178 lines
6.9 KiB
Plaintext
178 lines
6.9 KiB
Plaintext
Yes thats right its another F.I.S.H. F.I.L.E. !
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" Were not just for breakfast anymore!"
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<<99 WAYS TO ANNOY SOMEBODY (and get even)>>
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by PUNK ROCK GIRL
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&
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THE POTATOE LADY
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Disclaimer: This information is for informational information
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only. F.I.S.H. Gang take no responsibility for the misuse of this
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informative informational information.
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Instructions for use: these are mere suggetsions of what one
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might possibly do. If one were to successfully attempt a #69 the
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possibilites are endless. REMEMBER TO APOLOGIVE PROFUSELY IF YOU
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ACHIEVE A #10 OR A #17 etc, etc...
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1. mumble when you speak
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2. call them every five minutes "just to say hi."
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3. spread filthy rumors about them
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4. put vaseline all over their locker
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5. get a porno mag and put a fake adress sticker on it with their
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name displayed prominently. Drop it in the mall, the parking lot,
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etc etc...
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6. give them herpies
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7. follow them around smiling alot
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8. touch thier car a lot
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9. touch them a lot
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10. vomit on them at the least appropriate time. i.e. during
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school!
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11. send them junk mail
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12. smile a lot and laugh incessantly. laugh at everything they
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say including hints such as: SHUT UP!!!
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13. ask them embarrassing questions like DID YOU BRUSH YOUR TEETH
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TODAY? or DID YOU FORGET TO WASH YOUR HAIR?
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14. pry. especially into things that are none of your business
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15. spit all over them when you talk. P,B,S,F, are good letters
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16. tell a friend you hate them but don't say why
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17. cough on them, sneeze on them
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18. stare at them
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19. when they are talking to you:
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stare at their eyebrows
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squint at them
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keep looking over at something behind them
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pick your nose
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yawn
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20. order them things...
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diaper service
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5 tons of gravel
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pizza flowers
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mulch
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all these things usually bill you later
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21. send them love letters from their least favorite person.
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22. poke them with things
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23. ask them why they cut their hair
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24. compliment them on their least admirable qualites. ASK THEM
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IF THEY KNEW THEY LOOKED LIKE A PORPOISE.
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25. sign them up for a CD club with their most hated music as
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their main selection
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26. take their picture all the time
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27. ACCIDENTLY drop their name and phone number in trashy parts
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of town
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28. kidnap their pets and put packaging tape all over them
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29. drain their steering fluid
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30. steal their gas cap
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31. let them know when they have messed up
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32. sing to them
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33. unplug all their appliances
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34. unscrew all their light bulbs just enough so they dont work
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35. take the bolts off the front whell of their bicycle
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36. make up stupid nick names like JIMBO and DAN THE MAN. get
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others to use them
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37. accidently set them on fire
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38. place syringes on them and alert the proper athorities
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39. call them bad names like Queen Daryl and Bunnyfucker
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40. tell their mothers they do drugs, sign them up for New
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Beginnings
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41. everyone has defects, point their out in flyers, on bathroom
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walls, and over school PA systems
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42. murder their animals and make it look like road kill
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43. call the phone company and have thier line disconnected
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44. do meaningnless things to their house like leaving celery on
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the door at night
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45. accidently drop a dye tablet in the washer
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46. talk about them on live television
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47. put gum in their hair... on their seat... in their shoes...
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48. constantly remind them that a relative died, make jokes about
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it
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49. check out library books on their name, rent movies for them,
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make long distance phone calls from their house
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50. whenever anybody asks your name, USE THEIRS! especially when
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doing somehting illegal
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51. change all the clocks in their house to different times
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52. set clock alarms to go off at three o clock in the morning
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53. flip all their circuit breakers and steal all their fuses
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54. turn on the heater in the summer and the cooler in the winter
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55. drop alkaseltzer into their fishtank
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56. put refrigerator magnets on every screen you see (epsecially
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computers)
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57. did you know that if you haold a razor blade with the sharp
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edge at a 90 degree angle with a window and run it up and down it
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makes a really bloodcurdling noise.
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58. tear the last page out of books
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59. tell them there is a party at some deserted loaction
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60. did you know that alum is sold in the spice section of your
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local supermarket? it is possibly the sickest tasting white
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powder ever invented. it goes well on salads... in drinks...
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61. put broken glass in the swimming pool
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62. misuse words ( Freudian Slip )
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63. pour a bottle of Nyquil into the punch.
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64. there is a little screw on those things that amke doors close
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real slow labeled SPEED. turn it one direction until it falls
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out. It will slam quite nicely now
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65. lamp oil kills lawns DEAD!
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66. let the air out of their front left tire
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67. give their dog a nice yummy hunk of meat with laxitive on/in
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it. put the dog in the house
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68. super glue a quarter to the floor in the mall
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69. get a garage door opener and drive through suburbia until one
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opens
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70. place a cup of rotting eggs and milk near their houses
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ventilation intake
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71. put a padlock on their fence and lose the key
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72. remove their lawn mower blade
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73. degause their tape collection
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74. talk with your mouth full
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75. put crushed garlic under their car seat
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76. did you know volkswagons are air tight (mostly) roll up all
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the windows except one and stick a hose in. roll it up the rest
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of the way, turn it on
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77. format all the school computers
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78. relabel all their video tapes, chemicals, disks, etc...
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79. sell everything they own via the classified ads in the paper
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80. tap rythmically with you fingers, pencils, rulers...
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81. turn up the oven
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82. scream and perform a seizure during lunch time in the
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caffeteria
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83. grunt now and then
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84. ask why every time they speak
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85. slurp drinks
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86. drool during a conversation with an authority figure
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87. did you notice that some brands of cat food look just like
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tuna? swithch labels
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89. ALL teachers keep asprin in their desks, switch it with nytol
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90. breath like a horse
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91. sell them encyclopedias at four o clock in the morning
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92. loosen one link in their bike chain
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93. saran wrap over the toilet seat
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94. raod kill is the gift that keeps on giving
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95. keep sending mail to Abe Froman and use their adress get
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others to do so
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96. when they are driving suddenly scream as loud as you can then
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stop
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97. turn their car stereo up all the way before they go someplace
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98. place a few good size hunks of dry ice in a 2 liter plastic
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soda bottle, add some rit dye ( preferably red liquid dye ) close
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the lid throw it into their hot tub and run like hell
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99. writing in candle wax does not come off, in the summer it
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melts on white pavement and turns dark grey. write your favorite
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slogan on your friends drive way.
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100 is just too wacky to mention
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If there are any questions or comments leave mail for:
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PUNK ROCK GIRL (me)
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EZRA
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THE INFIDEL
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THE POTATOE LADY
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but in a way arent we all
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