263 lines
10 KiB
Plaintext
263 lines
10 KiB
Plaintext
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ÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜ
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ݱ02 Apr 90±±±±±±±±±±±±±±±±±±±±_ROR_-_ALUCARD_±±±±±±±±±±±±±±±±±±±±±±±±Ý? Þ°
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Ý Ý A Þ°
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Ý The Lost Notes of Dr. Daigger Ý ?Þ°
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Ý A ßßßßß°
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Ý and the Infamous Daigger Machine!! Tfile Þ°
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Ý Distribution Þ°
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ÜÜÜÜÜ Centere Þ°
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Ý? Þ Written by: Doctor Murdock - RoR - Þ°
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Ý A Þ_____________________________________________________________________Þ°
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Ý ?Þ Shawn-Da-Lay Boy Productions, Inc.úúúúúúúúúúúúúúúúúúúúúúúúúúúúúúúúúúÞ°
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ÝÜÜÜÞÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÞ°
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°°°The HQ of SDBP, inc - 415/236/2371°°The Electric Pub - 415/236/4380°°°°
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°Primary Drop Sites°°°°°°Rat Head - 415/524/3649°°°°°Primary Drop Sites°°°
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.
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. . . .
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. o . . o .
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. \ ^ / .
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\___|___/
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:\ i x \ The Lost Notes of
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: \ (__).\
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: \ _____\ DR. DAIGGER
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\ | |
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\ | RoR | and the infamous
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\_| |
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\_____/ DAIGGER MACHINE!!!!!
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====
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==
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==
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==
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by, Doctor Murdock
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=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
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The story of Dr. Daigger is quite a long one. One that we will cover
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very briefly. In 1956 Dr. Thomas A. Daigger finally finished his 12 year
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project....the DAIGGER MACHINE! This machine enables Dr. Daigger to travel
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through the time and space continuum to any given point at any given time. It
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also is rumored to have many other abilities, that we are not aware of. No
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doubt you can understand the power of such a machine. Especially in the wrong
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hands. Well, Dr. Daigger understood this, and so one summer night he packed
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up a few things he could carry and with his Daigger Machine....travelled into
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another time. Very few people have heard from him sinse. It's even rumored,
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that the Daigger Machine doesn't even exist. But how dull life would be if we
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thought that......
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Before he became a doctor, Thomas Daigger was a frequent traveller of The
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Land called Else. He took great delight in playing chess with the
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Alligators while sipping cactus juice from a low flying cloud.
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One day Thomas took his friends, the Alligators, to a pleasant pasture and
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there he confronted the The Mad Mushroom Grower* while he was busily
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planting a new species of Mushroom.
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"Tell me, you silly wizard," demanded Daigger in his curious voice. "why
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don't we ever see you eating your own mushrooms?"
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The Mad Mushrooms Grower stop his planting and without a single word,
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pulled a purple, fully grown mushroom about 6 1/2 inches tall, from his
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pocket. He took a sip from a straw that was inserted in the top of it.
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His eyes glowed a fiery yellow and then red, and then with a thundering
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<POOF!> he disappeared into a cloud of aqua coloured smoke.
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Upon seeing this, people have been in search of those little 6 1/2 inch
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tall purple mushrooms with a passion! None have ever been found. Or if
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so, no one has come forth to show it. Like the old saying goes:
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Those who know, don't tell.
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Those who tell, don't know.
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(* - Lucerne, The Mad Mushroom Grower from The Land Of Else.)
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-------------------------------
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:
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Reality...so much for that. :
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:
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:
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_______________________________:
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Here...Dr. Daigger writes of another interesting power of the Daigger
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Machine. It seems that the Daigger Machine can be tapped into the holder's
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brain waves, and allow the holder to send Drago Waves of chosen feelings or
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expressions which can be pointed or directed at any given person(s). (ie:
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Subliminal messages. Which are shown here with the { } symbols..)
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And the Great Man said to the young man...
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"Here, my son.....eat from my apple of life!!!" {choke choke}
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And he ate...
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"ummm, yummmmm...mmmmm. <smack> <lick> hmmmm. yumy yummmmmmmy! mmmmm.
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<cough!> <Choke!> Uh..Ack! Ug! ick! Arg! Argglleggglllelee!
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<ChoKE!> <COUGH!!!!> Argle! Argle! garggle gargggglele! <CHOKE!!!!!>
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<collapse....>"
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And he died.
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______________
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Another example:
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Dr. Daigger = DD Female_Unix_Programmer = FUP
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DD: "I say...what WONDERFUL breasts you have!"
