70 lines
2.0 KiB
Plaintext
70 lines
2.0 KiB
Plaintext
The BASTARD SYSTEM MANAGER FROM HELL #2
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So I'm interviewing for new Operators, and, as the Bastard System Manager
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from Hell, I have high standards. And as the Immediate Past Bastard Operator
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from Hell, I have even higher standards.
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I get the first applicant in.
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"Ok" I say "I'm just going to ask you some simple questions to guage your
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knowledge of Computing and Networking in relation to the Operations Field"
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"Sure"
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"Right. Question One. What's the best way to stop an individual posting
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nasty articles to news?"
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"Close their account"
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"Good - But can you elaborate?"
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"Delete all their files, Change their password to `Knobhead' and Erase any
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backups of their account"
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"Excellent. What is a killfile?"
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"Uh. It's a list of usernames/topics/news items etc that you wish the news-
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reader to automatically skip so you don't have to wade through rubbish"
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"Uh No. Remember I said pertaining to Operations. A killfile is in fact a
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file with a list of names of people you are going to have killed."
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"Oh. Of course."
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"Never mind. What is DCE?"
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"Delete, Close and Erase"
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"Good. DTR?"
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"DON'T TRY to RING. The Operator's watchword"
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"Well done. DBMS?"
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"Dont Bug My Supervisor. Probably the most important acronym around"
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"You betcha. Ok. A user comes to you with a complaint about another user
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sending sexually explicit email messages to them. What do you do?"
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"Take a copy of the messages, close the complainant's account (by accident)
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and extort money from the mailer by threatening to show their parents"
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"Good. I think you'll do nicely. Hang onto this wire..."
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"I don't think so."
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"Excellent. You passed the final test. You start tommorrow. Please leave
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by that door so as not to disturb the other applicants."
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BZZZZZEEEERETTT!
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Electrified Door Handle. Gets them every time. I think it's the "Complaints
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Dept" sign that draws them to it like moths to a globe...
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I push the body out onto the fire escape.
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"NEXT!"
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Simon Travaglia spt@waikato.ac.nz
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