95 lines
4.5 KiB
Plaintext
95 lines
4.5 KiB
Plaintext
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_____________ _/_/ | | \ \ _/_/ _____________
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| ___________ _/_/ | | \ \ _/_/ ___________ |
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| | c o m m u n i c a t i o n s | |
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| |________________________________________________________________| |
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|____________________________________________________________________|
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...presents... Gun Control
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by The Pusher
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>>> a cDc publication.......1989 <<<
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-cDc- CULT OF THE DEAD COW -cDc-
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_______________________________________________________________________________
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It was a Thursday morning. It had snowed heavily the night before, so
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school had been cancelled. Bobby Fisher and his sister Mary Lou were at home.
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They were watching The Flintstone Kids. The Flintstone Kids ended. Bobby got
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up and changed the channel. Mary did not like this.
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"Hey Bobby, I want to watch Gummi Bears."
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"Mom put ME in charge, so we watch what I want. And we're watching
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Superman!"
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"Please...."
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"Stop bothering meeeee! Go play with your little dolly!"
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"I'll get you back, Bobby Fisher!"
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Mary Lou ran to her room. Crying. Suddenly, a thought came to mind. The
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night before, she had stayed up late with Daddy watching TV. And there was an
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argument. But not over Gummi Bears. The two men were arguing over Coke. She
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couldn't understand why their Cokes were a pile of white stuff. But she then
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remembered what one man did....
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Mary Lou stepped into her parents' room. She saw a magazine on the bed.
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It had pictures. Pictures she couldn't understand. There were women with no
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clothes on, with their mouths around a man's private parts. How icky! But
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"Beach Blanket Blowjobs" was not what she wanted. In the closet, Mary Lou
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found what she wanted. A fully automatic 9mm Uzi submachine gun. She had
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watched enough episodes of GI Joe with Bobby, to know that it was loaded.
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Daddy had always said that, "A loaded gun is needed to protect the house from
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foreign invaders." Like Space Invaders? She stomped into the TV room.
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Bobby saw the reflection of Mary Lou with the Uzi on the TV screen.
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"What are you doing, Mary Lou?"
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"I want Gummi Bears not Stupidman!"
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Mary Lou pulled the trigger.
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The recoil threw her back against the wall, and she shot most of the 25
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rounds into the ceiling. But the first few bullets had slammed into poor Bobby
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Fisher, turning him into Spaghetti-O's.
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"Uh-oh."
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"Hi, my name is Jack Magee, father, rancher, and sportsman. What you just
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saw happened last year in my household. This unfortunate accident could have
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been prevented. Not by banning guns, you liberal puke! That's ridiculous!
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But if Mary Lou had taken a 3-hour NRA course in gun safety, this would have
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never happened. I'm taking little Bobby down tomorrow, so that if the Commie
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bastards shoot his old man, Bobby can protect his mom. Remember kids, you can
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kill gooks with guns, not girls."
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_ _ _____________________________________________________________________
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/((___))\|The Convent..........619/475-6187 The Dead Zone.........214/522-5321
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[ x x ] |Demon Roach Undrgrnd.806/794-4362 Greenpeace's IGB......916/673-8412
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\ / |PURE NIHILISM........517/337-7319 The Switchboard.......718/358-9209
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(' ') |Tequila Willy's GSC..209/526-3194 time centre...........312/377-0359
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(U) |=====================================================================
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.ooM |(c)1989 cDc communications by The Pusher. 05/09/89-#104
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\_______/|All Rights Pissed Away.
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