88 lines
3.0 KiB
Standard ML
88 lines
3.0 KiB
Standard ML
A CHATAN INTERVIEWA CHAT
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WITH SANTA CLAUS
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Q: Santa, why do you think you've grown to be the most famous man in the
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entire world? After all, there are plenty of people who are doing
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good deeds....
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Santa: I think it's my red suit. Red is most people's favorite color.
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Q: Every year at Christmas time, merchandisers all over the world use your
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name, and your image to sell their goods. Do you feel you're being
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exploited?
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Santa: Not too much. But last year I had a talk with the Easter Bunny, and
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boy, is he ever ticked off!
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Q: What do you do for money, Santa?
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Santa: Well, I don't need much. We get most of our food from our summer
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garden. And most of the materials for the toys are donated by good
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people all over the world.
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Q: When you do get money, where do you put it?
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Santa: I put it in a snowbank once, but lost it when I forgot which one.
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Or maybe the Ice Nymphs got it.
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Q: How do you get along with the elves?
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Santa: Just great! Until I give them a job they don't like. Shoveling
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snow, for instance.
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Q: If shoveling snow is their least favorite job, what's their most favorite?
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Santa: Mowing the lawn.
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Q: I've always wondered -- why are there no female elves?
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Santa: Go smell the elves' breath some day and you'll have your answer! No,
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I'm just kidding. Female elves' breath is just as bad! Actually,
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there are female elves, and they live right here at the North Pole.
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I've overheard them talking a time or two. But I've never seen one.
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They're real sly about that.
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Q: When you go around the world, delivering all those presents, how do you
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get down the chimneys?
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Santa: I make myself small.
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Q: And the presents, too?
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Santa: Of course. A tiny person can't carry huge presents.
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Q: Is your miniscule size the reason why children can't see you when you
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visit?
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Santa: You mean children can't see me? That's a shame!
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Q: Is your house about the same as other houses of the world?
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Santa: Basically. Except I have a happiness room and a laughing room.
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Q: Does your laughing room really laugh?
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Santa: No, I do. When I go in it. Just walking in puts me in stitches.
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Q: Are you really fat, or is that just the fit of your clothes?
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Santa: I'm not fat. I come from a fat race, and among my people I'm skinny!
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Q: Who are your people?
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Santa: I was orphaned as a baby, you know. But I suspect my genealogy traces
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back to the Wyrsters of the valleys of Yinlyn. They're quite famous
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in anthropological circles.
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Q: You've been credited with thousands of invaluable inventions, such as the
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chair and dog fur. What's the invention you're most proud of?
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Santa: I'm proudest of the CLAUSE. It did wonders in enabling people to
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create intelligible sentences in speaking and writing. And it works
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in nearly all languages. I was so pleased with that one that I
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named it after myself. You don't sit on a clause, but you do speak
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with one!
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