547 lines
13 KiB
Plaintext
547 lines
13 KiB
Plaintext
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(O+< The Oxygen People Present.. >)
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\____________________________
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-O+/\-O+/\-O+/\-O+/\-O+/\-O+/\-O+/\-O+/\-O+/\-O+/\-O+/\-O+/\-O+/\-O+/\-O+/\-O+
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[ K I G H T L I N E ]
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-O+/\-O+/\-O+/\-O+/\-O+/\-O+/\-O+/\-O+/\-O+/\-O+/\-O+/\-O+/\-O+/\-O+/\-O+/\-O+
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[Kightline (O+)] THE KIGHTLINE
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++::+::++::+::++ +:::+:::+:::+
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THE KIGHTLINE is a small homemade bbs/ae that used to run not more
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than a year ago. We'd like to share some actual experiences that happened
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upon the line with normal everyday users that logged on. These are actual
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RECORDED chats in the bbs/ae with the sysop, Jack the Ripper, who's real
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name happens to be Jack.
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[Kightline (O+)] ONE CALM EVENING-
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++::+::++::+::++ +:::+:::+:::+:::+
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[Phone rings, Jack picks it up while typing on computer]
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JACK
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Good evening: Knightline. May I help you?
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[click]
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[later phone rings again]
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JACK
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Good evening: Knightline--please don't hang up. The system
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is just temporarily down. Can I help you?
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USER
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Uhh. Yeah, dude. Where's the system?
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JACK
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Like I said, its down right now--I'm working on some stuff.
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Is there something you needed really bad or something?
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USER
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[caugh, pause] Yeah, whens the system going to be back up?
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JACK
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When I'm done with this mod. It shouldn't be more than
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an hour.
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USER
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Yeah, ok, well, bye.
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JACK
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Sorry about that, b--
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[click]
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[1 hour later the person calls back 5 times and each time
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when Jack's modem answers the USER's modem doesn't. Sixth Ring.]
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JACK
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Kightline. Is there some problem?
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[click]
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[ring--modem answers but no carrier on receiving end. Jack
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intervenes]
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JACK
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Kightline. What's your problem?
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USER
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Where's the system, dude?
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JACK
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What the fuck are you talking about? It just answered 5 times!
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USER
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It did?? Oh, I guess I was waiting for voice.
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JACK
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What's your username?
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USER
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[pause] You want my name?
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JACK
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Yeah, I'd like to know what to call you besides asshole.
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USER
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[pause] Well, fuckhead, my name is Eddie.
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JACK
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No no no you idiot, what is your username?
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USER
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What the hell is it to you, fuckface?
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JACK
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I'm the sysop and if you don't tell me I'll delete you.
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USER
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Fine, asshole, see what I care.
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JACK
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Oh, fuck off. [Jack hangs up]
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[1 min later the user calls back and logs on.]
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>Active: MAIN BOARD<
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<Left: 10> (Page/OFF) ?=Menu ->FUCK YO
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--> A cold dark figure approaches from the mist! It's Jack the Ripper!
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Listen Asshole...Whats your problem???
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Fuck Yo
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--> One moment..
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[Sysop Menu]
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1 ... Delete User
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2 ... Change Username
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3 ... Change Password
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4 ... Change Phone
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5 ... Change Status
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6 ... Back to Chat
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[ret] Exit from Chat
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(1-6, [Return]) ->1
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[thus does the user die by deletion]
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[Kightline (O+)] ONE SAT. MORNING-
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++::+::++::+::++ +:::+:::+:::+:::+
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[Jack wakes up to find someone on the (extended) AE]
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[10:03 am]
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(>Page Sysop? Y
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Common, let the sysop sleep!
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[10:04 am]
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(>Log drive: s6 d1 v0
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New :YES
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[10:05 am]
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(>AE: Chat ON
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+>
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AE: Copy ON
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Is there something wrong?
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WHAT IS YOUR NAME?
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Jack. What's yours?
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KRACOWITZ
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Uh huh. Mind pressing return after your done typing a line?
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NO
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Oh kay. So, what kinda computer you got?
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TRS 80
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Ahh, I see. What kind?
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POCKET CALCULATOR
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Uh huh. Well, I don't think you're going to find much on the AE then with
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a pocket calculator (haahahhahahahha)
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WHATS SO FUNNY?
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Geeze, calm down, I was just kidding. So, what have you been doing? When
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did you log on?
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I DUNNO. NOTHING.
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Listen, the system isoverheating. Can you call back later?
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YEAH
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Ok, thanks, talk to you later, chatterbug.
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[click]
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[1 second later the phone rings]
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JACK
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Kightline. May I help you?
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USER
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Yeah, is the system up?
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JACK (*Grin*)
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Does it look like it?
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USER
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No. When's it gonna be up?
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JACK
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Now. Call back in 3 seconds and it'll be up.
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USER
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Great! I'll call back then.
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[click. 5 mins pass, and then 5 OTHER users log on before that
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same user calls back.]
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[5:32 pm]
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(>Page Sysop? Y
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Paging..
