292 lines
10 KiB
Plaintext
292 lines
10 KiB
Plaintext
Formatted for 80 columns
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The
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Pro's
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&
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Con's
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of
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DEATH!
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666
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Conceived and Written By THE BLADE
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Everyone, at one time or another has thought about the good and the bad points
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of death. For some, they belive that their soul will go to a certain place,
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such as Heaven or Hell, others think that you just sit in the ground and get
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slowly devoired by various insects and bacteria. Well, if you see your death
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in the near future, here are some ideas to keep in mind just before you take
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your last breath......
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These are the Pro's and Con's of DEATH!!
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PRO: You never have to get up in the morning.
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CON: You will never have another good night's sleep.
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PRO: You will never have another 'bad fuck'. CON: You will never experence orgasim again!
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CON: You will never have the oppertunity to spend the money you have made over
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your lifetime.
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CON: You won't be able to get intoxicated again.
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PRO: You will never have another hangover, nor forget what you did last night.
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CON: You won't be able to kill or attack!
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PRO: You won't be a victim of violent, bloody, painful crime.
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CON: No more picking on little assholes.
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PRO: Not getting in trouble for picking on little assholes.
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PRO: No more being sick or unhappy.
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CON: Not being able to get out of things you don't want to do because you
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are sick or unhappy.
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CON: No more Deth/Black Metal Music.
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PRO: No more Duran-Duran, WHAM!, Bruce Springsteen, Phil Collons, Tina Turner,
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Twisted Sister, Cory Hart, and other shit groups.
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PRO: Not being worried about being caught for phreaking or hacking.
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CON: Not being able to have the fun of being worried about it.
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CON: No more super K-K00L BBS's to crash.
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PRO: No more wasted time looking at super K-K00L trashy bbs's.
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PRO: Not getting burned when you put your hand on the stove.
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CON: Not being able to laugh at other people burning their hands on the stove.
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CON: Not being able to cause general mayhem in your neighborhood.
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PRO: Not spending the night in the tank.
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PRO: No more fights with your girlfriend.
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CON: No more meat when you want it.
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CON: Not being able to throw rocks and other harmful objects off tall
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bulidings in the city.
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PRO: Not getting hit by various objects falling from the sky.
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PRO: Not having to get up from your comfortable lounge chair.
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CON: Not being able to change the T.V. to see that porno flick that everyone
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is raving about.
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CON: No more Bar-hopping in the city.
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PRO: No more knife wounds in the chest.
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PRO: No more losing on your favorite game at your local arcade.
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CON: No more playing your favorite game at your local arcade.
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CON: No more killer concerts, nor any tailgate parties.
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PRO: No more wasted money on bad brew or stupid concerts.
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PRO: No fucking bitching mom to nag and pester you.
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CON: there ain't one!
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CON: No more smoking the ganja.
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PRO: No more bad trips.
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PRO: No more car insurance, and car to take care of.
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CON: No more running over innocent pedrestians.
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CON: Not being able to discharge a gun.
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PRO: No more stay bullets that hit various neighbors working outdoors.
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PRO: No more school.
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CON: No more beautiful asses gallivantin down the hall.
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CON: No more butts.
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PRO: No more lung cancer.
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PRO: Nobody tellin you what to do.
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CON: Not being able to tell the boss to "kiss my fuckin ass, im gone!!"
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CON: Not being able to laugh at all the sick people.
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PRO: Not being able to catch AIDS.
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CON: No more beach.
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PRO: No more getting cut up by fuckin sea shells sticking up in the sand.
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PRO: No more Mormans, Jews, and any other ethnic or religious group you
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espically hate.
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CON: No more pestering, perterbing, bothering, threataning, terrorizing your
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least favorite group.
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CON: No more 'Faces of Death' versions.
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PRO: No more people complaining how gory, sick, and violent the movies were.
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PRO: No more enemies
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CON: No more friends.
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CON: No more computer, modem, games......
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PRO: No more telephone, disk, repair, or new hardware bills.
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PRO: Not having to go christmas shopping.
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CON: Not getting anything in return.
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CON: No more sick jokes.
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PRO: No more stupid jokes.
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PRO: No more stupid inner city people.
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CON: No more cool local people.
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CON: No more tight Levis.
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PRO: No more itchy balls.
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PRO: No more zits.
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CON: No more zits to pop on the mirror.
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CON: No more sun.
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PRO: No more sunburn.
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PRO: No more stupid T.V. shows like Dallas, Punky Brewster, Face the Nation,
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10 hour religious shows, Love Boat, and 1000's of others.
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CON: No more cool shows like Miami Vice, Saturday night Live, Simon & Simon,
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the A-Team (sure), Mission Impossible, and a few others.
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CON: No more sports (like football with your friends, etc.)
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PRO: No more broken hands when someone steps on it with cleats.
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PRO: No more pain.
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CON: No more inflicting pain.
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CON: No more ultimate extacy.
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PRO: No more premature ejaculation.
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PRO: No more 50 below zero winters.
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CON: Not seeing people freeze to deth in the streets.
