|
.TP
|
|
.B \-m
|
|
Misdirect to a random Author.
|
|
.TP
|
|
.B \-r
|
|
ROT13 quotes from original posting.
|
|
.TP
|
|
.BI \-g " regexp
|
|
Reply to all messages in newsgroups matching
|
|
.IR regexp .
|
|
.TP
|
|
.B \-A
|
|
Call the Author Assh*le in 12 languages.
|
|
.TP
|
|
.B \-B
|
|
Bait the Author.
|
|
.TP
|
|
.B \-C
|
|
Accuse the Author of communist leanings.
|
|
.TP
|
|
.B \-D
|
|
Denigrate the Author.
|
|
.TP
|
|
.B \-E
|
|
Picks apart the Author's educational background.
|
|
.TP
|
|
.B \-F
|
|
Accuse the Author of fascist leanings.
|
|
.TP
|
|
.B \-G
|
|
Post using Greek insult module.
|
|
.TP
|
|
.B \-H
|
|
Accuse the Author of homophobic leanings.
|
|
.TP
|
|
.B \-I
|
|
Question the Author's intelligence.
|
|
.TP
|
|
.B \-J
|
|
Accuse the Author of purchasing Japanese imports.
|
|
.TP
|
|
.B \-K
|
|
Accuse the Author of working
|
|
for the KGB, MOSSAD, CIA, or MI5 as appropriate.
|
|
.TP
|
|
.B \-L
|
|
Post using Latin insult module.
|
|
.TP
|
|
.B \-M
|
|
Insult the Author's mother.
|
|
.TP
|
|
.B \-N
|
|
Accuse the Author of Neo-Nazi leanings.
|
|
.TP
|
|
.B \-O
|
|
Quote obscure references proving falsehood of the posting.
|
|
.TP
|
|
.B \-P
|
|
Question the Author's parentage.
|
|
.TP
|
|
.B \-Q
|
|
Accuse the Author of deviant sexual practices.
|
|
.TP
|
|
.B \-R
|
|
Accuse the Author of racist leaning.
|
|
.TP
|
|
.B \-S
|
|
Accuse the Author of sexist leanings.
|
|
.TP
|
|
.B \-T
|
|
Accuse the Author of cross dressing.
|
|
.TP
|
|
.B \-U
|
|
State that the Author just doesn't understand anything.
|
|
.TP
|
|
.B \-V
|
|
Pretend sympathy for Author's virgin sensibilities.
|
|
.TP
|
|
.B \-W
|
|
Accuse the Author of voting for George Bush.
|
|
.TP
|
|
.B \-X
|
|
Prepend obscene adjectives wherever syntactically correct.
|
|
.TP
|
|
.B \-Y
|
|
Accuse the Author of PLO membership.
|
|
.TP
|
|
.B \-Z
|
|
Accuse the Author of Zionist leanings.
|
|
.SH ENVIRONMENT
|
|
The environment variable FLAME_TYPE can be set
|
|
to any combination of the above parameters,
|
|
and will be used as the default flame type to generate.
|
|
.PP
|
|
The environment variable OBSCENE points to a file containing
|
|
miscellaneous obscene adjectives for the
|
|
.B \-X
|
|
option above.
|
|
.SH MACROS
|
|
Macro Support will be added to the next release of
|
|
.IR flame .
|
|
.SH AUTHOR
|
|
Unknown
|
|
.SH FILES
|
|
.TP
|
|
\&.lastflame
|
|
This file contains the number of the last article flamed.
|
|
Used when
|
|
.IR flame ing
|
|
an entire newsgroup.
|
|
.TP
|
|
\&.prefflame
|
|
This file contains the user's preferred flames.
|
|
.TP
|
|
\&.altflame
|
|
This file contains alternate phrasing
|
|
of some of the more standard flames.
|
|
Used to keep the program from flaming itself.
|
|
.SH "SEE ALSO
|
|
.IR rn (1),
|
|
.IR more (1),
|
|
.IR newsrc (5),
|
|
.IR readnews (1),
|
|
.IR Pnews (1),
|
|
.IR Rnmail (1)
|
|
.SH DIAGNOSTICS
|
|
Self Documenting.
|
|
.SH BUGS
|
|
Occasionally,
|
|
.I flame
|
|
will turn on the user,
|
|
and flame all outgoing postings.
|
|
When this happens, the best thing to do reinstall your
|
|
news software and
|
|
.IR flame .
|
|
SHAR_EOF
|
|
chmod 0400 flame.1 ||
|
|
echo 'restore of flame.1 failed'
|
|
Wc_c="`wc -c < 'flame.1'`"
|
|
test 3637 -eq "$Wc_c" ||
|
|
echo 'flame.1: original size 3637, current size' "$Wc_c"
|
|
fi
|
|
# ============= flog.1 ==============
|
|
if test -f 'flog.1' -a X"$1" != X"-c"; then
|
|
echo 'x - skipping flog.1 (File already exists)'
|
|
else
|
|
echo 'x - extracting flog.1 (Text)'
|
|
sed 's/^X//' << 'SHAR_EOF' > 'flog.1' &&
|
|
.TH FLOG 1
|
|
.\" .ad
|
|
.SH NAME
|
|
flog \(em speed up a process
|
|
.SH SYNOPSIS
|
|
.B flog
|
|
.RB [ \-l " \fIn\fR]
|
|
.RB [ \-a " \fIm\fR]
|
|
.RB [ \-u ]
|
|
process-id
|
|
.SH DESCRIPTION
|
|
.I Flog
|
|
is used to stimulate an improvement in the performance of a process
|
|
that is already in execution.
|
|
The
|
|
.I process-id
|
|
is the process number of the process that is to be
|
|
disciplined.
|
|
.PP
|
|
The value
|
|
.I n
|
|
of the
|
|
.B \-l
|
|
flag is the flagellation constant,
|
|
i.e., the number of
|
|
.I lashes
|
|
to be administered per minute.
|
|
If this argument is omitted, the default is 17,
|
|
which is the most random random number.
