textfiles/groups/OMNIPOTENT/riflemic.omn

1 line
4.9 KiB
Plaintext

%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%
%% %%
%% =================================== %%
%% HOW TO CONSTRUCT A RIFLE MICROPHONE %%
%% =================================== %%
%% %%
%% Another file from Omnipotent, Incorporated %%
%% %%
%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%
This is a most unusual project; we are going to mount a sensitive
microphone behind a series of acoustic wave guides and hope for the best.
Actually, our wave guides are aluminum tubes cut to resonate at frequencies
near the human voice range. This arrangement also serves to make the unit
highly directional as sound other than that arriving at the mouth of the tubes
arrives at the mic in an out-of-phase condition and cancels itself out.
With this easily constructed device it is possible (under ideal
conditions) to pick up conversations several HUNDRED feet away, in fact,
reports of recording conversations up to 30 yards away THROUGH A CLOSED WINDOW
have been made...
The device is quite easy to construct: First get together the following
materials:
[1] 56' of 3/8" outside diameter aluminum tubing (hardware stores)
[2] 1 sensitive amplifier with operating paraphenalia
[3] 1 sensitive microphone element -- use either a good condenser or a
crystal, as their outputs tend to be a bit higher than their dynamic
counterparts.
[4] 1 funnel
[5] Assorted small hardware
Cut the tubing into 37 pieces ranging from 1" through 36" in one inch
divisions. Now bundle them together symmetrically with one end flush (as
shown). As you assemble them, blue them together in several places to assure
they remain in the state you have put them in (were it only so easy with
people...).
OOO
OOOOO
OOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOO
OOOOO
OOO
Flush ends of tubes
Take the funnel and fit it around the flush end of the tube bundle. Being
astute enough to read this, I am sure you will notice the tubes do not exactly
fit into the funnel. At this realization, take a small hammer and beat the
funnel to nearly as possible. Now fill the remaining spaces with a good rubber
based caulking compound.
The microphone element is placed in the neck of the funnel (with a rubber
grommet if it is small enough to fit up into the neck -- otherwise set it into
the other end of the neck before caulking the tubing in place). Glue the mic
into place and caulk any air space around it.
Run the microphone wires out the neck of the funnel, glue in place, and
also caulk to give it a closed, fairly air invincible seal around the entire
unti. If you really feel up to it, fiberglass resin can be used instead of
caulking compound.
m ###\
i ### \
c ### \
### \_________#
e ### #______ wire
l => ### funnel #
e ### _________#
m ### / ^
e ### / grommet
n ### /
t ###/
Run the output wires to your amplifier and place the entire unit on some
sort of support, a camera tripod being ideal. (Need I remind you to check
matching impedances?). The unit should be aimed at the subject and then panned
about for maximum volume (sound does not travel in a straight line, but may
vary with wind, etc).
If wind noise overrides your target noise you can place a piece of
cheesecloth across the end of the unit. If a particularly difficult noise
interferes with your pick-up you can often plug up the tube(s) carrying this
noise with a cork.
Good hunting, avoid paranoid people who may feel your rifle mic more than
resembles the real thing...
Coming soon from Omnipotent:
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
THE BLITZ BOX!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
This will keep someone connected to your phone line for as long as you
want. Annoy your friends. It has endless applications. WATCH FOR IT SOON!