146 lines
9.5 KiB
Plaintext
146 lines
9.5 KiB
Plaintext
|
|
_
|
|
| \
|
|
| \
|
|
| | \
|
|
__ | |\ \ __
|
|
_____________ _/_/ | | \ \ _/_/ _____________
|
|
| ___________ _/_/ | | \ \ _/_/ ___________ |
|
|
| | _/_/_____ | | > > _/_/_____ | |
|
|
| | /________/ | | / / /________/ | |
|
|
| | | | / / | |
|
|
| | | |/ / | |
|
|
| | | | / | |
|
|
| | | / | |
|
|
| | |_/ | |
|
|
| | | |
|
|
| | c o m m u n i c a t i o n s | |
|
|
| |________________________________________________________________| |
|
|
|____________________________________________________________________|
|
|
|
|
...presents... My Night Out
|
|
by Obscure Images
|
|
06/01/1996-#313
|
|
|
|
__///////\ -cDc- CULT OF THE DEAD COW -cDc- /\\\\\\\__
|
|
\\\\\\\/ Everything You Need Since 1986 \///////
|
|
___ _ _ ___ _ _ ___ _ _ ___ _ _ ___
|
|
|___heal_the_sick___raise_the_dead___cleanse_the_lepers___cast_out_demons___|
|
|
|
|
The show was opening at a new gallery in town. I don't recall what it was
|
|
called, but I'm almost positive that it was something really industrial and
|
|
menacing. Regardless, I was exhilarated that some of my work was going to be
|
|
in the show and a little nervous about the reaction it'd get. Fortunately it
|
|
was a group show, so there was a built in safety valve. If my stuff wasn't the
|
|
best, it was still probably better than someone else's.
|
|
|
|
When I arrived, I was surprised to see the number of people that had
|
|
gathered. I was excited about it until I remembered that it was the opening
|
|
night, which always means free food and liquor. I have heard stories of people
|
|
who live in larger areas that survive solely on food from openings. If the art
|
|
thing doesn't pan out I think I might move somewhere else and give it a shot.
|
|
The gallery was dimly lit, except for spot lighting on the actual pieces of
|
|
art. The music was a generic ambient soundtrack, turned up loud enough to
|
|
notice, but not so much as to prevent conversation. As I walked through the
|
|
entry way I felt a wave of pretension wash over me. I grinned, thinking this
|
|
was the way the game was played.
|
|
|
|
My first piece in the show was a canvas I had painted a flat white, except
|
|
for a bright cobalt blue dot in the middle. Also, in fine lettering along the
|
|
bottom edge were the words, "Don't stand here too long." I quickly walked
|
|
past, even though I knew that I didn't have the mechanism wired up. I stood
|
|
not too far off to watch the people file past it, picking up snippets of their
|
|
conversation. Checking to see if anyone would stand there too long.
|
|
|
|
"...quite frankly, I feel that this piece is somewhat standard. You know
|
|
that this has already been done many other times, and the command on the bottom
|
|
is ludicrous. Wth a work like this you wouldn't want to stand here at all,"
|
|
said an older man, dressed in black with his wife, also in black.
|
|
|
|
I chuckled to myself, as they had been there too long. If the mechanism
|
|
was hooked up, they would have both been dead. Incidentally, the name I gave
|
|
the piece was "Bug Zapper." It was good to know that it worked.
|
|
|
|
I talked to some people for a while and played my part as the artist. I
|
|
had to give rather lengthy explanations of some of my work to people who looked
|
|
as if they might be interested in purchasing it. The "Bug Zapper" was really
|
|
the only conceptual work I put in the show. The rest of it was more
|
|
representational.
|
|
|
|
After talking to several perspectives, I went to play with another piece
|
|
that a friend of mine made. It was a giant life-sized version of Rock'em
|
|
Sock'em Robots, complete with controls that people could use. This would have
|
|
been a really cool toy, but the part that made it an artistic statement, at
|
|
least according to my friend, was exceptional. When a player loses and the
|
|
head pops up, the robot turns around and bends over, exposing its ass to the
|
|
victor. Along with its amusement value, it is a commentary on how little
|
|
progress there has been in power relations. Dominant male primates will often
|
|
demand submission from the other males in the tribe. This submission is
|
|
expressed by bending over and presenting himself. My friend says that it would
|
|
explain a lot about masculine distaste of homosexuality at some primal level.