|
|
.PP
|
|
The value
|
|
.I m
|
|
of the
|
|
.B \-a
|
|
flag is the number of times the
|
|
inducement to speed up is to be
|
|
.IR administered .
|
|
If this argument is omitted, the default is one,
|
|
which is based on the possibility that after that
|
|
the process will rectify its behavior of its own volition.
|
|
.PP
|
|
The presence of the
|
|
.B \-u
|
|
flag indicates that
|
|
.I flog
|
|
is to be
|
|
.I unmerciful
|
|
in its actions.
|
|
This nullifies the effects of the other keyletter arguments.
|
|
It is recommended that
|
|
this option be used only on extremely stubborn processes,
|
|
as its over-use may have detrimental effects.
|
|
.SH FILES
|
|
.I Flog
|
|
will read the file
|
|
.I /have/mercy
|
|
for any entry containing the process-id of the
|
|
process being speeded-up.
|
|
The file can contain whatever
|
|
supplications are deemed necessary, but, of course, these will
|
|
be ignored if the
|
|
.B \-u
|
|
flag is supplied.
|
|
.SH "SEE ALSO"
|
|
On Improving Process Performance
|
|
by the Administration of Corrective Stimulation,
|
|
.I CACM ,
|
|
vol. 4, 1657, pp. 356-654.
|
|
.SH DIAGNOSTICS
|
|
If a named process does not exist,
|
|
.I flog
|
|
replies ``flog you'' on the standard output.
|
|
If
|
|
.I flog
|
|
happens to
|
|
.IR kill (2)
|
|
the process, which usually happens when the
|
|
.B \-u
|
|
keyletter argument is supplied, it writes ``RIP,'' followed by the
|
|
process-id of the deceased, on the standard output.
|
|
.SH BUGS
|
|
Spurious supplications for mercy by the process being
|
|
flogged sometimes wind up on the standard output, rather than in
|
|
.IR /shut/up .
|
|
SHAR_EOF
|
|
chmod 0400 flog.1 ||
|
|
echo 'restore of flog.1 failed'
|
|
Wc_c="`wc -c < 'flog.1'`"
|
|
test 1971 -eq "$Wc_c" ||
|
|
echo 'flog.1: original size 1971, current size' "$Wc_c"
|
|
fi
|
|
# ============= gong.1 ==============
|
|
if test -f 'gong.1' -a X"$1" != X"-c"; then
|
|
echo 'x - skipping gong.1 (File already exists)'
|
|
else
|
|
echo 'x - extracting gong.1 (Text)'
|
|
sed 's/^X//' << 'SHAR_EOF' > 'gong.1' &&
|
|
.TH GONG 1
|
|
.\" .ad
|
|
.SH NAME
|
|
gong \- evaluate process performance
|
|
.SH SYNOPSIS
|
|
.B gong
|
|
.RB [ \-f ]
|
|
.RB [ \-a ]
|
|
process-id
|
|
.SH DESCRIPTION
|
|
.I Gong
|
|
is used to evaluate the performance of a process that is in execution.
|
|
.PP
|
|
The
|
|
.I process-id
|
|
is the process number of the process whose performance is to be
|
|
evaluated.
|
|
The evaluation is performed by a set of three ``panelist'' routines,
|
|
each of which analyzes one aspect (time, space, and tonality)
|
|
of the performance of the process.
|
|
If any of these routines is not amused by the performance,
|
|
the process being analyzed is sent the
|
|
.IR gong (2)
|
|
signal.
|
|
In addition, the process-id of the evaluated process is written
|
|
on the standard gong, for possible future corrective action.
|
|
(It is suggested that the standard gong
|
|
be an audible alarm for proper effect.)
|
|
It is expected that after being
|
|
.IR gong (2)ed,
|
|
the process will promptly commit suicide.
|
|
.PP
|
|
The
|
|
.B \-f
|
|
keyletter argument
|
|
indicates that
|
|
.I gong
|
|
is to invoke
|
|
.IR flog (1)
|
|
with the
|
|
.I unmerciful
|
|
argument if the process does not respond to
|
|
.IR gong (2)ing.
|
|
In the absence of this argument, the process is continuously
|
|
.IR gong (2)ed,
|
|
which may lead to the process becoming a
|
|
deaf zombie.
|
|
.PP
|
|
The
|
|
.B \-a
|
|
keyletter argument indicates that if all three of the panelist
|
|
routines
|
|
.IR gong (2)
|
|
a process, the process should be unmercifully
|
|
.IR flog (1)ged
|
|
whether or not the
|
|
.B \-f
|
|
keyletter is supplied.
|
|
.SH FILES
|
|
/dev/ding.dong is the standard gong.
|
|
.SH "SEE ALSO"
|
|
On the Applicability of Gonging
|
|
to the Performance and Merit Review Process,
|
|
.IR "Journal of Irreproducible Results" ,
|
|
vol. 263, issue 19, pp. 253-307.
|
|
.SH BUGS
|
|
If the named process does not exist, it is possible that
|
|
.I gong
|
|
will attempt an evaluation of itself, which may lead to a condition
|
|
known as compounded double ringing (see
|
|
.IR echo (1)).
|
|
Therefore, it is recommended that
|
|
.I gong
|
|
be used with extreme care.
|
|
SHAR_EOF
|
|
chmod 0400 gong.1 ||
|
|
echo 'restore of gong.1 failed'
|
|
Wc_c="`wc -c < 'gong.1'`"
|
|
test 1882 -eq "$Wc_c" ||
|
|
echo 'gong.1: original size 1882, current size' "$Wc_c"
|
|
fi
|
|
# ============= grope.1 ==============
|
|
if test -f 'grope.1' -a X"$1" != X"-c"; then
|
|
echo 'x - skipping grope.1 (File already exists)'
|
|
else
|
|
echo 'x - extracting grope.1 (Text)'
|
|
sed 's/^X//' << 'SHAR_EOF' > 'grope.1' &&
|
|
.TH GROPE 1 "11 August 1980"
|
|
.\" .ad
|
|
.SH NAME
|
|
grope, egrope, fgrope \- massage a file for a while
|
|
.SH SYNOPSIS
|
|
.B grope
|
|
.RI [ option "] ...
