72 lines
3.0 KiB
Plaintext
72 lines
3.0 KiB
Plaintext
'TWAS THE NIGHT BEFORE INSTALLATION
|
||
===================================
|
||
|
||
'Twas the night before installation,
|
||
And all through the shop,
|
||
Not a program was working,
|
||
It sure was a flop.
|
||
The programmers hung by their tubes in despair,
|
||
In hope that a miracle soon would be there.
|
||
|
||
The users were nestled all snug in their beds
|
||
While visions of inquiries danced in their heads.
|
||
When out in the hall there arose such a clatter
|
||
I sprang from my desk to see what was the matter.
|
||
And what to my wondering eyes should appear,
|
||
But a Super-Programmer (with a six-pack of beer).
|
||
|
||
His resume glowed with experience so rare,
|
||
He turned out great code with a bit-pusher's flair.
|
||
More rapid than eagles, his programs they came,
|
||
And he whistled and shouted and called them by name:
|
||
On Update! On Add! On Inquiry! On Delete!
|
||
On Batch! On Closing! On Functions Complete!
|
||
|
||
His eyes were glazed over, fingers nimble and lean,
|
||
From weekends and nights in front of a screen.
|
||
A wink of his eye and a twist of his head
|
||
Soon gave me to know I had nothing to dread.
|
||
|
||
He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,
|
||
Turning specs into code; then turned with a jerk,
|
||
And laying a finger upon the "Enter" key,
|
||
The system came up and worked perfectly.
|
||
|
||
The Updates updated, the Deletes, they deleted;
|
||
The inquiries inquired, and Closing completed.
|
||
He tested each whistle and each bell,
|
||
with nary an abend, and all had gone well.
|
||
|
||
The system was finished, the tests were concluded;
|
||
The users' last changes were even included.
|
||
And the users exclaimed with a snarl and a taunt,
|
||
"It's just what I asked for, but not what I want!"
|
||
|
||
|
||
|
||
|
||
[From an anonymous printout from somewhere in California]
|
||
|
||
|
||
|
||
X-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-X
|
||
|
||
Another file downloaded from: NIRVANAnet(tm)
|
||
|
||
& the Temple of the Screaming Electron Jeff Hunter 510-935-5845
|
||
Rat Head Ratsnatcher 510-524-3649
|
||
Burn This Flag Zardoz 408-363-9766
|
||
realitycheck Poindexter Fortran 415-567-7043
|
||
Lies Unlimited Mick Freen 415-583-4102
|
||
|
||
Specializing in conversations, obscure information, high explosives,
|
||
arcane knowledge, political extremism, diversive sexuality,
|
||
insane speculation, and wild rumours. ALL-TEXT BBS SYSTEMS.
|
||
|
||
Full access for first-time callers. We don't want to know who you are,
|
||
where you live, or what your phone number is. We are not Big Brother.
|
||
|
||
"Raw Data for Raw Nerves"
|
||
|
||
X-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-X
|