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[5:32 pm]
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(>AE: Chat
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+>
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AE: Copy ON
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Yeah, what can I do for you?
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HEY, REMEMBER ME? I CALLED EARLIER AND YOU TOLD ME TO CALL RIGHT BACK!
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Sure do. What happened?
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WHAT HAPPENED? I TURNED ON THE COMPUTER AND BOOTED EVERYTHING UP AND STUFF
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AND THEN TRIED TO CALL AND IT WAS BUSY! I'VE BEEN AUTODIALING FOR 8 HOURS NOW!
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The phone was open for five (5) minutes after you hung up voice. It takes
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you that long to boot your computer up?
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WELL...
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ANYWAY, WHERE'S THE SYSTEM?
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Where's the system? This IS the system? This is the AE we run on Saturdays,
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ya know?
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YOU MEAN I SPENT ALL THIS TIME TRYING TO LOG ONTO THIS?
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Wait a minute. What program are you using right now?
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LOTUS 1-3-5-7...IT'S NEW...HAS A BUILT IN TERMINAL PROGRAM.
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And that takes 5 minutes to boot up, eh?
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WELL, I MEAN, IT TAKES ALL 2.5 GIGOBYTES OF MY LOWER RAM MEMORY!
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Is that all, eh? (Caugh) Well, I hate to tell you, but unless you've got
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Apple compatability, I don't think you need to be on the AE.
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WHAT AE? I DON'T SEE THE GAME ANYWHERE?
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No no no...(Hahahahahah..No offense) AE stands for Ascii Express. Its an
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Apple up/downloading program..Oh, don't worry about it. Call back Monday
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when the system is up, ok?
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OH, OK, CAN WE CHAT SOME MORE?
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Sorry, I have to feed my salamander. Bye.
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BYE
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(>
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[click]
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AE: Hung up.
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[Kightline (O+)] ON THE TOWN W/THE BBS
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++::+::++::+::++ +:::+:::+:::+:::+:::+
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>Active: MAIN BOARD<
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<Left: 45> (Page/OFF) ?=Menu ->12
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>Active: DISCUSSION BOARD<
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<Left: 44> (Page/OFF) ?=Menu ->S
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<--> Scanning DISCUSSION Board <-->
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We're holding 35 msgs, one moment..
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List titles from? (1-35, <Cr>=New):<Cr>
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1. DISCUSSION BOARD
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2. HEY DUDES WHERE'S THE PARTY?
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3. HOW MANY TIMES I GOTTA TELLYA?
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--> 4. ALL WORK AND NO PLAY
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--> 5. AWAKE FAIR YORK
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--> 6. #*$#$*!)
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--> 7. (?) MAKE MY DAY (?)
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--> 8. (?) CRAP ON MY YARD (?)
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--> 9. (?) ONE LAST NOTE (?)
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--> 10. GO AWAY TRISTAN!
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T<itles, R<ead, Q<uit, J<ump, #<Read ->J
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List titles from? (1-35, <Cr>=New):30
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--> 30. 0TT0 MADD0X LIVES!
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--> 31. DO YOU WORSHIP YOUR LOCAL DUCK?
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--> 32. 0TT0 FUCKS DUCKS!!!111!!!!
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--> 33. NOW NOW CHILDREN
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--> 34. (?) BACK IN THE SADDLE (?)
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--> 35. FOR THE LAST TIME SHUT UP TRISTAN!
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T<itles, R<ead, Q<uit, J<ump, #<Read ->34
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Message 34: (?) BACK IN THE SADDLE (?)
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Message by: Tristan Farnon
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Level/Rank: Butthead Magoo <3>
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Written on: Tue Mar 11, 1986, 11:00 pm
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Well, after a long hard day I come home to find no one has logged on
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in ages! Where is everyone, I mean, even 0TT0 has been here! God...
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<Those who sleep, sleep. Those who don't have visine eyes.>
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-Tristan
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>Last: 34< (Cr) for next, Q<uit ->(Cr)
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T<itles, R<ead, Q<uit, J<ump, #<Read ->Q
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>Active: DISCUSSION BOARD<
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<Left: 9> (Page/OFF) ?=Menu ->P
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--> The sysop is around here somewhere. Press P to stop page.
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>Active: DISCUSSION BOARD<
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<Left: 9> (Page/ ON) ?=Menu ->P
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--> Paging now stopped. Press P to resume.
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>Active: DISCUSSION BOARD<
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<Left: 8> (Page/OFF) ?=Menu ->P
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--> The sysop is around here somewhere. Press P to stop page.
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>Active: DISCUSSION BOARD<
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<Left: 8> (Page/ ON) ?=Menu ->V
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Voting topic for 12/12/86:
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What size is yours?
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Enter your vote or [L]ist others:
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-=>BIG
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[One moment..]
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Do you mean I GOT A BIG DICK?n
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Do you mean A BIG MOTHER FUCKER?n
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[Filing]
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Results so far..