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CON: No more snow.
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PRO: No more getting chased by people because you just broke their picture
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window with an iceball (right chris, rich?)
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PRO: No more butthole skatboarders.
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CON: Not being able to clothesline em.
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CON: No more trips to exotic, far away places.
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PRO: No more long, irrelivent trips to nowhere.
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PRO: No 1'st day of school.
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CON: No last day of school.
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CON: No more street fights.
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PRO: Not getting caught in the middle of street fights.
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PRO: Not having to hear the word 'commodore' again.
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CON: Not hearing the word 'apple'.
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CON: No more 57 person conferences.
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PRO: No more 57 person conferences getting cut-off right in the best part.
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PRO: Not having to worry about your health.
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CON: Not having your health to worry about.
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CON: No more freinds across the country.
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PRO: Not having to talk to the local losers.
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PRO: No more Ronald Reagan.
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CON: No president to rag on.
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CON: No more shrimp, steak, lobster, Big Mac's, Chicken mc nuggets, and
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other delicies to eat.
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PRO: Not having to eat shit food like at Burger King, and other scum joints.
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PRO: Never worrying about what you can hit on the highway.
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CON: Not being able to have other people worry about what you throw on the
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highway.
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CON: No more wild parties.
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PRO: No more beat parties.
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PRO: Not having to dress up in a suit and tie.
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CON: Not being able to wear your old levis and favorite shirt.
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CON: No more going 105 down the road in the BMW.
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PRO: No more wrapping it around a tree and getting killed (again).
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PRO: Not going to your family picnic.
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CON: No more free money from all your stupid rich bitch relitives.
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CON: Not being able to hack into your local Electric company and causing
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general mayhem.
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PRO: Not being able to be caught and thrown in jail.
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CON: Not being able to crack new software and distribute it all over
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creation.
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PRO: Not getting your name on the worst game put out this decade.
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PRO: Not being able to smell any kind of shit.
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CON: Not being able to smell pussy.
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CON: Not painting your favoirte groups on a large white wall.
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PRO: Not having to see others bad taste on the same wall.
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PRO: No more stiffies in class looking at the hottest girl in school when
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she's bending over your desk with no bra on.
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CON: Not being able to fuck that same girl after school.
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CON: No more cool T-Net systems.
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PRO: No more shit net-works systems.
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PRO: No more cleaning up your room.
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CON: No more finding that $20 bill that you lost under all that shit on the
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floor.
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CON: Not being able to tell the Jhovah's Witnesseses to get the hell off your
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property when they come to try to tell you that they know what they are talking about.
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PRO: Not having to listen to their bullshit ethics.
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CON: Not being able to inflict fear.
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PRO: Not experencing fear.
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PRO: No more school, books, and teachers dirty looks.
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CON: No more girls, mags, and dirty books!
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CON: Not being able to go out and pick berries and other fruits off the
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greenery outside.
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PROL: Not wasting time taking shit's or pisses.
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PRO: No more brushing your teeth or worrying about cavities.
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CON: No more teeth to pick the pussy hairs out of after you ate out a girl.
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CON: You can't swim in a pool or the ocean ever again.
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PRO: You can't get clorine or salt in your eyes again.
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PRO: No more shocks when you stick your finger in the electric socket.
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CON: No more power to play Megadeth, Mercyful Fate, Metallica, Venom, Slayer, or other black/deth metal bands at 140 db's.
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CON: You can't go to your local nursing home and bother the old people.
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PRO: You won't be around to get botherd by kids in a nursing home.
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PRO: You won't be wondering your ass off about what stupid forigeners are
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saying.
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CON: You can't give the stupid forigener wrong directions!
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:::::----------------------------------_----------------------------------:::::
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::::: :::::
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::::: The Pro's _ Call these systems: :::::
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::::: :::::
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::::: & _ 201-879-6668 pw-kill :::::
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::::: ^The Metal AE^ :::::
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::::: Con's _ :::::
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::::: 503/538/0761Metalland 10 meg :::::
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::::: :::::
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::::: of _ 609-921-1994/The Restaurant at :::::
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::::: end of the Universe/BBS :::::
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::::: :::::
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::::: DEATH! _ :::::
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::::: :::::
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:::::----------------------------------_----------------------------------:::::
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Special thanks to: The Metallian, Killer Kurt, Zandar Zan, Nick, The Jaguar,
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Master of Reality, The Excaliber, Gen. Phreakenstien, King Diamond, Megadeth,
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King Blotto, Dr. Death, and Lord Kedorg for their input and humor.
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Written by The Blade, and released on the day of the hurricane,
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September 27, 1985, in NJ, because the wrath of nature will cause many to die.
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(C) 1985 The Neon Knights (C) 1985 Metal Communications INC.
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All Rights Reserved, Unathorized reproduction for pubic use is
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an infringement of international law.
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This file is fiction. All events and actions used in this file are for
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humorous purposes only. No other interpretation is intended.
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Call The Works BBS - 1600+ Textfiles! - [914]/238-8195 - 300/1200 - Always Open
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