196 lines
8.4 KiB
Plaintext
196 lines
8.4 KiB
Plaintext
ÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜ
|
||
ݱ22 Apr 91±±±±±±±±±±±±±±±±±±±±_ROR_-_ALUCARD_±±±±±±±±±±±±±±±±±±±±±±±±Ý? Þ°
|
||
Ý Ý A Þ°
|
||
Ý Ý ?Þ°
|
||
Ý A ßßßßß°
|
||
Ý SCHOOL IS HELL -- Lessons 6 through 9 Tfile Þ°
|
||
Ý Distribution Þ°
|
||
ÜÜÜÜÜ Centere Þ°
|
||
Ý? Þ By: Powerful Paul - RoR - Þ°
|
||
Ý A Þ_____________________________________________________________________Þ°
|
||
Ý ?Þ Shawn-Da-Lay Boy Productions, Inc.úúúúúúúúúúúúúúúúúúúúúúúúúúúúúúúúúúÞ°
|
||
ÝÜÜÜÞÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÞ°
|
||
°°°The HQ of SDBP, inc - 415/849/2688°°The Electric Pub - 415/236/4380°°°°
|
||
°Primary Drop Sites°°°°°°Rat Head - 415/524/3649°°°°°Primary Drop Sites°°°
|
||
|
||
SCHOOL IS HELL--The text file that has to go stand in the corner
|
||
|
||
(Adapted from the cartoon by Matt Groening by Powerful Paul)
|
||
|
||
[> Lesson 7: The 33 types of grade school students >]
|
||
|
||
Teacher's Pet, The Beauty, Mr. Cool, The Brain, The Dunce, The
|
||
Copycat, The Bad Girl, The Sissy, The Goof-Off, The Bully, The
|
||
Bully's Little Pal, The Chatterbox, The Tomboy, The Crybaby, The
|
||
Prude, The Mean Girl, The Shy One, The Shrimp, Ms. Know-It-All, The
|
||
Fat Kid, The Cheater, The Thief, The Scairdycat, The Goody-Goody,
|
||
Little Miss Selfish, Joe Average, The Tattletale, The New Kid,
|
||
Dainty, Sickly, Smelly, The Reject, Class Clown
|
||
|
||
[> Lesson 8: Trouble: Getting in and weaseling your way out of >]
|
||
|
||
When in doubt, howl your innocence.
|
||
"No way!" "I been framed!" "I didn't do nuthin'." "Lemme see my
|
||
lawyer!"
|
||
|
||
What is trouble? The experts explain.
|
||
|
||
"Trouble is bad. It messes up yer mind, causes shame, and annoys big
|
||
grumpy adults. Trouble is one of the leading causes of spankings in
|
||
the world today."
|
||
|
||
"Trouble is the maladaptive social response of an inquisitive youth
|
||
to a stultifying educational environment."
|
||
|
||
"Trouble is fun, except when you get caught. My problem is I always
|
||
get caught."
|
||
|
||
Basic trouble:
|
||
Whispering
|
||
Squirming
|
||
Passing notes
|
||
Chewing gum
|
||
Talking
|
||
Drawing cartoons
|
||
|
||
Advanced trouble:
|
||
Hiding all the blackboard erasers
|
||
Stealing back your confiscated yo-yo from the teacher's desk
|
||
Throwing water balloons
|
||
Squirting water on the teacher's chair
|
||
|
||
Very advanced trouble:
|
||
Dropping a bag of ball bearings on the floor
|
||
Putting snails in the teacher's briefcase
|
||
Laughing at everything the teacher says
|
||
Throwing maple-syrup balloons
|
||
|
||
Can trouble be avoided?
|
||
|
||
Many youngsters attempt to avoid trouble by seeking refuge in a seat
|
||
in the rear corner of the classroom.
|
||
|
||
Unfortunately, in recent centuries many authorities have become aware
|
||
of this hide-out.
|
||
|
||
Try not to look guilty.
|
||
|
||
Half-asleep = innocent. Angelic = guilty as hell.
|
||
|
||
If you are caught, try one or more of the following:
|
||
|
||
Act so shocked that you are rendered temporarily speechless. This
|
||
will buy you time while you think of a way out.
|
||
|
||
Deny everything. Blame someone else. Look sincere. Stick to your
|
||
story. Don't falter. Lie like crazy.
|
||
|
||
Confess--with as few details as possible. Look pathetic. Whimper.
|
||
Beg for mercy. Swear you'll never do it again.
|
||
Important: Don't forget to keep your fingers crossed.
|
||
|
||
[> Lesson 9: How to drive a deserving teacher crazy >]
|
||
|
||
Three annoying ways to ask to go to the lavatory:
|
||
|
||
"May I go to the laboratory?" <-- Bela Lugosi accent
|
||
"May I go to the labrador?"
