108 lines
3.4 KiB
Plaintext
108 lines
3.4 KiB
Plaintext
BASTARD OPERATOR FROM HELL #4
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It's a thursday, and I'm in a good mood. It's payday. I think I'll take
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some calls. I put the phone back on the hook. It rings.
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"I've been trying to get you for hours!" the voice at the other end screams
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"Not, it can't be hours" I say, putting Blade Runner back into it's cover
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and looking at the back, "it was more like 114 minutes. I was on a long phone
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call with the big boss, trying to get you users some better facilities"
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Hook; Line; and Sinker...
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"Oh. I'm sorry."
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"That's ok, I'm a tolerant person" I make a mental note to change his password
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to something nasty in the next couple of days.
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"Um, I need to know how to rename a file" he says.
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Oh dear... Hang on, it's payday isn't it?! I'm in a good mood.
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"Sure. You just go 'rm' and the filename"
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"Thanks"
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"No worries" (Now I'm in a REALLY good mood. I think I just might write that
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script to make saving impossible on rogue at random times like I've been think-
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ing about)
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The phone rings again.
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"Hello?"
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"Hi there" I say
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"Is this the Operators?"
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"Yes it is" I say, nice as pie
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"Could you get my printouts out please. I need them urgently, and I printed
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them over 5 minutes ago"
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"Your username?" I ask
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He gives it to me, and I write it down for later. "No worries at all!" I say,
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and head to the printers.
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There's a HUUUUUUUGE pile of printouts there, and sure enough, his is at the
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top of the pile. I pick it up, split it out of the rest and pour our ink-
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stained cleaning alcohol all over it, run it over a couple of times with the
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loaded tape trolley then slam it in the tape safe door some times as well.
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Beautiful.
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"Here's your printout" I say "Sorry about the delay, we've got a few printer
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problems."
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He takes a look and shits himself.
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"Well, can I print it again?" he asks, worried
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"Sure you can" I say "But no promises, the printer's a bit stuffed today"
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"Well can I print it on laser - is that working?"
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"Yeah of course, but that'll cost you" I say, oozing compassion for the geek
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"It doesn't matter about the cost, THIS IS URGENT!"
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I slide-on back into the printer room and put in the toner cartridge we save
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for special occasions - the one that prints thick black lines down the middle
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of the page and is all faint on one side. It took me quite a while to make it
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like that too. The printout shoots through and I bring it out immediately -
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I don't want to miss this!
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"W-w-what's happened to my printout?" he geek-squeals at me.
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Lucky I wrote that username down - I'm really starting to develop a taste for
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torture.
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"Well nothing. I mean sure, it's a little soiled, but that cartridge has
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already done 47 thousand pages and been refilled 17 times. It's quite good
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compared to some we get"
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Geek pays up and starts blubbing.
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"Hey now. There's no reason to cry! Have you got a disk with your work on
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it?"
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He gives me a box of diskettes and I step inside and run them across the bulk
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eraser. I come back out again.
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"Sorry, I just remembered, our machine is on the fritz, you'll have to take
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these to the other side of campus to the machine there, it'll print them ok,
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and it had a brand-new toner yesterday."
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"GREAT!"
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"No worries. Oh, and hold the disks above your head the whole way there, the
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earth's magnetic field is particularly strong today."
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"Huh?"
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"No arguements, just do it."
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He wanders off, hand held high. Shit I hate myself sometimes.
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spt@waikato.ac.nz (Simon Travaglia)
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