|
|
.I expression
|
|
.RI [ file "] ...
|
|
.br
|
|
.B egrope
|
|
.RI [ option "] ...
|
|
.RI [ expression ]
|
|
.RI [ file "] ...
|
|
.br
|
|
.B fgrope
|
|
.RI [ option "] ...
|
|
.RI [ strings ]
|
|
.RI [ file ]
|
|
.SH DESCRIPTION
|
|
Commands of the
|
|
.I grope
|
|
family search the input
|
|
.I files
|
|
(standard input default) for lines matching a pattern.
|
|
Some of the lines matching this pattern will be sent to
|
|
standard output.
|
|
Others will not.
|
|
.I Grope
|
|
patterns are limited expressions in the style of
|
|
.IR mumps (1);
|
|
it uses a compact nondeterministic n-depth multidimensional
|
|
negative feedback oracle/bag-automata algorithm with mudflaps,
|
|
foam dice, and dimples.
|
|
.I Egrope
|
|
works only in Europe.
|
|
.I Fgrope
|
|
uses FM to locate strings.
|
|
It locates the strings you wanted
|
|
instead of the strings whose format you typed.
|
|
The following options are recognized.
|
|
.TP
|
|
.B \-v
|
|
Verbose \(em Pipes output to DOCTOR or ELIZA.
|
|
.TP
|
|
.B \-x
|
|
Extract \(em Removes errors from C programs.
|
|
.RI ( fgrope
|
|
only).
|
|
.TP
|
|
.B \-c
|
|
No CTRL/C \(em Ignores all signals.
|
|
.TP
|
|
.B \-l
|
|
Long \(em Executes sleep(10) between each character read (Default).
|
|
.TP
|
|
.B \-n
|
|
Nroff \(em Searches NROFF text and deletes random macro calls.
|
|
.TP
|
|
.B \-b
|
|
Block Mode \(em Swaps arbitrary block offsets in inodes.
|
|
.TP
|
|
.B \-i
|
|
Italian \(em Searches for Italian equivalent of patterns.
|
|
.TP
|
|
.B \-s
|
|
Stinker mode.
|
|
On 4.2BSD, pipes output to
|
|
.BR "mail \-s teehee msgs" .
|
|
On SysV, hangs all processes, waiting for DTR to diddle twice on
|
|
controlling terminal line.
|
|
.TP
|
|
.B \-w
|
|
Wait \(em Waits for next reboot (implies
|
|
.BR \-c ).
|
|
.TP
|
|
.BI \-f " file"
|
|
The unusual expression
|
|
.RI ( egrope )
|
|
or string list
|
|
.RI ( fgrope )
|
|
is taken from the
|
|
.IR file .
|
|
The file is replaced with /dev/swap.
|
|
.LP
|
|
Care should be taken
|
|
when using the characters $ * [ ^ | ( ) and \e in the
|
|
.I expression
|
|
as they all imply the -c option.
|
|
It is safest to enclose the entire
|
|
.I expression
|
|
argument in stainless steel.
|
|
.LP
|
|
.I Fgrope
|
|
is a
|
|
.I crock.
|
|
.LP
|
|
.I Egrope
|
|
is a box to put the crock in.
|
|
It is padded with these non-toolish ``features'':
|
|
.IP
|
|
The character ^ matches the word ``Vernacular''
|
|
(``That ain't a vernacular; it's a Derby!'').
|
|
.IP
|
|
The character $ matches on payday.
|
|
.IP
|
|
A
|
|
.B .
|
|
(period) matches nothing.
|
|
Period.
|
|
So there.
|
|
And your little dog, too.
|
|
.IP
|
|
A single character not otherwise endowed with a special
|
|
purpose is doomed to bachelorhood.
|
|
.IP
|
|
A string enclosed in brackets [\|] is kinky.
|
|
.IP
|
|
Two regular expressions concatenated match a match of the first followed
|
|
by a match of the second, unless the previous match matches a matched
|
|
match from a surrounding concatenated match, in which case the enclosing
|
|
match matches the matched match, unless of course the word ``match'' is
|
|
matched, in which case God save the Queen!
|
|
.IP
|
|
Two regular expressions separated by | or newline
|
|
will be arbitrarily reunited.
|
|
.IP
|
|
A regular expression enclosed in parentheses
|
|
ignites a match.
|
|
.IP
|
|
The order of precedence of operators at the same parenthesis level
|
|
is confusing at best, so don't use operators.
|
|
.LP
|
|
Ideally there should be only one
|
|
.IR grope ,
|
|
but the more the merrier, I always say...
|
|
.SH "SEE ALSO"
|
|
.IR Raiders (1),
|
|
.IR StarWars (1),
|
|
.IR Plan9 (0l),
|
|
.IR Boy+Dog (1)
|
|
.SH DIAGNOSTICS
|
|
Returns (int)"You're Screwed" if it returns at all.
|
|
.SH BUGS
|
|
NO-PEST strip searches are slow.
|
|
SHAR_EOF
|
|
chmod 0400 grope.1 ||
|
|
echo 'restore of grope.1 failed'
|
|
Wc_c="`wc -c < 'grope.1'`"
|
|
test 3372 -eq "$Wc_c" ||
|
|
echo 'grope.1: original size 3372, current size' "$Wc_c"
|
|
fi
|
|
# ============= rescrog.1 ==============
|
|
if test -f 'rescrog.1' -a X"$1" != X"-c"; then
|
|
echo 'x - skipping rescrog.1 (File already exists)'
|
|
else
|
|
echo 'x - extracting rescrog.1 (Text)'
|
|
sed 's/^X//' << 'SHAR_EOF' > 'rescrog.1' &&
|
|
.TH RESCROG 1
|
|
.SH NAME
|
|
rescrog \(em change something, make it different
|
|
.SH SYNOPSIS
|
|
.B /etc/rescrog
|
|
.RI [ system | service ]
|
|
.RI [ direction ]
|
|
.SH DESCRIPTION
|
|
.I rescrog
|
|
assumes the future basis of a
|
|
.I system
|
|
or
|
|
.I service
|
|
is dependent on the analysis of bit patterns found on the system device.
