44 lines
2.5 KiB
Plaintext
44 lines
2.5 KiB
Plaintext
A little humor... Hope no one's offended...
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(LA, California) Mattel announces their new line of Barbie products, the
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"Hacker Barbie." These new dolls will be released next month. The aim of
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these dolls is to revert the stereotype that women are numerophobic,
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computer-illiterate, and academically challenged.
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This new line of Barbie dolls comes equipped with Barbie's very own
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xterminal and UNIX documentation as well as ORA's "In a Nutshell" series.
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The Barbie is robed in a dirty button-up shirt and a pair of worn-out jeans
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with Casio all-purpose watches and thick glasses that can set ants on fire.
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Pocket protectors and HP calculators optional. The new Barbie has the
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incredible ability to stare at the screen without blinking her eyes and to
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go without eating or drinking for 12 hours straight. Her vocabulary mainly
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consists of technical terms such as "IP address," "TCP/IP," "kernel,"
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"NP-complete," and "Alpha AXP's."
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"We are very excited about this product," said John Olson, Marketing
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Executive, "and we hope that the Hacker Barbie will offset the damage
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incurred by the mathophobic Barbie." A year ago, Mattel released Barbie
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dolls that say, "Math is hard," with condescending companion Ken. The
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Hacker Barbie's Ken is an incompetent consultant who frequently asks Barbie
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for help.
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The leading feminists are equally excited about this new line of Barbie
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dolls. Naomi Wolf says, "I believe that these new dolls will finally
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terminate the notion that women are inherently inferior when it comes to
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mathematics and the sciences. However, I feel that Ken's hierarchical
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superiority would simply reinforce the patriarchy and oppress the masses."
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Mattel made no comment.
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Parents, however, are worried that they would become technologically behind
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by comparison to the children when the Hacker Barbie comes out. "My
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daughter Jenny plays with the prototype Hacker Barbie over yonder for two
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days," says Mrs. Mary Carlson of Oxford, Mississippi, "and as y'all know, she
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now pays my credit card bill. Ain't got no idea how she duz it, but she surely
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duz it. I jus don't wanna be looked upon as a dumb mama." Mattel will be
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offering free training courses for those who purchase the Hacker Barbie.
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The future Hacker Barbie will include several variations to deal with the
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complex aspects of Barbie. "Hacker Barbie Goes to Jail" will teach computer
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ethics to youngsters, while "BARB1E R1TES L1KE B1FF!!!" will serve as an
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introduction to expository writing.
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