193 lines
12 KiB
Plaintext
193 lines
12 KiB
Plaintext
Its another file by those gods of watermelon:
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ÚÄÄÄÄÄ¿ ÚÄÄÄ¿ ÚÄÄÄÄÄ¿ ÚÄ¿ ÚÄ¿
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³ ÚÄÄÄÙ À¿ ÚÙ ³ ÚÄÄÄÙ ³ ³ ³ ³
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³ ÀÄ¿ ³ ³ ³ ÀÄÄÄ¿ ³ ÀÄÙ ³
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³ ÚÄÙ ³ ³ ÀÄÄÄ¿ ³ ³ ÚÄ¿ ³
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³ ³ ÚÙ À¿ ÚÄÄÄÙ ³ ³ ³ ³ ³
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ÀÄÙ ÀÄÄÄÙ ÀÄÄÄÄÄÙ ÀÄÙ ÀÄÙ
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For all your phun stuff...
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FISH presents...
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-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
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Pipe Bomb Primer
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-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
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DISCLAIMER: This file is naughty, and should only be used with parental
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supervision. Entertainment purposes only. No no no little children
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bad bad bad. This one is truly really naughty, in that you could
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blow your fucking fingers off, so be CAREFUL. As usual, the FISH
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Gang takes NO responsibility for your stupid actions after reading
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this file, and we really don't recommend that you carry anything you
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might find within, out. Yes, that made sense. Shut up jerk. It did
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too!
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Part Eins: Sure, everyone and their iguana has made a PHile on making
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Pipe Bombs, and you're probably pretty damned sick of them by now, as
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you being the leech, probably have your disk boxes filled with garbage
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such as this one. So, what makes this one more special than any of the
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other ones? Well, we've been BUSTED for doing this stuff. hahaha
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You KNOW its gotta be good, then.. ANYway, you'll find within, the
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complete, annotated, unabridged, dyslcexi, always fun-filled guide on
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making your own kabomb.
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Part Zwei:
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Commercial
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Part Drei:
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Ok, this is all from personal experience, and practice. You will need
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the following items. Now note, that a 16-year-old kid (I don't know how
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old you are and I don't really give a donkey so I'll just assume you're
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16) walking into a hardware store and buying the following items might
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look just a LITTLE suspicious, so it might be best to either send some-
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one older in, or buy these parts one at a time, possibly from different
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hardware stores. Or, what I have found works REALLY well, is to take a
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piece of paper in with a note from your mommy containing a list of the
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items you need. Make sure the writing looks good on it, or the "smart"
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sales clerk might not buy it. You can take it up to a guy, and tell him
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the things you need, and if you think the list looks good enough, you
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can just hand it to him and say you need the following items. You might
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also want to shove another couple of cheapo items on there to throw him
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off, if you have the CH-CHING$ at the hour of need.
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This crap you can snatch from a hardware store:
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+ PVC pipe, 4-8" long, 1" in diameter or so. 3/4" is fine, whatever.
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preferably threaded. You can get these from any hardware store.
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+ Two end caps for the same diameter pipe.
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+ Some Plumbers cement stuff. You can also inhale this deeply and have
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a little more fun putting your kabomb together. Its just glue that
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turns into plastic. Get whatever is available.
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+ Garden Sulfur, for killing snails and stuff. Make sure the sulfur
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is almost pure. If you can't read, then siyu snne siix ois. You
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might need to go to a nursery (not the baby kind) to get it pure.
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+ Mortar and Pestle.
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+ Some kind of silly-putty consistency junk. You can use those drafting
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erasers, sticky putty for picking things up, anything of this dry,
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gummy consistency is perfect.
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+ Fuse. from anything. steal it from your parents fireworks, or buy
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a small roll from a gun shop. Make your own. who cares, as long
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as it burns well.
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This gunk you can swipe from a pet shop:
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+ Fishtank Charcoal.
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+ Doggy to sacrifice. (preferably a rat terrier. they yap a lot)
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Then, you walk into the pharmacy, passing down the douche aisle (shield-
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ing your eyes of course) and walk up to the counter, with your fake note,
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and say, "Hi, ummm.. my mom gave me this note this morning, and said I
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was supposed to pick up some... Salt-petre.. Do you have any?" I also
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find that it helps to mispronounce Saltpetre if you look REALLY young or
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really suspicious. Don't walk in with your PVC pipe in your hand, or
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you deserve whatever befalls you. If she asks you what its for, say you
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are not sure, but you think is has something to do with your dog. If she
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still bugs you, target her house to blow up, and find the stuff somewhere
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else. Now, it comes in little 4 oz. plastic bottles, so you might need
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two or three. It is also like $4 per bottle, so make sure you have
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enough. Just get enough so you don't have to go back multiple times, but
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not too much to arouse suspicion. I'd say 4 is pushing it.
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Part Vier: So you get your crap home. Make sure you have someplace to hide
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everything, and make sure it is a GOOD place, because as dumb as you may
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think your mommy and daddy are, they will most likely figure out what that
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box full of high explosive paraphernalia is in your room. If you come
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home from school before your parents get home, good deal. Anyway, don't
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make TOO much of this stuff at one time, and don't store too much of it
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together at one time, because if you make a mistake, and you have 15 lbs
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of it together, I'd say bye bye Mr. Housey, and you'd have a k-rad time
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explaining that to your parental units, especially when you are living
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under a bridge, because your idiot dad didn't pay his premium on his
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homeowners insurance this term. Yup, I'd bet they'd be pretty pleased.