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FUP: "I suggest you mind your own business, you dirty old man!"
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DD: "My...I can see your nipples pertruding and poking out of your blouse!"
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FUP: "<Gasp!> I've NEVER been so embarrassed! Leave me alone you PERVERT!!"
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DD: "I would like to lick your nipples until they are red and pulsate from
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being sore...." {on your knees, whore. on your knees, whore.}
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FUP: "Oh my god....RAPE! RAPE!! RAPE!!" <she falls onto her knees,>
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DD: {"Take off all of your clothes and spread your legs wide apart"}
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FUP: "NOOOO! oh....oh...yes....Yes...YES!!! Do ME, NOW old man!!!"
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-= We interrupt this sexual fantasy to inform you before hand that all
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genius's usually have a great flaw in certain area's of there cranial
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intulaub....thus causing flaws in there ways of thinking or their
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personality. Obviously Dr. Daigger is a genius. So....... =-
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DD: "Here...take this scalpel." {Slit your nipples off.. Ever so slowly!}
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FUP: "OH YES! OHHHHH! Ohh..ouch.. pain... ouch! OUCH! AAaahhhhh!!!!"
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DD: "YES! YES!!!!" {slit a bloody path from your neck to your vaginal
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entrance!!}
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FUP: "aaaaaaaAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaAAaAaHHHhhhhhhhhhhhhhhHhhHhhhHhhhhHHHHHHH!!!"
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DD: "Give me your nipples!" {cut! CUT! SLICE! MUTILATE!!!!!!}
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FUP: <bloody murder scream eventually fading away until dead.>
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DD: <giggle giggle>
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=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
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Never study Demonology with a pit bull.
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Never drink water that drips upward.
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Never play catch with a giant.
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Never stroke your cockatrice.
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Never breed insanity bugs.
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Never count on the end.
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Always wear under garments.
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Always kiss your largest dog first.
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Always play with fire underwater.
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Always listen to old men with purple mushrooms.
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Always wait for someone else to plug in the wet vacuum.
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-=-=-=-=--==-=-=============---------====#&#(*$*&^$(!)_+__)()(*&*^#%#@$%@
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\ I wouldn't shit you...your my favorite turd!/
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&^#*&^%@($())($*#_)_$)_(_)$_)(#*&(#^&@%^&@&*#
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Dr Daigger, March, 15th 1223.
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I've learned that the most magical items on the planet Earth are....Rocks.
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Yes....that is true. And what is the most overlooked object in modern day?
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Rocks. Ain't that a kick in the ass?
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Also....snowflakes have proven to have quite a magic content. For
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instance....eating 120 snowflakes, running in a circle 4 times, and yelling
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Owlbear! Owlbear!....will turn you into a newt.
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Another quite fascinating magical act is done with a blade of grass. Eating a
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single blade of grass while standing under a full moon will give you an acute
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case of clastrphobia.....quickly after feeling this sensation, you should eat
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a cows eyeball and shortly after doing that you will notice a second head atop
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your shoulders. Now...with another head, you must play the ~bad~ head and
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scream, "Lalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalaalalaaa!" for 72 hours, so your
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other head can't get any sleep....it will eventually die and start to rot
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away. After about 8 months it will be rotted enough so that you can pull it
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from your body without much pain. Take the wisdom teeth of this other head
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and grind them into a fine powder. Snort this powder and it will give you
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the ability to turn into any inanimate object you wish. (After many case
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studies, I've found being a tampon is quite the experience.....).
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Do with this information as you will. Remember....don't listen to your
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scientific elders. Science is just modern day witchcraft. Many other things
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exist in this universe, all you have to do is open your mind to them!
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=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
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Dear Sirs,
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I hope you can learn from my notes. I will send more as time
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allows. I'm quite busy out here, you know? Remember....never let go of your
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dreams! Enjoy your existence! Don't stop and smell the roses.....stop and
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build a Daigger machine, dude!!!!!!!!!
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It's all a Piece of Mind.
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RoR - Alucard
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=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
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Call these other fine boards.....
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-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
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-= The Legion Outpost.........................................415/521/7413 =-
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-= The Crystal Ship...........................................415/524/9951 =-
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-= The Village................................................415/237/4145 =-
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-= Pro Leech..................................................415/236/8192 =-
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-= The Nimitz Downport........................................415/276/3677 =-
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-= Lunatic Labs...............................................213/655/0691 =-
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-= Bad Dudes Hideout..........................................415/391/0704 =-
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-= Skeleton Crue..............................................415/376/8060 =-
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-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- RoR - Alucard -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- |