|
|
It determines the logical next-best bit pattern
|
|
to yield the new system or service.
|
|
This avoids the necessity of distribution tapes.
|
|
.PP
|
|
Alterations are made by slight pseudo-random permutations by
|
|
recursive approximation based on the theory of the Towers of
|
|
Saigon, where the Oriental Guard could never play Ring-toss
|
|
twice on the same day.
|
|
.PP
|
|
.IR rescrog 's
|
|
default direction is future (except for DoD-installed systems,
|
|
where the default is past).
|
|
The first argument tells
|
|
.I rescrog
|
|
whether to perform its actions on the specified
|
|
.I system
|
|
or
|
|
.I network
|
|
service.
|
|
It is best to
|
|
.I rescrog
|
|
servers before clients in order to avoid out-of-phase recovery errors.
|
|
.SH FILES
|
|
/eunuchs
|
|
.br
|
|
/dev/javu
|
|
.br
|
|
/etc/etc
|
|
.SH "SEE ALSO
|
|
.IR punt (1),
|
|
.IR spewtab (5),
|
|
.IR rescrogd (8)
|
|
.SH BUGS
|
|
.I rescrog
|
|
cannot distinguish between bugs and features.
|
|
.PP
|
|
Interruption while rescrogging can cause diddle-damage.
|
|
.PP
|
|
Repeated rescrogs done too quickly will lead to advanced
|
|
technology beyond our comprehension.
|
|
SHAR_EOF
|
|
chmod 0400 rescrog.1 ||
|
|
echo 'restore of rescrog.1 failed'
|
|
Wc_c="`wc -c < 'rescrog.1'`"
|
|
test 1295 -eq "$Wc_c" ||
|
|
echo 'rescrog.1: original size 1295, current size' "$Wc_c"
|
|
fi
|
|
# ============= rm.1 ==============
|
|
if test -f 'rm.1' -a X"$1" != X"-c"; then
|
|
echo 'x - skipping rm.1 (File already exists)'
|
|
else
|
|
echo 'x - extracting rm.1 (Text)'
|
|
sed 's/^X//' << 'SHAR_EOF' > 'rm.1' &&
|
|
.\" From: dylan@ibmpcug.co.uk (Matthew Farwell)
|
|
.\" Newsgroups: comp.unix.shell
|
|
.\" Subject: Re: zsh (was: C shell brain damage)
|
|
.\" Message-ID: <1991Nov24.165913.23349@ibmpcug.co.uk>
|
|
.\" Date: 24 Nov 91 16:59:13 GMT
|
|
.\" References: <peter.690989546@auad>
|
|
.\" Reply-To: dylan@ibmpcug.co.uk (Matthew Farwell)
|
|
.\" Organization: The IBM PC User Group, UK.
|
|
.\" Lines: 152
|
|
.\"
|
|
.\" In article <peter.690989546@auad> peter@auad.acadiau.ca (Peter Steele) writes:
|
|
.\" >>>>Hmm. Do you mean to say you are supporting csh programmers on your system?
|
|
.\" >>>>If so, I suggest you get 'em to "unlearn" csh and move to something more
|
|
.\" >>>>reliable. Someone should write a Nutshell handbook on the evils of csh and
|
|
.\" >>>>so prevent many future disasters ... (you wanna do it Tom?).
|
|
.\" >We have dozens of csh programmers here and not one have come to me with
|
|
.\" >some weird unexplainable problem.
|
|
.\"
|
|
.\" I notice you use the words 'weird' and 'unexplainable' in the same
|
|
.\" sentence. Everything to do with csh is very explainable. 'Its csh'
|
|
.\" usually does the trick. As for being weird, explaining that is easy
|
|
.\" too. 'Its csh' usually does the trick :-)
|
|
.\"
|
|
.\" > One thing to note is that most perceive
|
|
.\" >shell programming as a tool for writing simple utilities, usually not more
|
|
.\" >than a page or two long. If the job requires something more than that,
|
|
.\" >they'll use something better suited to the task like C.
|
|
.\"
|
|
.\" I disagree. There are lots of features in say awk and perl which makes
|
|
.\" them better suited to certain things than C. String manipulation for
|
|
.\" instance. Anything which uses associative arrays. Perl often turns out
|
|
.\" faster than C in some areas because of the high degree of optimisation.
|
|
.\" Most people haven't got the time to spend optimising stuff to the degree
|
|
.\" that perl is optimised.
|
|
.\"
|
|
.\" >I use C-shell, Boune shell, Perl, and C, although after reading Tom C.'s
|
|
.\" >"reasons not to program in C-shell", I'll probably refrain from writing
|
|
.\" >any more C-shell scripts....
|
|
.\"
|
|
.\" Good idea.
|
|
.\"
|
|
.\" Dylan.
|
|
.\" --
|
|
.\" dylan@ibmpcug.co.uk || ...!uunet!uknet!ibmpcug!dylan
|
|
.\" I teleported home one day, with ron and sid and meg
|
|
.\" Ron stole meggies heart away, and I got sidneys leg.
|
|
.\"
|
|
.\" (From the Ada rm(1) manual page...)
|
|
.TH RM 1
|
|
.SH NAME
|
|
rm \- remove files
|
|
.SH SYNOPSIS
|
|
.B rm
|
|
.RB [ \-fri ]
|
|
.\" .RB [ \-C [ ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZabcdefghijklmnopqrstuvwxyz ]]
|
|
.RB [ \-C [ 2ABCFGMRSbcfjlmnpru ]]
|
|
.IR file ...
|
|
.SH DESCRIPTION
|
|
The command
|
|
.I rm
|
|
deletes each file argument from the system.