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Anyway, so you got yer box to store it in, and yer going to be careful as
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cake.
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Part Funt: Ok, you've got everything. The world is looking good. The sky
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is in the air, and the birds are breathing. There's weather out there.
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Wait until sometime your parents are gone, or roommates, or whatever, if
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you're not living with your parents. Now get out your mortar and pestle,
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put some saltpeter in it, and start grinding away until it is a fine
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powder. Put this aside, grind some charcoal, until that, too, is a fine
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powder, and put it aside, as well, but not with the saltpeter yet. The
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sulfur is fine enough to use as is, so you don't need to grind that. It
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stinks anyway. Now, the proportion of saltpeter:sulfur:charcoal is:
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6 parts saltpeter
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3 parts charcoal
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1 part sulfur
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It is best to do this by weight, as that is the most accurate measurement,
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but you can do it by volume if you don't have a drug scale, which you most
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likely do, because you are a little dope-addicted, subversive, maladjusted,
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antisocial menace to society. If not, just use your mommy's measuring
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spoons. Put these in some kind of container, and stir or shake gently. It
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won't explode if you stir it violently, but you don't want to spill any.
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Now go out to a well ventilated area, or not if you wanna get high, and
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take the PVC pipe and one of the endcaps you bought. Incidentally, getting
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high off rubber cement fumes is about the stupidest thing I can think of
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right now, so don't do it. You'll *literally* fry your brain. Take a
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slotch of the rubber cement and dab it on one end of the PVC pipe, where
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the threads are. now put the cap on, and give it a little time to dry.
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While this is drying, take a drill and drill a hole in the other end of the
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pipe just slightly smaller than the fuse. Put the fuse through the hole,
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and then on the inside wrap most of the silly putty junk around the fuse
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to keep all the pressure in. Make sure some of the fuse sticks out, so it
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can go into the gunpowder, moron. You can also put some on the outside to
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achieve the same thing. Just pack it down hard so it stays and is airtight.
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Next step, pour the gunpowder into the pipe, trying not to spill any.
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Now tamp it down a couple of times, and pour more in. Gunpowder is very
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light, so you can probably do this a few times, and get about 1/4 more
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gunpowder in there than you had originally poured in. Now, put some cement
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on that end of the pipe, trying hard not to get any gunpowder on the brush
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or anything messy and sloppy like that. Take pride in your work. And
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now put the lid on it, making sure the fuse is firmly seated inside the
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gunpowder. Screw it on tight, and now let it sit until the cement dries.
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Just stash it, and clean up your mess. You really need to clean any spoons
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knives bowls anything you used well, especially if it is utensils you use
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for cooking or eating from. Saltpeter causes sterility; that's what it is
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actually supposed to be used for. And it doesn't taste very good anyway.
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So just clean up after yourself, unless you don't want any more brothers
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or sisters, but hey, it's your life if you want to poison your parents and
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yourself. I take NO responsibility whatsoever for your actions. You
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shouldn't even be reading this. You should be in bed. Anyway, stash the
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bomb somewhere safe and secret, like your heating duct, or whatever. Note
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the heating duct gag. DON'T PUT IT THERE unless you don't like your house
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a lot, and want the insurance money. But that's another scheme. Just put
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it somewhere nice and cool where your parents won't find it.
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Part Sex: (it's German, you repressed little monkey) Now, just take the
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bomb with you, when you have your target, light it, and RUN! I hope you
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have a long fuse. For a short time delay, tear a hole in a cigarette near
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the filter, and put the fuse through the hole. Light the cigarette and
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walk away slowly. You've got like 5-10 minutes or so now. Either get the
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hell away from the scene altogether, or get in a safe vantage point, and
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bring binoculars or something. When that bomb goes off, it will wake the
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dead. If it just smokes a lot, then you didn't put enough putty in, and
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it didn't build enough pressure to blow up. It's your fault, not mine.
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Trust me, I've done this. Anyway, if it only smokes, and noone wakes up,
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go and get the pipe out of wherever you put it, and get rid of it across
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town somewhere. Wipe it down to get rid of your fingerprints, too. You
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don't want THEM to come down on you. If it does go off, it is in shrapnel
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anyway, and they'll never get fingerprints. But run your ass off, or if
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someone sees you, just say it woke you up or something. Social engineer.
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Lie, as it were. Make up a good lie, but don't make it too complicated.
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Simplicity in lying is the best thing. If you are with your friends, the
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highest honor you can do if you're caught, and they aren't, is to say you
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are alone. Never rat out your friends, no matter what you do. And always
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run different directions. It is best to agree on a meeting place later,
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in case you get separated. Synchronize your Swatches. Do whatever it
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takes to make sure everyone gets back together later, so little Timmy does
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not get left behind. Don't take pictures of the blast, videotape it,
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anything that can get you convicted later. And most of all, be careful.
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I don't want any 12 year olds with less than 10 fingers.
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/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\
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| Phor more phun phor all occasions, call: |
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| The Sect DeBBie'S CLoSeT |
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| FISH World Headquarters I FISH World Headquarters ][ |
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| FISHNet 666:13/1 FISHNeT 666:13/0 |
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| 801/ifo-rgot 916/kill-me! |
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| Sysop: Punk Rock Girl Sysop: THe iNFiDeL |
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| v.34/1250m/programming/arcane v.34/1200m/programming/arcane |
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\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/
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