78 lines
5.0 KiB
Plaintext
78 lines
5.0 KiB
Plaintext
TWAS THE NOCTURNAL SEGMENT OF THE DIURNAL PERIOD
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Twas the nocturnal segment of the diurnal period preceding the annual
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yuletide celebration. And throughout our place of residence, kinetic activity
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was not in evidence among the possessors of this potential, including that
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species of domestic rodent known as mus musclus. Hosiery was meticulously
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suspended from the forward edge of the wood-burning caloric apparatus, pursuant
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to our anticipatory pleasure regarding an eminent visitation from an eccentric
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philanthropist among whose folkloric appellations is the honorific title of St.
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Nicholas.
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The prepubescent siblings, comfortably ensconced in their respective
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accommodations or repose, were experiencing subconscious visual hallucinations
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of variegated fruit confections moving rhythmically through their cerebrums.
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My conjugal partner and I, attired in our nocturnal head coverings, were about
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to take slumberous advantage of the hibernal darkness when upon the avenaceous
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exterior portion of the grounds there ascended such a cacophony of dissonance
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that I felt compelled to arise with alactrity from my place of repose for the
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purpose of ascertaining the precise source thereof.
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Fastening to the casement, I forthwith opened the barriers sealing this
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fenestration, noting thereupon that the lunar brilliance without, reflected as
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it was on the surface of a recent crystalline precipitation, might be said to
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rival that of the solar merdidan itself; thus permitting my incredulous optical
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sensory organs to behold a miniature airborne runnered conveyance drawn by
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eight diminutive specimens of the genus ragifer. Piloted by a minuscule aged
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chauffeur so ebullient and nimble that it became instantly apparent to me that
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he was indeed our anticipated caller. With his ungulate motive power traveling
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at what may have been more vertigiuous velocity than patriotionalar predators,
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he vodiferated loudly, exuelled breath musically through contracted lasia, and
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addressed each of the octet by his or her respected cognonen; Now Dasher, now
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Dancer, et al. Guiding them to the uppermost exterior level of our abode,
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through which structured could readily distinguish the concatenations of each
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of the 32 cloven pedal extremities.
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As I retracted my cranium from its erstwhile location, and was performing a
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180-degree pivot, our distinguished visitant achieved, with utmost celerity in
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animal pelts soiled by the ebon residue from oxidations of carboniferous fuels
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which had accumulated on the walls thereof. His resemblance to a street vendor
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I attributed largely to the planthora of assorted playthings which he bore
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exorsally in commodious cloth receptacle.
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His orbs were scintillant with reflected luminosity, while his submaxillary
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dermal indentations gave every evidence of exgaging amiability. The
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capillaries of his molar regions and nasal appurtenance were engorged with
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blood which suffused the suboutaneous layers, the former approximating the
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coloration of albion's floral embelem, the latter that of the prunus avium, or
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sweet cherry. His amusing sub- and superalabials resembled nothing so much as
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a common loop knot, and their amdent hirscule facial adornment appeared like
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small, tabular and columnar crystals of frozen water.
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Clenched firmly between his incisors was smokingpiece whose gray fumes,
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forming a tenuous ellipse about his occiput, were suggestive of a decorative
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seasonal circlet of holly. His visage was wider than it was high, and when he
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waxed audibly mirthful, his corpulent abdominal region undulated in the manner
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of impectinated fruit syrup in a hemispherical container. He was as short,
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neither more nor less than an obese, jocund, multigenarian gnome, the optical
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perception of whom rendered me visible frolicsome despite every effort to
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refrain from so being. By rapidly lowering and then elevating one eyelid and
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rotating his head slightly to one side he indicated that trepidation on my part
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was groundless.
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Without utterance and with dispatch, he commenced filling the aforementioned
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hosiery with various of the aforementioned articles of merchandise extracted
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from his aforementioned previously dorsally transported cloth receptacle. Upon
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completion of his task, he executed an abrupt aboutface, placed a singular
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manual digit in lateral juxtaposition to his olfactory organ, inclined his
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cranium forward in a gesture of leave taking, and forthwith effected his egress
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by renegotiating (in reverse) the smoke passage. He then propelled himself in
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a short vector onto his conveyance, directed a musical expulsion of air through
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his contracted oral sphincter to the antlered quadrupeds among the seed-bearing
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portions of a common weed. But I overheard his parting exclamation, audible
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immediately prior to his vehiculation beyond the limits of visibility:
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ESTATIC YULETIDE TO THE PLANETARY CONSTITUENCY, AND TO THAT SELFSAME
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ASSEMBLAGE, MY SINCEREST WISHES FOR A SALUBRIOUSLY BENEFICIAL AND GRATIFYINGLY
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PLEASURABLE PERIOD BETWEEN SUNSET AND DAWN.
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