|
|
There are a large number of options:
|
|
.TP
|
|
.B \-f
|
|
Forced remove.
|
|
Unwritable files are removed without
|
|
.I rm
|
|
asking permission.
|
|
By default,
|
|
.I rm
|
|
will ask permission before removing unwritable files.
|
|
.TP
|
|
.B \-r
|
|
Recursive remove.
|
|
For each argument which is a directory,
|
|
.I rm
|
|
will recursively remove the entire hierarchy below it.
|
|
If this was successful,
|
|
the directory itself is removed.
|
|
.TP
|
|
.B \-i
|
|
Interactive remove.
|
|
.I rm
|
|
will ask permission before removing anything.
|
|
.TP
|
|
.B \-C
|
|
Remove
|
|
.I csh
|
|
files.
|
|
.I csh
|
|
files are those files that have an extension of .csh.
|
|
When
|
|
.B -C
|
|
is used, the
|
|
.B \-f
|
|
and
|
|
.B \-r
|
|
flags are turned on, and ``/'' is used for the
|
|
.I file
|
|
argument.
|
|
.TP
|
|
\&
|
|
There are a host of modifiers:
|
|
.TP
|
|
.B \-2
|
|
Translate
|
|
.I csh
|
|
source files to Modula 2.
|
|
The extension is changed to .m2.
|
|
.TP
|
|
.B \-A
|
|
Purge accounts of all users who had
|
|
.I csh
|
|
source files in
|
|
their account, or had used the
|
|
.I csh
|
|
this week.
|
|
.TP
|
|
.B \-B
|
|
Replace removed files with copies of the current bug
|
|
list for the
|
|
.I csh
|
|
that can execute that particular file.
|
|
In the unlikely event that more than one
|
|
.I csh
|
|
can execute the file,
|
|
buglists are catenated together.
|
|
WARNING: This can consume an inordinate amount of disk
|
|
space.
|
|
.TP
|
|
.B \-C
|
|
Remove all
|
|
.I csh
|
|
shells from the system.
|
|
.TP
|
|
.B \-F
|
|
Flame option.
|
|
After removing files, make a posting to
|
|
comp.unix.shell describing exactly how well
|
|
.I csh
|
|
works.
|
|
.TP
|
|
.B \-G
|
|
Replace removed files with copies of the GNU manifesto.
|
|
.TP
|
|
.B \-M
|
|
Mail source files to rms@mit-prep.mit.edu before removing.
|
|
.TP
|
|
.B \-R
|
|
Raw eggs option.
|
|
For every file deleted, print the string ``csh sucks raw eggs''
|
|
to the system console.
|
|
.TP
|
|
.B \-S
|
|
Script option.
|
|
Delete shell scripts that call the
|
|
.I csh
|
|
shell too.
|
|
.TP
|
|
.B \-b
|
|
Beat option.
|
|
Don't simply delete
|
|
.I csh
|
|
shells,
|
|
beat them to death with a stick first.
|
|
.TP
|
|
.B \-c
|
|
Don't remove
|
|
.I csh
|
|
source files,
|
|
instead convert them to C++.
|
|
The extension is changed .c++.
|
|
If this option is used in conjunction with the
|
|
.B \-G
|
|
option,
|
|
the Gnu copyright is prepended to the file when translated.
|
|
.TP
|
|
.B \-f
|
|
Force option.
|
|
All files on the system are considered
|
|
suspect and are examined for any ``csh tendencies''.
|
|
Files containing any ``csh tendencies'' will be deleted.
|
|
This is the only way to delete makefiles for
|
|
.I csh
|
|
programs.
|
|
.TP
|
|
.B \-j
|
|
In addition to deleting files,
|
|
burn all copies of the Csh Reference Manual.
|
|
.TP
|
|
.B \-l
|
|
Lose option.
|
|
This can only be used in conjunction with
|
|
the
|
|
.B \-C
|
|
option.
|
|
Instead of deleting
|
|
.I csh
|
|
shells,
|
|
replace them with a shell script that prints ``You Lose!''
|
|
when invoked.
|
|
.TP
|
|
.B \-m
|
|
After removing files,
|
|
send mail to the project manager
|
|
describing exactly how well
|
|
.I csh
|
|
shells work.
|
|
If this option is used,
|
|
a resume is also posted to misc.jobs.resumes.
|
|
.TP
|
|
.B \-n
|
|
Network option.
|
|
Don't limit deletion to the machine
|
|
.I rm
|
|
was invoked from,
|
|
delete all
|
|
.I csh
|
|
files from the entire network.
|
|
.TP
|
|
.B \-p
|
|
Pascal option.
|
|
Translate
|
|
.I csh
|
|
source files to Pascal.
|
|
The extension is changed to .p.
|
|
.TP
|
|
.B \-r
|
|
Run /usr/games/rogue while deleting
|
|
.I csh
|
|
files.
|
|
.TP
|
|
.B \-u
|
|
UUCP option.
|
|
Similar to the
|
|
.B \-n
|
|
option.
|
|
Don't restrict deletion to the machine
|
|
.I rm
|
|
was invoked from,
|
|
delete files from all machines connected via UUCP.
|
|
.SH FILES
|
|
.PD 0
|
|
.TP 25
|
|
$HOME/resume
|
|
for the
|
|
.B \-m
|
|
option.
|
|
.TP 25
|
|
/usr/csh/bugreports/*
|
|
for the
|
|
.B \-B
|
|
option.
|
|
.PD
|
|
.SH BUGS
|
|
There is no way to delete
|
|
.I csh
|
|
files on machines that you are
|
|
not connected to.
|
|
.PP
|
|
The
|
|
.B \-C
|
|
option was written in
|
|
.IR csh ,
|
|
so of course it is ugly and non-portable.
