98 lines
4.7 KiB
Plaintext
98 lines
4.7 KiB
Plaintext
THIS FILE IS DEDICATED TO MY FUCKING BITCH SISTER THAT I HATE MORE
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THAN 14YEAR OLD COMPUTER GEEKS!
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THIS FILE IS RECOMMENDED FOR THOSE OF YOU WITH ESPECIALLY TEENAGE BITCH
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SISTERS THAT I AM I'M SURE YOU ALSO HATE WITH A PASSION!
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THESE ARE COLLECTIONS OF MY THOUGHTS AND EXPERIMENTS IN TERRORISING AND
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RUINING YOUR SISTER'S LIFE, INCLUDING
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INTENSE PUBLIC HUMILIATION, PAIN, AND WILL COVER HER BOYFRIEND.
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FIRST OFF, HERE IS SOMETHING WHICH IS SURE TO BRING ABOUT A CHANGE IN YOUR
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HOUSE, AND COULD DEFINATELY RUIN YOUR
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SISTER IF SHE IS CONSIDERED THE PERFECT CHILD, WHEN SHE'S NOT, IF SHE'S ON THE
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PILL. FIRST, TAKE HER BIRTH CONTROL PILLS, WHICH ARE GENERALLY LITTLE PINK
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TABLET'S, WHICH LOOK IDENTICAL TO THOSE ST.JOSEPH'S CHILDERNS ASPRIN...SIMPLY
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REPLACE THE BIRTH CONTROL PILLS WITH THE
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ASPRIN, AND IF YOUR SISTER FUCKS AROUND ALOT THERE WILL DEFINATELY BE A CHANGE
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AROUND THE HOUSE, IT'S KINDA A SERIOUS
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PRANK, BUT WHAT THE FUCK!
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TRY THIS ONE OUT. IT'S ALLWAYS FUN TO WATCH THIS HAPPENING, ON ANYONE,
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NOT JUST YOUR SISTER, WHO WERE'S CONTACTS.
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YOU KNOW HOW THEY HAVE PUT THERE SALINE SOLUTION ON THE CONTACT, WELL, DUMP
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OUT THE SALINE SOLUTION, AND REPLACE IT
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WITH VODKA, OR VINEGAR, OR ANYTHING THAT IS CLEAR. OR IF YOU DON'T WANT TO
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CAUSE PERMINANT DAMAGE, REPLACE THE SALINE
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WITH THERE CLEANING SOLUTION, IT DOES MILD STINGING.
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HERE'S A SIMPLE LITTLE THING TO DO TO EMBARESS THE SHIT OUT OF HER. WHEN
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SHE'S TALKING TO HER BOYFRIEND ON THE PHONE, SIMPLY YELL SOMETHING LIKE...
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"DEBI, YOU DIDN'T FLUSH THE TOILET AGAIN!", OR "DEBI, GET YOUR DOUCHE OUT OFF
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THE FLOOR." I THINK THAT THAT WILL DEFINATELY CAUSE A LOT OF EMBARESSMENT.
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OR, WHEN HER BOYFRIEND CALLS, SIMPLY TELL HIM SHE'S OUT WITH HER BOYFRIEND
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AND MAKE UP SOME NAME, AND THAT SHE WON'T BE BACK TILL 'LATE'.
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A BIT EXTREME, BUT I'M CONTEMPLATING IT NOW, IS TO TAKE HAIR REMOVAL
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LOTION, SUCH AS NAIR, IN THE CREAM FORM, AND
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MIX IT CAREFULLY IN HER SHAMPOO, AND IF SHE'S LIKE MINE, SHE LEAVE'S THE
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SHAMPOO ON FOR A LONG TIME, AND USUALLY LONG
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ENOUGH FOR IT TO AT LEAST TAKE PARTIAL EFFECT, OR IT WOULD WORK BETTER IN HER
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CONDITIONER. IT WORKS IN A SIMILAR WAY
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WITH HAIR COLORING SHIT, LIKE GREEN HAIR COLOR, WOULD LOOK GREAT ON HER I'M
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SURE.
