68 lines
3.4 KiB
Plaintext
68 lines
3.4 KiB
Plaintext
"World's Greatest Light Bulb Joke" from the column Back End by John C. Dvorak
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in DEC PROFESSIONAL:
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Q: How many DEC employees does it take to change a light bulb?
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A:
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2 People - preliminary discussion on concept of change
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1 Person - devise and write formal bulb architecture
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2 People - feasibility study and timetable of events
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2 People - produce four utilities to reduce screw-in time (in addition to the
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electric utility)
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1 Person - maintain ISO and DEC standards (sockets, voltage, AC/DC)
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4 People - commonality task force on bulb change
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15 People - change bulb
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5 People - perform bulb functional test
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2 People - perform bulb load test
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3 People - perform bulb regression test
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1 Person - perform bulb performance analysis
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1 Person - perform bulb bottleneck analysis
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1 Person - follow-up study (bulb merge feasibility)
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1 Person - interface with Utilities Commission
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1 Person - interface with users. (Did they want incandescent when we only
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supply non-tunable flourescent point product?) BAX (Bulbs Are
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eXpensive)!
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5 People - perform BOSE (Build Other Socket Enhancements)
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compatibility/architecture study.
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3 People - ensure form (round/square, clear/frosted) follows function
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(wattage, 120/240 volts, visible/ultraviolet, flashing,
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flood/spot).
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3 People - implement temporary alternative bulb socket for already(!?)
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existing, successful, and profitable socket (bulb-in-one).
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5 People - determine how to market/package/distribute temporary alternative
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bulb socket.
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10 People - determine how to perform bulb change product split (control:
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switches, dimmers; versus implementation: screw-in torque,
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recovery strategies)
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1 Person - interface with utilities commission QA group
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1 Person - submit to BDC (Bulb Distribution Center)
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1 Person - set up BPR (Bulb Problem Reports) system
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10 People - answer customer BPRs
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11 People - football team to challenge bulb changers
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t up BPR (Bulb Problem Reports) system
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10 People - answer customer BPRs
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11 People - football team to challenge bulb c
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X-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-X
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Another file downloaded from: NIRVANAnet(tm)
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& the Temple of the Screaming Electron Jeff Hunter 510-935-5845
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The Salted Slug Strange 408-454-9368
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Burn This Flag Zardoz 408-363-9766
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realitycheck Poindexter Fortran 415-567-7043
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Lies Unlimited Mick Freen 415-583-4102
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Tomorrow's 0rder of Magnitude Finger_Man 415-961-9315
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My Dog Bit Jesus Suzanne D'Fault 510-658-8078
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New Dork Sublime Demented Pimiento 415-566-0126
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Specializing in conversations, obscure information, high explosives,
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arcane knowledge, political extremism, diverse sexuality,
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insane speculation, and wild rumours. ALL-TEXT BBS SYSTEMS.
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Full access for first-time callers. We don't want to know who you are,
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where you live, or what your phone number is. We are not Big Brother.
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"Raw Data for Raw Nerves"
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X-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-X
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