|
|
Could be.
|
|
|
|
Remember the puppet made out of beads & string on a plastic base? You
|
|
made it move by pushing the circle in the base up and down. You pushed, which
|
|
loosened the string and made the puppet limp. If you messed around with it
|
|
long enough you could do some pretty cool puppetry. Anyway, that's what my
|
|
piece was, a full sized version of one of those toys. I made it out of PVC
|
|
pipe and some nylon rope. Cheap and easy, especially since I just made a
|
|
skeleton. I was going to go political with it but I thought that might come
|
|
off a bit trite. People seemed to be enjoying it. It was raised up off the
|
|
floor with enough space to lay underneath and push the disc in the base to make
|
|
it move. I had it priced pretty cheap, as I didn't have anywhere to put it at
|
|
my place, so I wanted someone to buy it.
|
|
|
|
Most of the people remained for the performance art. In a spirit of
|
|
kindness, I will keep the artists name out of this story, because I'm not sure
|
|
she is as proud of the work as she was when she performed it. Fortunately for
|
|
those of us in the audience, she was attractive. She still is, more or less.
|
|
Anyhow, she came out onto the stage and started ranting, occasionally ripping
|
|
or slashing at an article of her clothing. Quite frankly (I'm sounding like my
|
|
pretentious couple now), the rant was uninspired, her shtick was weak. At best
|
|
it could be called a Lydia Lunch/Karen Finley thing. At worst it was the
|
|
feeble warblings of someone with a few too many womens' studies courses in her.
|
|
Things did get interesting when she brought out a large wax dildo and bent over
|
|
in front of the audience, lighting one end and shoving it up into herself. I
|
|
might add for clarity that the lit end was not the end inserted. She furiously
|
|
masturbated herself with this flaming dildo while screaming at the top of her
|
|
lungs about getting fucked by men, getting fucked by institutions, getting
|
|
fucked in just about every way conceivable. Then as quickly as she worked
|
|
herself into the frenzy, she relaxed and became quiet. The crowd was silent,
|
|
waiting to see if it was over when an expression of horror flashed across her
|
|
face which was followed by the enormous roar of massive flatulence, which
|
|
caused the small flame at the end of the candle/dildo to flare up and out
|
|
toward the audience. It was all I could do to not fall over laughing as she
|
|
removed the dildo and walked off the stage. I was absolutely flabbergasted at
|
|
the audience's reaction. They clapped, and later I heard members of the
|
|
audience talking about how clever she was. I had my doubts, and as I told her
|
|
some time after this, she managed to take radical feminism and drag it down
|
|
into male high-school locker room humor. I also added that at least it was a
|
|
step in the right direction. She hit me pretty hard. That's another story
|
|
altogether.
|
|
|
|
Closing time grew near so I decided to make my way to the exit. On the
|
|
way I talked to the gallery owner, who informed me that several of my pieces
|
|
had sold, and he had some people interested in one or two others. As soon as I
|
|
cleared the doors, I began to laugh. I laughed all the way to my car, and then
|
|
all the way home. When I think about the event I still chuckle. Oh yeah, I
|
|
took apart the bug zapper painting. I decided that if people were actually
|
|
going to pay for my work it'd be best not to kill them with it.
|
|
.-. _ _ .-.
|
|
/ \ .-. ((___)) .-. / \
|
|
/ \ / \ .-. [ x x ] .-. / \ / \
|
|
-/-------\-------/-----\-----/---\--\ /--/---\-----/-----\-------/-------\-
|
|
/ \ / \ / `-(' ')-' \ / \ / \
|
|
WORLDWIDE \ / `-' (U) `-' \ / WORLDWIDE
|
|
`-' .ooM `-' _
|
|
Oooo / ) __
|
|
/)(\ ( \ Copyright (c)1996 cDc communications. / ( / \
|
|
\__/ ) / All rights reserved. Award-winning CULT OF THE DEAD COW \ ) \)(/
|
|
(_/ is published by cDc communications, P.O. Box 53011, oooO _
|
|
oooO Lubbock, TX, 79453, US of A. Edited by Swamp Ratte'. __ ( \
|
|
/ ) /)(\ / \ ) \
|
|
\ ( \__/ Save yourself! Go outside! Do something! \)(/ ( /
|
|
\_) "THE COW WALKS AMONGST US" Oooo
|
|
|