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A GAG SHOP CAN BE AN ENDLESS ARCADE OF TOYS FOR YOUR SISTER, LAST WEEK I
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SAW A COMPLETELY AUTHENTIC LOOKING
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LIPSTICK THAT AFTER ABOUT 2HOURS IT TURNS DULL PURPLE, SIMPLY TAKE THE LIPSTICK
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OUT OF IT'S APPLICATOR THING, AND PUT
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IT IN HER APPLICATOR, WORKS BEST IF SHE'S GOING TO SCHOOL.
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INVITE SOME OF YOUR FRIENDS OVER, LIKE ABOUT 10, WHILE YOUR SISTER AND HER
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BOYFRIEND OUR OUT ON A DATE, AND YOUR
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PARENTS ARE GONE...AND, WHEN THEY COME HOME YOU TAKE IT FROM THERE, BRING OUT
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HER WORST POINTS, LIKE HAVE YOUR FRIENDS
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MAKE COMMENTS LIKE, OHH, ANOTHER ONE AND JUST BRING OUT PERSONAL EMBARRESSING
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SHIT LIKE, WHEN'S YOUR NEXT APPOINTMENT
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WITH YOUR GYNOCOLOGIST.
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THIS MAY SOUND A BIT PETY, BUT IT'S FUNNY TO WATCH ESPECIALLY IF YOUR
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SISTER'S BOYFRIEND LIVES LIKE FAR AWAY,
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WHILE THERE BUSY AND LIKE AWAY FROM HOME, LIKE AT A MOVIE THEATRE, AND FLATTEN
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ALL FOUR OF HIS TIRES, THEN, TAKE THE
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PHONE AT YOUR HOUSE OFF THE HOOK AND LET THEM FIGURE OUT WHAT THEY ARE SUPPOSE
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TO DO! IT SOUNDS BAD, BUT IT WILL BE
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TERRORISTIC.
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MY FAVORITE FOR IMBARRESMENT, SPREAD MASSIVE RUMOR'S AROUND SCHOOL, IF YOU
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ARE WELL KNOWN ENOUGH, AND JUST GO FOR
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IT, KILL HER REPUTATION, AND MAKE HER FEEL LIKE SHIT! MY SISTER CHANGED
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SCHOOLS WHEN I DID THAT!
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SIMPLE LITTLE THINGS LIKE HER PICTURES CROSSED OUT WITH RED PEN,
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ESPECIALLY PICTURES OF HER BOYFRIEND, MY SISTER'S
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BOYFRIEND FOUND ONE OF THEM!
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YOU KNOW THOSE CERTAIN PEOPLE THAT YOUR SISTER NEVER WANT'S TO TALK TO,
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AND EVERYTIME THEY CALL SHE SAYS, TELL
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THEM I'M BUSY, OR THAT I'M NOT HOME, OR SOMETHING LIKE THAT. SAY SOMETHING
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LIKE, WITH THE MUTE NOT ON AND WITH THE PHONE CLOSE TO YOUR FACE SAY, "DO YOU
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WANT
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ME TO TELL THEM YOUR NOT HOME LIKE WE ALLWAYS DO", OR JUST REGARDLESS SAY
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"SHE'LL BE RIGHT HERE". OR, SAY, "SHE SAYS
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SHE'S NOT HOME."
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WELL, I THINK THAT THAT'S ABOUT ENOUGH FOR ONE VOLUME, I SUGGEST YOU GO
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OUT AND TRY ALL OF THESE METHODS AS SOON
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AS POSSIBLE! THEY DO PAYOFF IN THE LONG RUN, AND THEY CAN BE REAL FUN.
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LATER,
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THE METALLIAN
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+-------------------------------------+
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\ (C)OPYRIGHT 1987 BY METAL COMMUNICATIONS & THE NEON KNIGHTS. THIS FILE \
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\ WAS COMPLETED ON JAN 13, 1987 AT 1AM PST. THIS FILE CAN BE REPRINTED \
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\ FOR FREE USE ONLY, AND AS LONG AS THE CREDITS REMAIN INTACT IN THERE \
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\ ENTIRETY. THIS FILE THANX TO: THE BLADE & THE NECROPHILIAC. \
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+ ---------------------------------+
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