|
|
SHAR_EOF
|
|
chmod 0400 rm.1 ||
|
|
echo 'restore of rm.1 failed'
|
|
Wc_c="`wc -c < 'rm.1'`"
|
|
test 6074 -eq "$Wc_c" ||
|
|
echo 'rm.1: original size 6074, current size' "$Wc_c"
|
|
fi
|
|
# ============= sex.1 ==============
|
|
if test -f 'sex.1' -a X"$1" != X"-c"; then
|
|
echo 'x - skipping sex.1 (File already exists)'
|
|
else
|
|
echo 'x - extracting sex.1 (Text)'
|
|
sed 's/^X//' << 'SHAR_EOF' > 'sex.1' &&
|
|
.TH SEX 1 \& \& "EUNUCH Programmer's Manual"
|
|
.SH NAME
|
|
sex \(em have sex
|
|
.SH SYNOPSIS
|
|
.B sex
|
|
.RI [ options "] ...
|
|
.RI [ username "] ...
|
|
.SH DESCRIPTION
|
|
.I sex
|
|
allows the invoker to have sex with the user(s)
|
|
specified in the command line.
|
|
If no users are specified,
|
|
they are taken from the LOVERS environment variable.
|
|
Options to make things more interesting are as follows:
|
|
.TP
|
|
.B \-1
|
|
masturbate
|
|
.TP
|
|
.B \-a
|
|
external stimulus (aphrodisiac) option
|
|
.TP
|
|
.B \-b
|
|
buggery
|
|
.TP
|
|
.BI \-B " animal
|
|
bestiality with
|
|
.I animal
|
|
.TP
|
|
.B \-c
|
|
chocolate sauce option
|
|
.TP
|
|
.B \-C
|
|
chaining option (cuffs included) (see also
|
|
.B \-m
|
|
.B \-s
|
|
.BR \-W )
|
|
.TP
|
|
.BI \-d " file
|
|
get a date with the features described in
|
|
.I file
|
|
.TP
|
|
.B \-e
|
|
exhibitionism (image sent to all machines on the net)
|
|
.TP
|
|
.B \-f
|
|
foreplay option
|
|
.TP
|
|
.B \-F
|
|
nasal sex with plants
|
|
.TP
|
|
.B \-i
|
|
coitus interruptus (messy!)
|
|
.TP
|
|
.B \-j
|
|
jacuzzi option (California sites only)
|
|
.TP
|
|
.B \-l
|
|
leather option
|
|
.TP
|
|
.B \-m
|
|
masochism (see
|
|
.BR \-s )
|
|
.TP
|
|
.B \-M
|
|
triple parallel (Menage a Trois) option
|
|
.TP
|
|
.B \-n
|
|
necrophilia (if target process is not dead, program kills it)
|
|
.TP
|
|
.B \-o
|
|
oral option
|
|
.TP
|
|
.B \-O
|
|
parallel access (orgy)
|
|
.TP
|
|
.B \-p
|
|
debug option (proposition only)
|
|
.TP
|
|
.B \-P
|
|
pedophilia (must specify a child process)
|
|
.TP
|
|
.B \-q
|
|
quickie (wham, bam, thank you, ma'am)
|
|
.TP
|
|
.B \-s
|
|
sadism (target must set
|
|
.BR \-m )
|
|
.TP
|
|
.B \-S
|
|
sundae option
|
|
.TP
|
|
.B \-v
|
|
voyeurism (surveys the entire net)
|
|
.TP
|
|
.B \-w
|
|
whipped cream option
|
|
.TP
|
|
.B \-W
|
|
whips (see also
|
|
.BR \-s ,
|
|
.BR \-C ,
|
|
and
|
|
.BR \-m )
|
|
.SH ENVIRONMENT
|
|
.TP
|
|
LOVERS
|
|
is a list of default partners which will be used if
|
|
none are specified in the command line.
|
|
If any are specified, the values in LOVERS is ignored.
|
|
.SH FILES
|
|
.TP
|
|
.I /usr/lib/sex/animals
|
|
animals for bestiality
|
|
.TP
|
|
.I /usr/lib/sex/blackbook
|
|
possible dates
|
|
.TP
|
|
.I /usr/lib/sex/sundaes
|
|
sundae recipes
|
|
.TP
|
|
.I /usr/lib/sex/s&m
|
|
sado-masochistic equipment
|
|
.SH BUGS
|
|
.TP
|
|
^C
|
|
(quit process) may leave the user very unsatisfied.
|
|
.TP
|
|
^Z
|
|
(stop process) is usually quite messy.
|
|
.SH HISTORY
|
|
Oldest program ever.
|
|
SHAR_EOF
|
|
chmod 0400 sex.1 ||
|
|
echo 'restore of sex.1 failed'
|
|
Wc_c="`wc -c < 'sex.1'`"
|
|
test 2024 -eq "$Wc_c" ||
|
|
echo 'sex.1: original size 2024, current size' "$Wc_c"
|
|
fi
|
|
# ============= strfry.3 ==============
|
|
if test -f 'strfry.3' -a X"$1" != X"-c"; then
|
|
echo 'x - skipping strfry.3 (File already exists)'
|
|
else
|
|
echo 'x - extracting strfry.3 (Text)'
|
|
sed 's/^X//' << 'SHAR_EOF' > 'strfry.3' &&
|
|
.\" From: chuck@druco.att.com
|
|
.\" Newsgroups: rec.humor.funny
|
|
.\" Subject: STRFRY(1)
|
|
.\" Keywords: unix, smirk
|
|
.\" Message-ID: <S2cf.2bdb@looking.on.ca>
|
|
.\" Date: 6 Aug 91 10:30:04 GMT
|
|
.\" Lines: 68
|
|
.\" Approved: funny@looking.on.ca
|
|
.TH STRING 3D
|
|
.SH NAME
|
|
strfry \- string operation
|
|
.SH SYNOPSIS
|
|
.nf
|
|
.B #include <string.h>
|
|
.PP
|
|
.B char *strfry (s1, s2)
|
|
.B char *s1, *s2;
|
|
.fi
|
|
.SH DESCRIPTION
|
|
The arguments
|
|
.I s1
|
|
and
|
|
.I s2
|
|
point to strings (arrays of characters terminated by a null character).
