84 lines
5.1 KiB
Plaintext
84 lines
5.1 KiB
Plaintext
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_____________ _/_/ | | \ \ _/_/ _____________
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| ___________ _/_/ | | \ \ _/_/ ___________ |
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| | _/_/_____ | | > > _/_/_____ | |
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| | c o m m u n i c a t i o n s | |
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| |________________________________________________________________| |
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|____________________________________________________________________|
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...presents... The Man With The Creosote Grin
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by Oxblood Ruffin
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2/15/1998-#346
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__///////\ -cDc- CULT OF THE DEAD COW -cDc- /\\\\\\\__
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\\\\\\\/ Everything You Need Since 1986 \///////
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___ _ _ ___ _ _ ___ _ _ ___ _ _ ___
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|___heal_the_sick___raise_the_dead___cleanse_the_lepers___cast_out_demons___|
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Years ago I worked at the United Nations. One day -- I think it was in
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early May -- I was eating lunch in the gardens at the north end of the UN
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complex. It was one of the first best days of spring; more like summer
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weather. The sun was ricocheting off of the East River and a dull breeze
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carried the scent of fresh grass over the arbors. As I was beginning to
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get lost in the moment a long-legged woman stopped an enormous pram on the
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walkway in front of me. For some reason I didn't associate a gorgeous,
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well upholstered woman with motherhood. The pram was so exaggerated -- like
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an overdone fashion accessory -- that I had to look inside at the baby. So
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I did the little go-goo wave and made the "What a cute little baby" noise.
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Mom smiled and made no effort to continue so I stuck my head back into the
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pram and continued wiggling my fingers. I wasn't so interested in the
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infant as I was in the combined babe/carriage combo. I think it was a
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symptom of how bored I must have been with my work that I wanted to extend
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any moment that was different or interesting. And as I continued to
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stupefy the baby with my antics I heard this, "Hoy, whatter you doin' wif
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my baby?" And up out of nowhere lurches Keith Richards like a wobbling
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goblin waving an immense swagger stick with a silver-skull grip the size
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of a softball. Normally the sound of a pissed off heroin addict raging in
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my face would give me a moment of pause. But all I could think of was,
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"This is Keith Richards. It's Keith Richards and he's yelling at me. This
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is so cool."
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I figured that my brush with the rust man was only going to last a moment
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or more, so there was no way I wanted to waste time answering questions
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about his baby. I blurted out, "When are you gonna do a solo album. I
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loved the shit you did on _Exile on Main Street_," which jonesed the old
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boy right down. He broke out a smirk and said that he was in the process
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of demo-ing some stuff for an album, at which point Madam Richards cleared
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her throat to indicate that it was time to move along. And off he strutted
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without any futher acknowledgment, like a character out of a Dickens novel
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with his wife and her demure vehicle in tow. The day brightened and world
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peace didn't seem so far away. It's funny what some sun and a world class
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junkie can do for your attitude.
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.-. _ _ .-.
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/ \ .-. ((___)) .-. / \
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/.ooM \ / \ .-. [ x x ] .-. / \ /.ooM \
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-/-------\-------/-----\-----/---\--\ /--/---\-----/-----\-------/-------\-
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/lucky 13\ / \ / `-(' ')-' \ / \ /lucky 13\
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\ / `-' (U) `-' \ /
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`-' the original e-zine `-' _
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Oooo eastside westside / ) __
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/)(\ ( \ WORLDWIDE / ( / \
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\__/ ) / Copyright (c) 1998 cDc communications and the author. \ ) \)(/
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(_/ CULT OF THE DEAD COW is a registered trademark of oooO
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cDc communications, PO Box 53011, Lubbock, TX, 79453, USA. _
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oooO All rights reserved. Edited by Grandmaster Ratte'. __ ( \
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/ ) /)(\ / \ ) \
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\ ( \__/ Save yourself! Go outside! Do something! \)(/ ( /
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\_) xXx BOW to the COW xXx Oooo
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