|
||
"May I go see the lava flow?"
|
||
|
||
Don't ALL teachers deserve to be driven crazy?
|
||
|
||
Strangely, the answer is no. We must remember that teachers used to
|
||
be small and speedy, just like us. But then they grew up, got
|
||
sophisticated, and went senile.
|
||
|
||
If they are nice and funny and teach us a thing or two, then we
|
||
should take pity on the poor underpaid drudges and give 'em a break.
|
||
Unless we're in a rambunctious mood.
|
||
|
||
How to tell if a teacher deserves to be driven crazy. (a checklist)
|
||
|
||
[ ] Calls on you when you are scrunched down in your seat trying to
|
||
look as inconspicuous as possible.
|
||
|
||
[ ] Locks the classroom door when the bell rings and won't open up no
|
||
matter how hard you kick.
|
||
|
||
[ ] Never smiles.
|
||
|
||
[ ] Smiles too much.
|
||
|
||
[ ] Punishes you unfairly.
|
||
|
||
[ ] Punishes you fairly.
|
||
|
||
Making a crazy teacher crazier--the cycle:
|
||
|
||
Grimness Joylessness
|
||
\ _______Teacher______ /
|
||
\ / \/
|
||
Retaliates with Notices
|
||
/ \
|
||
/ \
|
||
Cruel /________________\Disobedient
|
||
Punishment\ leads to / Mischief
|
||
\ /
|
||
\ /
|
||
Endures Commits
|
||
/ \______Our Hero_____/ \
|
||
/ \
|
||
Resentment Frivolity
|
||
|
||
Small ways to drive a deserving teacher crazy:
|
||
|
||
Pretend you aren't listening.
|
||
Ask distracting questions.
|
||
Say: "Could you repeat that?"
|
||
Act stupid.
|
||
|
||
Medium-sized ways to drive a deserving teacher crazy:
|
||
|
||
Hide all the blackboard erasers.
|
||
Make little meowing noises without moving your lips.
|
||
Act smart.
|
||
|
||
Big ways to drive a deserving teacher crazy:
|
||
|
||
Squirt water on the teacher's chair when she isn't looking.
|
||
Smuggle as many dogs as you can into the classroom.
|
||
Say things that make the class laugh but which the teacher doesn't
|
||
get.
|
||
|
||
If you get kicked out of class, you can still drive a deserving teacher crazy
|
||
|
||
1. Gather your stuff as slowly as possible.
|
||
2. Walk solemnly toward the door. At the last moment, twirl.
|
||
3. Slam the door and make goofy faces in the little window. Then
|
||
run.
|
||
4. Wait 15 years, then type up a snotty text file about school.
|
||
|
||
ÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜ
|
||
ÜÝÄ’œ<E28099>›Š úúúúúúúúúúúúúúú THE HOLLOW'S ALLIANCE úúúúúúúúúúúúúúú AliceÄÞÜ ú
|
||
ÜÝÄ (415)849-2688 Ÿ‰‰ë æ”<C3A6>r hîŽë (415)849-2688 ÄÞÜ ú
|
||
ÜÝ ÄÄ Ä Ä Ä Ä Ä Ä T-file Distribution Cent-a-RoR Ä Ä Ä Ä Ä Ä ÄÄ ÞÜ ú
|
||
ÜÝDr. Murdock ú Powerful Paul ú RatSnatcher ú Sir Death ú Pressed RatÞÜ ú
|
||
ÜÝ ÄÄ Ä Ä Ä R o R - A l u c a r d Ä Ä Ä ÄÄ ÞÜ ú
|
||
ÜÝÄ The Corporate Headquarters of Shawn-Da-Lay Boy Productions, Inc.ÄÞÜ ú
|
||
ÜÝÄúúúú Ø úúúúSmooth is the Descent and Easy is the Wayúúúúú Ø úúúúúÄÞÜ ú
|
||
ÜÛßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßÛÜ ú
|
||
úúúúúúúúúúúúúúúúúúúúúúúúúúúúúúúúúúúúúúúúúúúúúúúúúúúúúúúúúúúúúúúúúúúúúú
|
||
|
||
|
||
X-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-X
|
||
Another file downloaded from: The NIRVANAnet(tm) Seven
|
||
|
||
& the Temple of the Screaming Electron Taipan Enigma 510/935-5845
|
||
Burn This Flag Zardoz 408/363-9766
|
||
realitycheck Poindexter Fortran 510/527-1662
|
||
Lies Unlimited Mick Freen 801/278-2699
|
||
The New Dork Sublime Biffnix 415/864-DORK
|
||
The Shrine Rif Raf 206/794-6674
|
||
Planet Mirth Simon Jester 510/786-6560
|
||
|
||
"Raw Data for Raw Nerves"
|
||
X-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-X
|