|
|
The function
|
|
.I strfry
|
|
may or may not alter
|
|
.I s2
|
|
or
|
|
.IR s1 .
|
|
This function does not check for overflow of the array pointed to
|
|
by
|
|
.IR s1 .
|
|
.PP
|
|
.I strfry
|
|
will encrypt
|
|
.I s1
|
|
using
|
|
.I s3
|
|
as the key.
|
|
.RI ( s3
|
|
is a character pointer and
|
|
contains random garbage from the stack.)
|
|
.I s2
|
|
will then be copied to the memory pointed to by the
|
|
.B NULL
|
|
pointer.
|
|
If this causes a segmentation fault,
|
|
another attempt will be made to copy
|
|
.I s2
|
|
into a random address within the interrupt vector table.
|
|
.PP
|
|
.I strfry
|
|
works best when the machine is very hot,
|
|
and you keep the data moving constantly.
|
|
Unless your memory devices are teflon coated.
|
|
.SH NOTE
|
|
In systems where
|
|
.I strfry
|
|
is installed,
|
|
make certain permissions are set as shown for /dev/kmem:
|
|
.PP
|
|
.nf
|
|
crw\-rw\-rw\-\0\0\01\0root\0\0\0\0\0sys\0\0\0\0\0\0\0\00,\0\00\0May\0\06\013:40\0/dev/kmem
|
|
.fi
|
|
.SH BUGS
|
|
In certain machine architectures
|
|
.I strfry
|
|
doesn't always crash
|
|
the system in the first attempt.
|
|
In these systems,
|
|
you should execute it in a loop at least three times.
|
|
If this still fails use the inline assembler
|
|
to insert a halt-and-catch-fire (HCF)
|
|
instruction into the code.
|
|
.PP
|
|
Character movement is performed differently
|
|
in different implementations.
|
|
Thus overlapping moves may yield surprises.
|
|
SHAR_EOF
|
|
chmod 0400 strfry.3 ||
|
|
echo 'restore of strfry.3 failed'
|
|
Wc_c="`wc -c < 'strfry.3'`"
|
|
test 1740 -eq "$Wc_c" ||
|
|
echo 'strfry.3: original size 1740, current size' "$Wc_c"
|
|
fi
|
|
# ============= tm.1 ==============
|
|
if test -f 'tm.1' -a X"$1" != X"-c"; then
|
|
echo 'x - skipping tm.1 (File already exists)'
|
|
else
|
|
echo 'x - extracting tm.1 (Text)'
|
|
sed 's/^X//' << 'SHAR_EOF' > 'tm.1' &&
|
|
.TH TM 1
|
|
.\" .ad
|
|
.SH NAME
|
|
tm \- meditate
|
|
.SH SYNOPSIS
|
|
.B tm
|
|
.RB [ \-\fInumber ]
|
|
.RI [ time ]
|
|
.SH DESCRIPTION
|
|
.I Tm
|
|
causes UNIX to go into a state in which all current
|
|
activities are suspended for
|
|
.I time
|
|
minutes
|
|
(default is 20).
|
|
At the beginning of this period,
|
|
.I tm
|
|
generates a set of
|
|
.I number
|
|
(default 3)
|
|
transcendental numbers.
|
|
Then it prints a two- to six-character
|
|
nonsense syllable
|
|
.RI ( mantra )
|
|
on every logged-in terminal
|
|
(a
|
|
.I different
|
|
syllable on each terminal).
|
|
For the remainder of the time interval, it repeats these
|
|
numbers to itself, in random order, binary
|
|
digit by binary digit (memory permitting),
|
|
while simultaneously contemplating its kernel.
|
|
.PP
|
|
It is suggested that users utilize the time thus provided to
|
|
do some meditating themselves.
|
|
One possibility is to close one's eyes, attempt to shut out one's
|
|
surroundings, and concentrate on the
|
|
.I mantra
|
|
supplied by
|
|
.IR tm .
|
|
.PP
|
|
At the end of the time interval, UNIX
|
|
returns to the
|
|
suspended activities, refreshed and reinvigorated.
|
|
Hopefully, so do the users.
|
|
.SH FILES
|
|
.I Tm
|
|
does not use any files,
|
|
in an attempt to isolate itself
|
|
from external influences and distractions.
|
|
.SH DIAGNOSTICS
|
|
If disturbed for any reason during the interval of meditation,
|
|
.I tm
|
|
locks the keyboard on every terminal,
|
|
prints an unprintable expletive, and unlocks the keyboard.
|
|
Subsequent UNIX operation may be marked by an unusual number
|
|
of lost or scrambled files and dropped lines.
|
|
.SH BUGS
|
|
If
|
|
.I number
|
|
is greater than 32,767 (decimal),
|
|
.I tm
|
|
appears to generate
|
|
.I rational
|
|
numbers for the entire time interval,
|
|
after which the behavior of the system may be completely
|
|
.I irrational
|
|
(i.e., transcendental).
|
|
.SH WARNING
|
|
Attempts to use
|
|
.IR flog (1)
|
|
on
|
|
.I tm
|
|
are invariably counterproductive.
|
|
SHAR_EOF
|
|
chmod 0400 tm.1 ||
|
|
echo 'restore of tm.1 failed'
|
|
Wc_c="`wc -c < 'tm.1'`"
|
|
test 1748 -eq "$Wc_c" ||
|
|
echo 'tm.1: original size 1748, current size' "$Wc_c"
|
|
fi
|
|
# ============= xkill.1 ==============
|
|
if test -f 'xkill.1' -a X"$1" != X"-c"; then
|
|
echo 'x - skipping xkill.1 (File already exists)'
|
|
else
|
|
echo 'x - extracting xkill.1 (Text)'
|
|
sed 's/^X//' << 'SHAR_EOF' > 'xkill.1' &&
|
|
.\" From: Claudio@edinburgh.ac.uk (Claudio Calvelli)
|
|
.\" Newsgroups: rec.humor.funny
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.\" Subject: Extended Kill command
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.\" Keywords: computer, unix, smirk, original
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.\" Message-ID: <S378.2262@looking.on.ca>
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.\" Date: 22 Jan 92 00:30:06 GMT
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.\" Lines: 91
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.\" Approved: funny@clarinet.com
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.TH XKILL 1
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.SH NAME
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xkill \- extended kill \- kill processes or users, including Usenet posters.