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Entry ## %
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HOW BIG IS -WHAT-?.......... 12 12.5
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IT CHANGES SIZE............. 9 8.0
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I GOT A BIG DICK............ 2 2.5
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A BIG MOTHER FUCKER......... 1 1.6
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UNMEASURABLE................ 1 1.6
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BIGGER THAN LIFE............ 1 1.6
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FUCK YOU.................... 1 1.6
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ONLY VICKI KNOWS............ 1 1.6
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BIG......................... 1 1.6
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Another topic on 12/25/86.
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>Active: DISCUSSION BOARD<
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<Left: 5> (Page/ ON) ?=Menu ->2
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>Active: BITCH BOARD<
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<Left: 5> (Page/ ON) ?=Menu ->P
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--> Paging now stopped. Press P to resume.
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>Active: BITCH BOARD<
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<Left: 5> (Page/OFF) ?=Menu ->P
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--> The sysop is not around.
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>Active: BITCH BOARD<
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<Left: 5> (Page/OFF) ?=Menu ->]xi
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You Have Found the Secret Password! ONTO the PIRATE BOARD YOU GO!
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>Active: UNDERGROUND BOARD<
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<Left: 3> (Page/OFF) ?=Menu ->P
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<--> Post in UNDERGROUND Board <-->
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We're holding 42 msgs, one moment..
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Title: HOW THE HELL DID I????
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20 lines at 20 columns. Press % to go into editor. Warning on line 15.
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HOW THE FUCK DID I GET ON THIS BOARD? WHAT HAPPENED?
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WHERE THE FUCK AM I?
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/
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/
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/
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/EX
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/ES
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/S
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HELP!!
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--> Only 5 lines left!
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WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT?
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(HEY, WHERE'S THE COMPUTER BOARD?)
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Editor (?=Menu):?
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S<ave, L<ist, R<ead, A<dd, T<oggle, E<dit, F<ix, D<elete, B<oog
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Editor (?=Menu):Save!
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Saving...Done.
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>Active: UNDERGROUND BOARD<
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<Left: 2> (Page/OFF) ?=Menu ->S
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<--> Scanning UNDERGROUND Board <-->
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We're holding 43 msgs, one moment..
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List titles from? (1-43, <Cr>=New):40
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--> 40. WHAT TH' HELL?
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--> 41. HEY UGLY!
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--> 42. HEY <READ>
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--> 43. WHERE THE HELL AM I???
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T<itles, R<ead, Q<uit, J<ump, #<Read ->42
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Message 42: HEY <READ>
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Message by: Jack the Ripper
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Level/Rank: Soopersysop <9>
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Written on: Tue Apr 11, 1986, 9:52 pm
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Do me a favor. The next person that says "HOW THE HELL DID I GET ON HERE?"
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Kill them, because that means they didn't read the bulletins and they are
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an idiot and probably new user/assholes.
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-Jack
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T<itles, R<ead, Q<uit, J<ump, #<Read ->Q
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>Active: UNDERGROUND BOARD<
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<Left: 1> (Page/OFF) ?=Menu ->P
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--> The sysop is not around.
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>Active: UNDERGROUND BOARD<
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<Left: 1> (Page/OFF) ?=Menu ->
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--> A cold dark figure approaches from the mist! It's Jack the Ripper!
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Hey, is there some problem, goo'buddy?
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NO. GO AWAY.
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Go away? But you were just paging me not more then a while ago?
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OH? WAS IT YOU I WAS PAGING? I DIN'T WANT TO TAK TO JAK THE IRPPAER. I
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WANTED TO TALKE TO THE SYSZOP.
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This is the sysop, buddy.
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OH? OH WEELL> I'LL CAL L BCAK WHEN OSMEONE ELSE IS HERE>
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What are you typing about? I'm the only one else who's here!
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OHKAY. GOODBYE.
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Wait a second, buccarroo. Lets get this straight.
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GO AWAY.
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Fine, be an asshole.
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FUCK YO
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--> One moment..
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[Sysop Menu]
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1 ... Delete User
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2 ... Change Username
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3 ... Change Password
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4 ... Change Phone
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5 ... Change Status
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6 ... Back to Chat
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[ret] Exit from Chat
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(1-6, [Return]) ->5
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Level (0-9):0
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Rank: Member of Asshole Anonymous
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--> Sysop is back..
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Take it easy.
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--> The sysop has disappeared! Maybe off to kill more innocents.
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Sorry, your time here is up. Call Kightline again!
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[click]
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[Kightline (O+)] WELL.. <CONC>
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++::+::++::+::++ +:::+:::+:::+
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WELL, NOT everything turns out as planned when running a
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bbs/ae. There WILL be users like that. But ya gotta stick in there. I
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cut some of the longer stuff (to save reading time) but I hope you enjoyed
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our little delve into the world of Kightline. Your system could be just
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like Jack's someday. (ho boy).
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And don't forget the ILLUSTRIOUS words of Mr. WANG BANG:
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">>> DUDE IF THE SYSTEM GOES INTO BASIC, PLEASE JUST TYPE RUN
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AND DON'T BE A DICK!! THANX!!"
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(>
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Call The Works BBS - 1600+ Textfiles! - [914]/238-8195 - 300/1200 - Always Open
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