116 lines
6.4 KiB
Plaintext
116 lines
6.4 KiB
Plaintext
From math.fu-berlin.de!fauern!xlink.net!sol.ctr.columbia.edu!usc!bloom-beacon.mit.edu!biosci!agate!library.ucla.edu!ddsw1!uunet!vtserf.cc.vt.edu!polaris.async.vt.edu!jfurr Tue Aug 10 00:09:19 1993
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Path: math.fu-berlin.de!fauern!xlink.net!sol.ctr.columbia.edu!usc!bloom-beacon.mit.edu!biosci!agate!library.ucla.edu!ddsw1!uunet!vtserf.cc.vt.edu!polaris.async.vt.edu!jfurr
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From: wiley@carson.u.washington.edu (Paul Abbott)
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Newsgroups: alt.humor.best-of-usenet
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Subject: [comp.os.os2.misc] Microsoft "Food For Windows"
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Message-ID: <23othe$jns@news.u.washington.edu>
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Date: 4 Aug 93 22:33:19 GMT
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Sender: jfurr@polaris.async.vt.edu (Joel Furr)
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Followup-To: alt.humor.best-of-usenet.d
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Organization: University of Washington
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Lines: 101
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Approved: best@polaris.async.vt.edu
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Newsgroups: comp.os.os2.misc
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From: stephen.drye@synapse.isis.org (Stephen Drye)
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Subject: Something to brighten your day... OS/2 related, too!
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This came off AppleLink, and I think it will find an appreciative audience
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here, too...
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-----------------------------------------------------------------------
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Monday, 10AM -- Chicago, Illinois -- Start-up software developer Cuisine
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International announced CUISINENET, the first internetworking program to
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seamlessly integrate word and food processing. Called a breakthrough for
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small restaurants and snack bars, Cuisine Chairman Mark Meigs confidently
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predicted sales of thousands of copies with shipments soon to begin.
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Monday, 4PM -- New York -- Cuisine International shares closed sharply
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higher on announcement of new CUISINENET product.
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Tuesday, 9AM -- Redmond, Washington -- Microsoft Chairman William H. Gates,
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III, announced that Microsoft Food for Windows would soon enter beta
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testing. Gates described the product as the first of a projected family of
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products to include Food for Windows, designed for small commercial dining
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establishments; Personal Food for Windows, designed for home kitchens;
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Portable Food for Windows, designed for lunchboxes; and, of course, at the
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high end, Food for Windows NC (Nouvelle Cuisine) designed for large
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institutional dining rooms. Asked by a reporter about CUISINENET, Gates
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said that he had never heard of the product, but was not surprised by it,
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because the software business is highly competitive, and Microsoft has to
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compete on its merits with many strong competitors, as the FTC had recently
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concluded.
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Tuesday, 3PM -- Chicago, Illinois -- An angry Mark Meigs showed reporters a
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copy of the nondisclosure agreement signed by Bill Gates, under which
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Cuisine International had informed Microsoft a year earlier about plans for
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CUISINENET. Meigs said that in hindsight, he should never have signed the
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agreement, as the only thing he learned from Microsoft was that Gates was
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considering making changes to Windows.
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Wednesday, 9AM -- Redmond, Washington -- Microsoft Chairman Bill Gates
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announced that Microsoft would soon publish specifications for the Windows
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Open Kitchen Architecture (WOKA), a series of design specifications to
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permit manufacturers of toasters, ranges, and other kitchen appliances to
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integrate their products into the forthcoming Microsoft Food for Windows
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line. Asked about reports of a nondisclosure agreement with Cuisine
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International for a similar product, Gates said that the other product was
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really at most a niche product, and would probably have less functionality
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than the food related features that Microsoft would be building into the
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new Unsaturated FAT File System which would be part of DOS 7.0. Gates said
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that he doubted there would be much interest in a dead-end solution that
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would not be able to keep up to date with advances in WOKA. Gates added
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that over 11,000 manufacturers of kitchen appliances were already having
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serious discussions with Microsoft about WOKA, and that he expected almost
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all important eaters of food to standardize on the WOKA environment.
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Wednesday, 10AM -- Redmond, Washington -- Microsoft Chairman Bill Gates
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announced that he would be giving the keynote speech at the American Bakers
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annual convention on "Nutrition at Your Tonguetip." Gates played down
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speculation that he would use the Bakers convention to introduce Microsoft
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Food for Windows, saying only that alpha testing was proceeding ahead of
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schedule, and the product would be shipped when it was ready.
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Wednesday, 11AM -- Redmond, Washington -- Microsoft Corporation announced
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that its Chairman, William H. Gates, III, had made a donation of over $250
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of personal funds to the Cordon Bleu to begin an endowment fund for the
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Bill Gates Professorship of Advanced Cookery. The famous French cooking
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school confirmed that it had agreed to be a beta site for the much
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discussed Food for Windows application sweet.
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Thursday, 9AM -- New York -- PCWeek Magazine reported in a copyrighted
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story that it had obtained a copy of correspondence from Microsoft to
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Cuisine International, demanding that the small developer of kitchen
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software cease using the Cuisine name, as it infringes on the trademark for
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Microsoft Food for Windows NC. Microsoft added that Chairman Mark Meigs
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would also have to change his own name as Mark infringed a copyright on the
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Windows Edit menu, Meigs infringed on the trademark on Meigs field in
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Microsoft Flight Simulator, and Chairman infringed the trademark on Bill
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Gates' title which he had acquired with personal funds from Mao's estate.
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Also, Microsoft advised that while the company did not actually have to
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move out of Chicago, use of the name on press releases infringed a
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trademark on Windows 4.0.
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Thursday, 4PM -- New York -- Cuisine International stock closed at 0-bid,
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1/16 asked.
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Friday, 9AM -- ? -- An anonymous spokesman for an unnamed Midwestern
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software developer announced the discontinuation of operations.
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Undescribed legal problems were cited as the reason. Others speculated
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that a failure to appreciate the competitive nature of the software
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business may have led to the company's sudden collapse.
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Monday, 9AM -- Microsoft Internal Mail
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From: billg
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To: mikem
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Re: Food Program
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Please see if you can reassign one of the 3,000 engineers from the OS/2
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virus development project to do a feasibility study on a food related
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program. Not sure what it would do. Low priority.
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--
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-- alt.humor.best-of-usenet --
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-- Funniest postings from USENET, altnet, and the worlds beyond --
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-- Moderator's address: best@polaris.async.vt.edu --
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