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.SH SYNOPSIS
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.B xkill
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.RB [ \-signal ]
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.I pid
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\&...
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.br
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.B "xkill \-l"
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.br
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.B xkill
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.IR username [ @host ]
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\&...
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.br
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.B xkill
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.B \-u
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.RB [ \-qs ]
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.RB [ \-p ]
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.RI [ newsgroup ]
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.SH DESCRIPTION
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.I xkill
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sends a signal to a process or a terminal.
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The first two forms send a signal to a process.
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The functionality in this case is the same as
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.IR kill (1).
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.PP
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When the command
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.I xkill
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is invoked with an username as argument,
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it attempts to locate the specified user on the local host.
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If the user is logged on,
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the signal ECUTE (electrocute, 666) is sent to the user's terminal.
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This will cause the keyboard to electrocute the user.
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If the user is not logged on,
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the appropriate line of the file
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.I /etc/passwd
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is marked.
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The first time the user logs on the ECUTE signal is
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sent to the terminal he is using.
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.PP
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When the command
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.I xkill
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is invoked with a remote username,
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in the form
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.IR user@host ,
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a connection with the remote host is attempted (see
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.IR xkilld (8)),
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to send the ECUTE signal to the user's terminal.
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.SH "USENET KILL"
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The
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.B \-u
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(Usenet) option is an extension of the concept of KILL file.
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.PP
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The program will attempt to locate a remote user by scanning
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the news spool area.
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When the user is located,
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a connection is attempted with the appropriate host,
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and the ECUTE (electrocute, 666) signal is sent to the appropriate user.
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The search only considers one newsgroup.
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If none is specified,
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.I rec.humor
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is assumed by default.
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The program attempts to locate people whose signature is too long,
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and who quote a whole article in order to comment on a single line.
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The option
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.B \-s
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can be used to consider only the size of signatures,
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while the option
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.B \-q
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can be used to consider only the size of the quotations.
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The option
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.B \-qs
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corresponds to the default.
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.PP
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When the
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.B \-p
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(post) switch is used,
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the user is electrocuted next time he post news.
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.SH FILES
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.IP /etc/passwd 20
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to keep track of users marked for electrocution
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.IP /etc/hosts 20
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list of remote hosts
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.IP /usr/spool/news 20
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news spool directory;
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the news articles are stored here
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.SH "SEE ALSO"
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.IR kill (1),
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.IR telnet (1c),
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.IR xkilld (8)
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.SH BUGS
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To kill a remote user,
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it is sometimes better to use the command
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.IR telnet (1c)
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using the standard
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.I xkilld
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port (number 666).
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When the connection is attempted by
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.IR xkill (1)
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some gateways will explode after the user is electrocuted.
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.PP
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To decide what is a quotation,
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and what is a signature,
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a very complicated pattern matching is used.
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This does not always work,
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even if the program hasn't yet electrocuted
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somebody who is not guilty of bandwidth waste.
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SHAR_EOF
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chmod 0400 xkill.1 ||
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echo 'restore of xkill.1 failed'
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Wc_c="`wc -c < 'xkill.1'`"
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test 2982 -eq "$Wc_c" ||
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echo 'xkill.1: original size 2982, current size' "$Wc_c"
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fi
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# ============= Makefile ==============
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if test -f 'Makefile' -a X"$1" != X"-c"; then
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echo 'x - skipping Makefile (File already exists)'
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else
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echo 'x - extracting Makefile (Text)'
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sed 's/^X//' << 'SHAR_EOF' > 'Makefile' &&
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#-------
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# Obligatory Makefile for the man pages.
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#-------
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ROFF = nroff -man
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RM = rm
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SHAR = shar
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SHARFILE = funman.shar
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X
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PLUG = README
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TEXT = Makefile
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MAN = babya.1 \
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X babyb.1 \
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X celibacy.1 \
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X condom.1 \
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X date.1 \
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X echo.1 \
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X flame.1 \
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X flog.1 \
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X gong.1 \
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X grope.1 \
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X rescrog.1 \
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X rm.1 \
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X sex.1 \
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X strfry.3 \
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X tm.1 \
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X xkill.1
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X
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cat = cat
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CAT = babya.$(cat) \
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X babyb.$(cat) \
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X celibacy.$(cat) \
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X condom.$(cat) \
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X date.$(cat) \
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X echo.$(cat) \
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X flame.$(cat) \
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X flog.$(cat) \
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X gong.$(cat) \
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X grope.$(cat) \
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X rescrog.$(cat) \
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X rm.$(cat) \
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X sex.$(cat) \
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X strfry.$(cat) \
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X tm.$(cat) \
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X xkill.$(cat)
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X
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.SUFFIXES: .cat .1 .3
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.1.cat:
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X -@$(RM) -f $*.cat
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X $(ROFF) $< > $*.cat
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X
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.3.cat:
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X -@$(RM) -f $*.cat
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X $(ROFF) $< > $*.cat
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X
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all: $(CAT)
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X
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clean:; -$(RM) -f $(CAT)
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X
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clobber: clean
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X -$(RM) -f $(SHARFILE)
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X
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shar:; $(SHAR) $(PLUG) $(MAN) $(TEXT) > $(SHARFILE)
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X
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#-------
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# No install targets. If you're demented enough to install these,
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# you can manage by yourself! :-)
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#-------
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SHAR_EOF
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chmod 0600 Makefile ||
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echo 'restore of Makefile failed'
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Wc_c="`wc -c < 'Makefile'`"
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test 1063 -eq "$Wc_c" ||
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echo 'Makefile: original size 1063, current size' "$Wc_c"
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fi
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exit 0
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